Saturday, July 4, 2009

How to drive your human insane.

Sage could be teaching a class in how to drive your pet human insane. Today I bought blueberries as this time last year Sage couldn't get enough of them. I bought the bigger of the two container choices figuring this blueberry addict would be sharing them. Nope, she looked at me like I was trying to get her to eat a styrofoam packing peanut. Oh, who am I kidding, *that* she probably would have chowed down.

Later, after doing some gardening, I brough her in some rosewood and rose blooms to snack on. I'd removed all the thorns so my delicate little angel wouldn't get cuts in her mouth, mostly by applying them to my thumbs while I was trimming the roses. She sniffed at the blooms and gave me the 'What the heck is THIS?' look. I said "Roses! You used to like those too!"

Starting to wonder if my rabbit was off her feed, a serious condition in bunnyland, I went and plucked some grass from the lawn. THAT she ate down like it was going out of fashion. "Are you trying to drive me insane?" I ask her. I got a one ear salute, which I took to mean 'You already are, its just fun to see how far along the path you go.'

Having a strange and sudden craving for hot dogs I went out to the store. I failed to find corn tortillas to wrap them in (I also was probably looking in the wrong place) I decided to eat them as is. If nothing else, the salt content should drive my BP up and make me feel more human. I also purchased some ketchup since that which lives in my fridge had a best before date that expired two years ago. I suspect it was one hard mass of had-been-ketchup, but I just threw it out.

So, I nuked hot dogs. I put them on plate. I added ketchup. I sat down on the couch. Sage appeared, periscoping, nose wriggling madly. "You're KIDDING me." I told her, "YOU are NOT Scout. You do NOT eat meat!"

She hopped up onto the couch and tried for the plate that I picked up, "Nuh uh! Not bunny food!" She tilted her head to one side and seemed to think about what her next step should be. She sat back down on her haunches and watched me. My hot dogs were getting cold. I decided to go back to eating them (with a knife and fork for those who didn't think I was weird enough for talking to animals.) Sage slowly crept up. I finished the hot dogs but she didn't go away. "What do you want? They're gone!" I said holding the plate up to her.

She licked the ketchup and did a binky off the couch.

My rabbit is weird.

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