Saturday, September 28, 2013

[Gerbilly Posting] State of the Freddie. No dress.

Freddie is about two and a half years old now, if I assume he was six weeks when I got him. Neither he nor Fergie grew any, so anyone's guess is as good as mine on age. Gerbils typically live up to four years, but Freddie is starting to show signs of age. He is drinking more, sleeping more, running around less, and doesn't always burrow to sleep. I also think he's busy trying to find a mate since he STINKS to high heaven at the moment! (Okay, okay, its just musk-scent, but still.. male stink in my apartment! Eww..)

He's still cheerful, still curious, and still willing to take a sunflower seed from my finger and give me a lick of thanks. (He'll even crawl into my hand for a pumpkin seed, but I only have those when I raid my Dad's stash.) He's about 60 in human years, so slowing down a little is perfectly natural. I keep meaning to stop by Sardis Park and pick up some willow for him to chew on - the ASA in it is good for him and might help if he has some arthritis. On cold/damp morning he's less destructive/enthusiastic and than on dry ones.

Of course, gerbils as desert mice, so he's probably a bit confused by this rain forest existence anyway.

But, over all, still perfectly able and willing to pester his bunny friends. :)

Friday, September 13, 2013

[Silly Stories] A Valkyrie in London.

The writing challenge today was given as "Write a story about Valkyries and Football." With a friend going on about West Ham lately, I choose the other sport called 'football.'

Geirrönul looked like what she was; a Valkyrie. She stood at six feet, she had long blonde hair, a build that said she could toss a caber and the man attached to it, armour from neck to knee and a very large spear. What was rather out of place about her was more than she was standing on a street corner in London. She frowned as she looked about, having no idea why she would have been sent here and now. What need anyone possibly have of her in this dreary place?  Spotting a crowd of the fishfinger lovers, she headed that way, ignoring the bleats, blasts, and profanity of taxi cab, bus, lorry and car drivers as she crossed the street without considering traffic. She was immortal, what was the worst they could do? 

At one catcall she stopped and turned with a raised eyebrow as she walked back to the lorry driver that had been shaking his fist. He stopped when he saw her expression and started madly trying to wind up the window. She walked back around him and put a meaty hand on the top of the glass and stopped its upward progress. It was only a few inches from closed, but pressure had the electronics protest as she forced the window back down. The driver started babbling that he didn't want any trouble and it was just work and road frustration and he was right sorry and all that. Geirrönul leaned forward so her face was in the vehicle. "Your mother would be disappointed in you. She would be more disappointed if I had been forced to fillet you for your disrespect. Perhaps you should work on your manners?"  Even with them both having learned English as a second language, he understood and paled. Several yes ma'ams, sorry ma'ams, and she released the vehicle and strode back towards the small crowd of people.

The small gaggle of policemen had been debating to see if they needed to save the driver from the crazy woman started to debate if they were relieved that she was coming their way. One of the braver footmen stood in her way. "Miss, might I ask you what your business here is?"  One of the detectives wandered over to stand behind him.

"I was summoned to escort a warrior." She said. Wasn't it obvious? Although what a believer was doing in this time and place was a mystery, she had a duty to perform. No being who reeked of cabbage, tea and curry was going to deter her. Perhaps his brain could work on thinking if he ate better, a sensible diet of meat and mead would surely fix him.

"Of course you are." The policeman said with a sigh. "If you'd like to come this way?" He asked, gesturing towards the side.

Having had a chance to examine the situation, a dead body, a man being restrained, a soul pacing beside the dead body, Geirrönul needed no assistance.  She's also just about run out of patience with this whole place. "That will not be necessary." she told him and pushed past.

"Now see here!" The policeman bellowed and grabbed her arm. Patience lost, she turned to look down at him, and he suddenly clutched his throat and fell to the ground. Satisfied the block between her and her duty was nullified, she continued forward. The detective's eyes widened and he started to take a step towards her but changed his mind and instead went to investigate the now second corpse.

She ignored the "What was that for?! Are you bloody crazy?!" coming from the newly released soul. His own deity or deities could take care of him, he was no longer her problem. She also ignored several more police and detectives who decided she needed restraint. The bullets were irritating for all that they didn't damage her. A wave of a hand and they were released to have conversations with their own gods about the wisdom of interfering with a Valkyrie.

Geirrönul stopped in-front of the first soul. "What happened?"

"That psycho! He started up about his tickets! They were counterfeit --"

"They were bloody not!" interrupted one of the newest souls to crowd the area.

"They were too! Even still, you should have just let me scan them!" The gateman started to argue with the ticketholder.

"Shut up." Geirrönul ordered the second soul. She didn't feel like arguing with an idiot who didn't even belong to her pantheon. "And?" she said to the first soul.

"He pulls out a gun! He pulled out a frelling gun! And he shot me! He started to go through the gate but he tripped over me! Not enough he kills me, but he has to trip over me too?! There I am, bleeding to death, and that jak falls on me! My coworkers are diving every each way and then an off duty shows up .. and I am milling around waiting for something to happen when you showed up. Why're you here anyway?"

Geirrönul raised an eyebrow, "Are you questioning me?" She didn't wait for an answer, "And how are you a warrior?"

"You ever stand ticket taker for a football match?!" He spluttered.

Her cheek twitched. The idea people had of warriors in this day and age. They considered her a warrior because she could kill with touch, look or weapon; that wasn't a warrior at all. "And you are Odin's?"

"I guess? I mean, I started swearing by him as a joke at first.."

She sighed. "Fine, let's go."

"Go? You're a Valkyrie right? But where's your horse?" The soul complained as she gathered him into her power and keeping.

"You think I would bring a horse into this pollution?" She asked with disgust. "Walking won't kill you."

"Ha. Ha." The soul muttered, following in her wake.

The lone surviving human on scene, the detective who had been wise enough not to interfere, crossed himself as he looked at the pile of bodies. He was having trouble believing it was all because of a football ticket and an idiot's idea of religion. 

The Mirror just reported, "Slaughter at Upton Park, no news here."

Sunday, September 8, 2013

[Bunny Silliness] Speedy's having a pirate party!

"Now Mick, remember what happened the last time you had rum.."
"I played bury the gerbil in the sand?"

Sunday, September 1, 2013

[Bunny Opinion] Writing songs, with help from Maddy.

To the tune of "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias

Let me be your bunny.

Would you hop,
If I asked you to hop?
Would you nom
And never share?
Would you flick
If you saw me flicking?
Would be my humom tonight?

"What is this MUSH?!" A small bunny voice asked from beside my elbow. I hadn't even seen Maddy's arrival. Her nose twitched a mile a minute at her disgust. "That's not a good bunny song AT ALL!"

"Er. Are you supposed to be using the portal yet?" She seemed rather lively for a bunny who had been hanging on by her ears so recently.

"I didn't ask." She replied distractedly. "Surely you can do better!"

"Than ask?" I asked, confused.

"NO! At the song." She flounced her head, ears bopping. "Humans, can't keep your mind on any one thing for five seconds. I don't know why we put up with you. I guess it's 'cause you're cute or something."

"Or the opposable thumbs." I couldn't help but interject. She was leaning over my laptop now, shoving my hands aside, obviously wanting to do her own typing.

"Those are nice, but not necessary." She replied distractedly. "Look, here's a good song.." She started bouncing around the keyboard as she put in her opinion.

Back in black
I hit the sack
It's been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes I'm, let loose
From the noose
That's kept me hanging around
I keep looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the hearse 'cause I'll never die
I got nine lives
Cats eyes
Usin' every one of them and running wild
'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in black
Yes, I'm back in black

"Uhm." I managed. "That's just AC/DC's "Back in Black"" I couldn't help but pointing out.

"Well, its a good song!" Maddy defended. "Not like that crap you were writing. Stuff and nonsense." She sniffed.

"You've been hanging around Speedy too much, you're starting to talk English." I tentatively scritched her nose.

"I speak bunny, you just hear English. Stupid human." At least she wasn't calling me an 'ape' yet. "Oh, little to the left." I obediantly scritched to the left.

She suddenly shook her head, "That's enough. I'm gonna go visit Buttercup'n'Jensen." She sneezed. "Write something better!" she ordered before hopping off my couch and hopping to the closet portal.

I stared at the blank screen for several minutes until inspiration struck..

Something better.