Friday, March 17, 2017

[WoW Fanfiction] Once more into Suramar.



Chewie was happily sitting in the bar, hooves up on the table, cold ale beside them. He had a rabbit sleeping on one leg, a blood elf on the other. The rabbit at least didn't drool. He moved Rae's cloak so she drooled on it instead of him.

He'd awoken with a vague headache and a lot of bad orc pottery in his pack. One could only wonder where Leensa had dragged him off to, apparently it had been fun though and he'd gained enough gold in his pockets to buy armour cleaning and ale while he waited.

A tugging at his leg for him to look down to find a second rabbit looking at him expectantly. "Looking for Miss Lola, Speedy?"

"Not yet!" Came the cheerful reply. "Highlord Raelanaa is requested in Suramar by the Lady Liadrin."

Chewie dutifully gave the rabbit messenger craisins and watched him hop off. Miss Lola, who wasn't as asleep as she seemed rolled off Chewie and made herself scarce before she could be put to work. Then, with glee, he grabbed the edge of Rae's cloak and sent her crashing to the floor.

Rae woke up mean. She rolled to her feet, a dagger that had been on her belt suddenly in her hand as she looked around for the danger.

"Morning sleepy!" Chewie said happily.

Rae's eyes narrowed as she glared at the Tauren. Chewie moved his tail out of biting reach. One could never tell with the paladin sisters.

"You've been summoned to Suramar!"

The very eloquent reply was "Blurgh. Coffee."

Chewie looked around and down at his tankard. "Nope, none here. You'll have to go to the bar."

Raelanna just looked at him. It was a very scary look.

"Er, maybe I'll just go to the bar and fetch you that coffee."

Chewie came back with a large mug of coffee, looked at her legs where he'd previously been sitting, considered her smirk, handed her her coffee and promptly sat down on her legs.


* * *

Landing near the camp of blood elves, Chewie looked around with some amusement. Apparently, elves COULD move quickly if they really wanted to.

Lady Liadrin was busy waving papers in the air at some mage. Or at least, Chewie assumed they were a mage since they were completely impractical clothing and looked like they'd swallowed a frog.

She turned to Raelanna and then looked up at Chewie with some surprise. "You brought a Tauren."

"He's housebroken and mostly useful," Rae said dryly.

"He's also standing right here and can go home to bed," Chewie interjected.

Lady Liadrin just rolled her eyes, though it was kind of hard to tell with Blood Elves and their freaky green eyes. The glow just kind of swirled.

"I need you to contact the scouts I sent into the city and collect their reports. The fighting has spread, and I suspect they're trapped behind lines." The leader of the Blood Knights turned to eye Chewie again, "I suppose a Tauren could be useful."

"He's a shaman. He can do more than just rain frogs, y'know." Rae actually defended him. Maybe he'd not summon frogs into her soup .. a second time.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure." Lady Liadrin turned back to the mage to return to whatever argument they were having that involved chrono somethings and power whatsits. Chewie was more of summon a lightning elemental and send it up the skirts of your enemy problem-solving system.

"I haven't actually agreed to this," Chewie pointed out as Raelanna turned and walked away. He followed her quickly enough; she had to take three steps to his every one. Every so often he'd mince his steps and take the same tiny ones she did. It generally ended with him being elbowed in the gut and Rae swearing a lot about hurting her elbow on his armour. Silly Elf, if she'd wear more armour, she wouldn't hurt herself so often.

"Excuse me," a quiet voice interrupted. The intrepid duo turned to a near-withered who looked familiar to Chewie.

It didn't take him long to place the man, "Absolon, my friend! How's it going?"

Rae did a double take, "You know him? I know him!"

"I am blessed by such friends amongst the outlanders, it is true. The Lady Raelanaa gave me mana when I would have withered, and Lord Chewie took my letter to my wife." He wrung his hands, "It is my wife I worry for. With the war moving into Suramar, and I hesitate to call it anything but war, I fear my dear Norissa is trapped. I do not wish to lean any further on your kindness but.."

Chewie put his hand on the Nightborne's shoulder and patted softly. "It's okay, bro, I got you."

Rae nodded, "We'll get her and every other civ out safely.. we'll just start with her."

She turned and continued the walk to the failing shimmer of the protective dome over Suramar city.

Chewie looked back at Lady Liadrin then forward to Raelanna before turning to glance at Absolon and sighed. He hated Suramar. Why did he always have to go into Suramar? The sewers were starting to look good.. maybe if he was lucky a giant meteor would fall from the sky and turn the whole place into a giant crater. Well, after they got the good people out. The demons and collaborators could be smoking meter dust for all he cared.

"Cheer up," Rae said as he caught up. "You get to hit things with your hammer. That always makes you happy."

The noise Chewie made back sounded suspiciously like he stuck his tongue out at her and blew a raspberry. But of course, being the mature, wise, leader of the shaman of Azeroth, he'd never do any such thing. Not while Rae was looking, anyway.




Wednesday, March 1, 2017

[Pirates of the Caribbean Fanfiction] Meanwhile, on the good ship Rumrabbit..


Handsome Jack sat on the gunwale and ignored the world with only the grace and ability that a cat could produce. His long, luscious, perfect, tail, curled around his feet as he sat up, making sure he faced the wind correctly to make the light fur ruffling breeze got it's action right. It was hard to be the best looking being in port, but someone had to do it.

A shadow fell across him, and he let out a sniff before turning to stare at the source of the rum stench. It also smelled more human than most humans did it.

"That's a cat." The human said, peering down at him.

Handsome Jack yawned.

"You don't do cats. You do rabbits." The human said, frowning.

Captain Ren appeared out of the human's shadow. She barely came up to his shoulder but was a fierce hunter and provider of chicken puffs. Handsome Jack decided he'd let her scritch him along the jaw and even let out a rumbling purr to let her know she was doing a good job. It was important to let your lackeys know they were successful in their tasks.

He tuned out what Captain Ren was saying; it probably wasn't important anyway since she wasn't talking to him. Something about the human being the master of the obvious and she worshipped all creatures as glorious as himself, probably.

"The cat's name is Jack?!" spluttered the human.

Handsome Jack narrowed his eyes and glared at the human.

"*Handsome* Jack." Captain Ren corrected.

Handsome Jack gave a little cat sniff while he considered being mollified . The decision was made for him when Captain Ren started rubbing behind his ear. Well, that was just cheating.

"Well, he is better lookin' than the monkey."

Jack sat up, full out glaring at the human with a little hiss, tail lashing against the wood and his front paws.

Captain Ren reached up and smacked the human on the back of the head. "He was named Jack before you were named Jack."

"I'm not sure time be workin' that way. I'm older than the cat."

Jack let out a warning low rumbling growl that this human better be more respectful to himself and his provider of toys, treats and scritches. Well, his secondary provider, his humom was better at it still, but one made do when one was on vacation.

"He's not named after you.. and the monkey smells better."

"Than the cat?" The human asked archly, "I can agree with that!" He said smugly.

Or at least, he was smug, until Handsome Jack had had enough and launched off the gunwale to land rear paws on the human's chest, his front on the human's eyes. His hind claws dug in for purchase, while he flexed his forepaws meaningfully.

"Right. This is why we don't insult cats. I forgot that. Never leave your hat around a rabbit and don't insult a cat." The human paused. "Ahem." Handsome Jack considered adding a little more flex. "I sincerely apologise for the insults you have taken of Handsomest of Jack Cats."

Handsome Jack couldn't quite decide if he'd been further insulted or it was a genuine apology but the human smelled terrible, and it would take an hour to get even worse stenches out of his claws if he gutted the human. He allowed Captain Ren to disentangle him from the pirate's hair, bandana and necklaces. He curled up in her arms, using ample bosom for a pillow. He then stuck his tongue out at the human who, if he had any sense at all, would be appropriately jealous of the Handsome Jack curled up in warm snuggles.

The human's response to stick his tongue back out at Handsome Jack.

"Really? What are you? Twelve?" Captain Ren muttered in disbelief as she gave Handsome Jack some pets and put him down on the deck to saunter off in search of an elusive dish of chicken.

"Now, about your hat stealing rabbit.." He heard the human start up.

Handsome Jack sniffed and flicked his tail in the human's general direction. Really, if he thought he was getting that hat back from Cindy, he was an even bigger idiot than Handsome Jack had taken him for.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

[Fur Fiction] Lagomorphic Postal Services.

(A very early picture of Miss Lola - I think this was from her foster home)

Miss Lola Bunny woke up to a human staring down at her. "What?" she thumped, one ear going backwards in disdain.

"Coffee." The humom said. It was a simple word, but then, Miss Lola was pretty sure her humom was quite simple.

Miss Lola yawned and stretched. Oh, right, she was supposed to have fetched that yesterday. Not like the world was going to end. With a sigh she hopped off towards the closet to go fetch the stupid coffee.

* * *

Same Time, Next Morning.

"This is not coffee!" The humom complained. 

Miss Lola was pretty sure she wasn't getting paid enough.

"This is hot chocolate!" The humom continued.

"It could have been French! Canadians label their cans weird." In all honesty, she'd just grabbed the first she'd seen. Who knew humoms could be so picky? Well, she suppose she did, but she could be more grateful and less picky.

Miss Lola sighed and headed back towards the closet. 

* * *

Same Time, Next Morning.

"This is NABOB!" The humom protested, holding up a can. "And it's INSTANT."

"Then you'll instantly stop complaining? It's coffee. It's Canadian. What more do you want?" 

"Tim. Hortons. Coffee." The humom said in a tone that was probably supposed to sound infinitely patient, but to Miss Lola sounded like it didn't have nearly enough treats to follow it up with.

Miss Lola huffed. This was just ridiculous. She once again went back to the closet.

* * * 

Same Time, Next Morning.

"THIS IS A CAN OF YOUR POOP!" The humom complained. 

"Poop, coffee, what's the difference anyway?" Lola muttered. Enough was enough, she hopped over to the couch, grabbed her humom's tablet and nosed to Amazon. She then looked at her humom pointedly.

"You're supposed to be faster." Her humom grumbled as she placed her order.

Miss Lola gave full foot flicks to THAT as she hopped back to her hidey. She'd have to be paid five times as much to be faster than a bunch of silly humans in blue uniforms. And be able to read French, which obviously no sensible rabbit would want to do. Le lapin, her fuzzy white ass.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

[WoW Fanfiction] Going down with an elf.



Going down into the den of mayhem that was the Dalaran sewers was certainly a different experience when you followed a nine foot tall Tauren through the tunnels. Most of the people they encountered took one look way up at the smug shaman with Doomhammer on his shoulder and backed away slowly. Leensa was rather irked, what did they do when they saw her when she'd made the mistake of coming down here by herself? Why they'd attacked in force and tried to steal her sword.

She may have been muttered under her breath in Thalassian at the injustice of it all and not paying attention to Chewie coming to a sudden halt. She walked straight into his rear. As she took a step back, the tuft of his tail smacked her in the face twice. She was about to take a swipe at it when she realized the reason Chewie had stopped was because he'd come chest to chest with a Tauren almost as large as he was.

"COUSIN!" Bellowed the newcomer.

"COUSIN!" Bellowed Chewie.

Both echoed quite nicely through the sewers, causing nervous glances all around from the residents.

"You stole my fish!" Chewie accused.

"You stole my boat!" The newcomer returned.

"It had my fish in it!"

"And my wife!"

"I gave her back!"

"Why do you think I'm mad?!"

This exchange resulted in laughter that made Leensa roll her eyes as the two pounded on each other and passed back and forth a few more jokes that were hilarious only to them. Eventually getting tired of it, she elbowed Chewie in the side. He didn't even notice. Sighing, Leensa smacked his rear with the flat of her sword.

"Hey!" He protested, turning to look down at her and saw her expression. "Oh. Right." He turned back to his cousin, "Have you happened to see a couple of blood elf kids running about down here? Y'know how elves are."

Leensa wasn't even going to justify that. Besides, as tempted as she was to stomp on him, he'd probably just turn around and do the same, and he'd do a lot more damage.

"Oh sure." Chewie's cousin said, "They're over there with the crazy redhead." he gestured over his shoulder down one of the large drain pipes. He gave Chewie another thump on the shoulder, "I'll see you later Cuz. Have fun with the elves if that's possible."

"Somedays. Someone's gotta keep them out of trouble." Chewie said, finally getting a move on.

"Yeah. Okay." The cousin didn't look real convinced, and Leensa felt like smacking him with her sword too.

"Well, will you look at that!" Chewie exclaimed when they reached the end of the tunnel.

"I can't look at that; there's a big Tauren butt in my way!" Leensa protested.

"Is there? Well, I'm just curious, are you sure you left Raelanna in bed? Asleep? I mean, I realise you're not a tracker by nature and all but.." He kept moving as Leensa tried to shove past him, blocking her. "..That certainly looks like Rae, and she's not asleep or in bed and OW!" He whirled on her. "YOU BIT MY TAIL!"

"Well, you wouldn't get out of my way! And don't be a big baby, Chewie! I barely nipped it." She ignored him clutching his tail and looking at her with sad Tauren eyes. She shoved past him and finally got to observe that, yup, that was her sister sitting on a barrel lecturing two young blood elf would-be squires.

"RAE!" Leensa yelled, hopping down for the tunnel.

"Hey, sis! Welcome to the party!" Rae called happily, waving with her free hand.

"You are supposed to be in bed!" Leensa grumbled as she got to where her sister sat.

"Why? It's boring there. I mean, no one to play with!" Rae gave her best wide-eyed innocent look. "Hi, Chewie! You understand about boring beds with no one to play with, right?"

"Don't drag me into this!" Chewie said. "I'm just here to make sure no one eats your sister."

"Yeah, she is kind of a wuss." Rae agreed.

Leensa was about to curse them both out when she heard a whirling noise and ducked. An axe went flying over her head; Rae caught it one handed and threw it back. The dwarf who threw it cursed right before it hit his helm with a solid clang.  "I hate it down here!" Leensa complained.

"It is kind of stinky and sticky." Chewie offered.

"Fiiiine. Take the squibs and go back to boring upper Dalaran." Rae said.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Leensa asked incredulously.

"Why?! I'm not done having fun yet!"

Leensa took in a depth breath and let it out slowly. "Chewie's theory about Blood Elves may not be wholly inaccurate." She turned to the two youths who were staring at the collection of unconscious people Rae had piled up against the wall. "C'mon, you've got a lot of explaining to do."

"I told you, Elves be crazy," Chewie informed Leensa happily. "Rae's just less subtle about it that most."

"I heard that!" Rae told him.

"You were supposed to." he rumbled before grabbing one squire by the ear and letting Leensa grab the other by the elbow.

"Thanks for herding these two, by the way," Leensa said to her sister as they turned to go.

"Yeah yeah, you're ruining my image of helpless maiden." Rae made shooing motions.

"Ha. Helpless." Leensa muttered. Her sister's idea of fun was very strange, but then Rae thought Leensa was crazy for enjoying carving jewels. "Hey Chewie, did I mention Shev has you on duty at 0800?" Leensa asked innocently as she skipped up to him, dragging the helpless would-be squire with her.

Chewie stopped, turned and said "Nope, I just checked, the duty roster says 'Paladin who kept Chewie up all night is on duty at 0800.'"

"Wouldn't that be Rae then?" Leensa asked innocently.

Chewie just sighed. He didn't get paid enough. Hell, he didn't even get paid. He was obviously paying for crimes committed in a previous life.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

[Lorna Babble] Early morning wake-ups.


When my friends observe that they were awoken by their four foot in the early morning, I'm sympathetic.. but smug. I don't current have any cute fuzzy animals running about my home. Another condo where I'm not allowed pets, and I haven't really found out how 'no pets' the 'no pets' rule is. So those 0530 wake-ups where you have a cat standing on your bladder, staring down at you, or the 0330 bunny 500 through the house at top speed, don't happen. I blissfully sleep on.

Until today, that is.

You see that sweet, innocent, little fluff face up there? That's Muffin from Tails from the Foster Kittens. She phoned me via Facebook at 0530 this morning and woke me up.

She probably wanted to complain about how grossly abused she is, how she never ever gets pets, or snuggles, or treats, or food in general. (Tongue is in cheek.) It was 0830 HER time, it's hardly her fault that I live somewhere where the sun wasn't up yet. She hadn't woken me up in the wee hours according to her, after all.

Fortunately, her humom caught her at it and has probably revoked her phone privileges until she appreciates time zones.

Yup, it's true, I got butt dialed by a cat. :)




Friday, December 2, 2016

[WoW Fanfiction] Naaki, Tanla and bits of door.


(For the sake of story I'm pretending Demeana isn't an elf.)

Naaki yawned and stretched , shifting the clefthoof saddle that was on his shoulder. It probably smelled worse than his mount, but it kept pesky little goblins and elves from swarming him as he made his way up to the Horde's headquarters on Draenor.  It wasn't that the Tauren paladin had problems with the smaller races, per say, just sometimes one wanted to listen to the peace in their own head and not the hyperactive chattering of small people. Okay, and maybe the way their noses wrinkled up and they tried to make polite escapes when the wind shifted was amusing to him.

It was snowing in Frostwall. It always seemed to be snowing in Frostwall. Inhaling snowflakes through one's snout was a distinctly unpleasant experience. Naaki was still snorting and shaking his head when the door to the headquarters exploded into splinters and a male Blood Elf in plate mail went hurtling past in a blast of arcane energy. The elf went ass over head a few times before hitting the top of the steps of the small marketplace and then went clattering down them.

The commander of the Horde forces on Draenor stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the torches and fireplaces within. Arcane energies sparked and danced all around her, her fists glowing dangerously. "Did you want to come back up here and say that again?" she asked with ice cold calm, walking down the steps from the headquarters to glare down to where the Blood Elf lay. "Do you want to claim a MISCOMMUNICATION?"

Naaki dropped his saddle in the snow bank by the door debris and put his hand on sword, moving to shadow Tanla as she put sparking hands on her hips. He felt, more than saw, Druuze taking up a similar position behind her other shoulder. He'd wondered where the Troll had gotten to.

The fallen elf spluttered a few things, getting to his feet. He started to draw his swords before looking up at Tanla and her shadows. Naaki hadn't realised elves could actually get paler. "No." He finally muttered, looking anywhere but at her and the small crowd of pissed off people that was gathering behind her.

Tanla stared down at him for another few heartbeats. "Then I suggest you pick up your gear, get on your steed, and get your ass to Warspear and go back to Azeroth. If I hear of you setting foot on Draenor again, I will drag you before Vol'Jin himself and explain to him why you've just become the Horde's chief hoof scrubber for the pig farm outside of Orgrimmar."

Naaki had been to that farm. It stank. Farmers weren't paid enough. Pigs weren't bad, but pig shit was one of the worst smells he'd ever encountered.

"Yes." The warrior grumbled as he got to his feet.

The commander and her shadows didn't move until the elf had gotten on his horse and ridden through the gates. The crowd slowly melted away now that the drama was done.

Tanla stood and watched the elf collect his horse and mount up. As soon as the back hoof of said horse had gone beyond the gate she turned to the Tauren. "NAAKI!" She exclaimed. The aura of arcane energy disappeared, anger dissipated as well apparently. A burst of arcane energy to boost her up as she jumped up to wrap her arms around his neck and plant a friendly kiss on the side of his face, completely ignoring the stinking saddle. "Are you the bearer of good news? How's your lady? WHERE'S your lady?" She let go and dropped back down on the well-packed snow. She glanced over at Druuze, probably to threaten him with the same enthusiasm, but he'd disappeared. She seemed to accept that the rogue had decided that his duty didn't include getting hugged by elves. Naaki figured Druuze was probably off making sure a certain asshat was getting his battered butt through a portal back to Azeroth.

Before Naaki could answer any of the barrage of questions, she grabbed his free hand and tugged towards the command hall. He contemplated resisting just for the sake of amusement, but he figured she'd had a rough day already, and it wasn't like it was going to get better so he docilely followed along.

Once through the remains of the door, he dumped the saddle by the wall. A hand wave and the Light granted a barrier across the door. It wouldn't take long for the blazing fires to warm the place back up, he hoped. While the plains got cold enough in the winters, he'd spent weeks in a hot, humid, jungle and wasn't too fond of the environment around here.

Tanla grabbed a collection of books off a Tauren sized chair for him to sit on and dumped them on an Orc sized chair before retaking what she'd been obviously sitting on before the brouhaha.

"What was all that about?" He asked before settling on the chair, tail swishing back and forth in an effort to warm it up. He refused to wear those silly 'tail warmers' that the blood elves oh-so-innocently kept offering.

"Oh, the usual." She waved a hand.

"The usual?" he repeated, eyes narrowing.

"I married an Orc, Naaki. My kind doesn't DO that." She said with some bitterness. He was actually kind of surprised it wasn't more bitterness considering her husband had been MIA since Deathwing's final attack.

He snorted, "Your kind consort with anything with the right equipment, and even then I'm not quite sure they're not willing to improvise."

She rolled her eyes. Naaki was convinced Blood Elves were just all teenagers. Bloodthirsty, violent, teenagers. Which was actually rather redundant when he gave it a second thought.

"That's okay. FUCKING other races is fine. You just don't MARRY them. That means they're PEOPLE, that they're EQUAL to the great elven kind." She gave him a wry smile, "and we couldn't give THAT message, could we?"

"So what did Mr Pleasant say?" She waved a hand, trying to dismiss it. He shifted, crossed his arms across his chest and waited. He could be a very patient person when he wanted. Oh sure, Dameana called it being 'stubborn' but he preferred patient.

It took about four minutes before Tanla huffed. "He called me Commander Orcwhore. I objected."

The wooden table's creak got him to unclench his fingers. He hoped that Druuze accidentally eviscerated that elf between here and Warspear.

She stood and walked towards the larger fire, blinking a bit at the shimmer of Light energy that covered the doorway. "They have a surplus of doors, once you're gone, it'll be replaced."

"Blow up the door often?" Naaki asked, reining in his temper from thoughts of making sure Druuze did a good job.

"It's an ORC outpost, Naaki," she said wryly, mood changing once again. "They build the doors all the same size because THEY break them often."

"Mmmf."

"So.. as I asked earlier, why are you here, where's your lady and how are you doing?"

He sighed, "Things have changed on Azeroth. Our forces ended up working together, as much as we ever do, to assault the Broken Shore. Wrynn and Vol'Jin were killed."

Tanla cursed in the liquid language of the elves and sank back in her chair. Her mind obviously at work. "Who is Warchief? Bane?"

"You'd think." Naaki didn't quite growl, "But no, Sylvanas."

"Sylvanas?!" Tanla repeated, shocked. "But .." She waved her hands about before managing to find words, "As much as I love the Dark Lady.. Warchief?!"

"Vol'Jin chose her. I'm told without her, the Horde's best warriors and leadership, they wouldn't have escaped Gul'dan's trap. It gets worse - the Alliance blames us for Wrynn's death, thinking Sylvanas betrayed them."

"The Alliance are idiots," Tanla muttered absently, her thoughts obviously elsewhere.

"THAT goes without saying." Naaki agreed. He watched her twist a lock of hair around her finger several times.  "The Warchief has asked for your to attend her." Tanla hadn't talked about her association with the Dark Lady much, beyond that they'd worked on 'some projects' together in the past.

Tanla sighed. "This doesn't surprise me. Are you taking over here? Or are we withdrawing from Draenor entirely?"

The paladin thought that for the first time since he'd met her, Tanla actually looked her age. "We're pulling the majority of the forces we still have here out, shut down the outposts. We'll keep Warspear and here active for now. I'm to take command her till new orders appear."

"That's what you get for complaining about being stuck in the jungle to run the campaign against the citadel." He huffed his irritation, more to create the faint smile that crossed her face than anything else. "And Dameana?"

"I left her threatening to smack Y'Rel and Grommash's heads together if they don't learn to work together."

Tanla shrugged a shoulder, "Well, that could at least be entertaining. Alright, let me pack my books and I'll be out of your fur within the hour." She looked out of the shimmering doorway. "Sorry about the door."

"Eh. I'll find a hide somewhere to stretch across it if necessary." He stood up. "Did you want another hug?" He wasn't quite sure on hug protocol with her.

She let out a short laugh, "Maybe if you weren't in your armour, it leaves creases and bruises. Get one from your lady when she gets here." Tanla suddenly grinned, "And don't use Grommash's hide for the doorway. He may be useful in the future."

"Anything's possible," Naaki grumbled. Trying to convince the slaughterer of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands, of Draenei to work with justifiably bitter Draenei had been trying, to say the least.

Tanla's chimelike laugh sounded more like her own as she summoned a portal and started placing her collection of books, scrolls, and odd devices in. He'd have offered to help, but the last time she'd threatened him with a full body electrolysis if he tried. Once Dameana had stopped laughing when he'd asked what that even was, he decided to leave well enough alone from mage paraphernalia.

Tanla stopped in her packing to look at him for a moment. "I'll summon you a realistically sized bed before I go. You don't want to know what Orcs consider comfortable."

He snorted his amusement, "I know what they consider comfortable and I disagree with them. Thank you." His spine would thank her more.

She put a mug of ale down in front of him and went back to her packing.

As elves went, at least this one knew what was civilised.

Monday, September 12, 2016

[WoW Fiction] Chewie and Leensa -- going down?



Chewie was having a lovely dream. He was sitting back up against an old tree, it's age a comfort in a rapidly changing world, wolves were playing tag with bunnies (the bunnies tended to win - they cheated), there was a breeze with the smell of bacon, and it was just about as idyllic as anywhere could be. Or it was until something sharp bit his ear and a snake appeared to hiss in his face.  The shaman woke in a hurry, grabbing for Doomhammer, which he'd stashed under his bunk.

His motion was stopped in a hurry by his planting his forehead against someone else's - that someone else's went crunch rather than crack, and he opened his eyes to seeing Leensa holding her nose and mouthing profanity as she fell on her ass.

"Ooops," whispered Chewie. He didn't want to wake half the bunk room. He was actually surprised the loud sound of bone on bone hadn't done it, but since most of the bunks were manned by orcs, he supposed they'd slept through worse.

Gritting her teeth, Leensa's hand glowed with a soft yellow light, and the blood stopped and her nose straightened. Hissing slightly, reminding Chewie of that dream snake, she got to her feet and gestured with her head for him to follow. She was rubbing her nose and trying not to give him dirty looks. Was it his fault she'd stood over him when she'd rudely woken him up?

He had to wonder what she was doing down here; Leensa and her sister had rented a rather luxurious suite in a lower tower. He'd have done similar if he felt like burning money AND they'd built any to Tauren specifications. He always felt like he was kissing his knees whenever he visited the two blood elves for mead and biscuits. Once they got outside the barracks, he turned to look down his, quite undamaged by the encounter, nose, at the paladin.

"I need your help," Leensa said without ramp up. She was never much for small talk.

"Okay." He said indicating he was listening. A half-chime of the nearest tower bells gave the time. As if the guards exchanging reports hadn't been an indicator.

Leensa was shifting nervously. "Two of Lady Liandra's squire-applicants didn't return for curfew. We had a sweep around the city, but she thinks they may have gone down into the sewers. She had to get back on duty, so that leaves me to find their scrawny little butts and get them back here."

"Right." Chewie acknowledged. "Why me? Why not Rae?" It was a fair question. While the two paladins did often go their separate ways, currently they were both in the city at the same time which meant they would typically raise mayhem together.

"The sewers, Chewie," Leensa repeated to his blank look and sighed. "Once we get her down there, she'll never come back up. She says it's a fun place to be."

"Wat." He couldn't see why anywhere so damp and dark could be considered fun, but then, he wasn't a blood elf. He shook his mane, "Fine, let's go." He hefted Doomhammer onto his shoulder. "But you're paying my cleaning bill for my hooves and replacing my hock protectors! I don't care what the rogues say; I know what the Apothecary Society dumps down there."

"Cowhide for the armour?" Leensa asked slyly as they slipped down the darkened streets.

Chewie gave serious thought to just going back to bed. No, he'd go and help and hold it over her head for a week. Of course, considering how short she was, it wasn't hard to hold everything over her head.

Sewers, why was it always sewers?