The blood on the wall scrawled out, "He was mean to Katie." The writing was done much like a ham-fisted child would use a large chunk of chalk to write on a sidewalk.
Katie sighed and started up the stairs to the attic hatch. Really, who did they think would clean up this mess? She stopped under the attic hatch and pulled the handle down. "Who did you eat?"
She could feel their attention on her, much like a sulky child's.
"You can't just eat people. We have a deal."
The shutters creaked, but no reply came forth.
"Were they a serial rapist, mass murderer, book burner, Nazi or anything along those lines?" She already knew the answers, but one had to be firm. Katie tapped her foot, looking her most stern.
"No." Came the grudging reply. The hollow voice whispered through the house, wrapping around Katie twice before fading out.
"Is being mean to me a reason to eat them?" She asked.
"Yes?" Came the hopeful answer.
"No." Katie corrected.
"Aunt Dawn says it is!" The House protested.
"Aunty Dawn is not a good influence." She muttered. "Then you tell Aunty Dawn that someone is being mean to me, and she'll handle it." She'd worry about that if The House figured out how to use phones or a computer.
"He was mean to Ragekitten!" came the protest back, the voice grumbling.
"What did he do?" Katie had been pretty sure the house's victim had been the jerk next door, but this just confirmed it. Jones was the type of asshole that thought one type of animal was better than another and declared dogs better than cats. He'd tried to lecture more than once about the wonders of dogs over cats and how he hated cats. With that attitude, Katie was pretty sure if she were a cat, she'd hate him right back.
There was a long silence. "He hissed at him and tried to spray the hose on Ragekitten through the open window."
Katie was mildly surprised. The snotwad had grown up next to The House, you'd think he'd have half a brain cell to use not to pick a fight with them. "Still not an eating offence." Katie informed The House.
"Should be." came the muttered response.
"Put him back together and puke him out." Katie told The House.
"Fine." The pipes started to rattle and the floorboards creaked.
Katie shook her head with a sigh and went back downstairs. She found hubby Clifton looking at the words written in blood.
"Who'd The House eat?"
"Jones from next door."
"Good, he's an asshole." Clifton replied, sitting down to take his shoes off.
"Clifton!" Katie protested.
"What? He is!"
"NOT AN EATING OFFENSE." Katie felt she should just start getting buttons made that said that.
Clifton humphed and picked up DePeachie who'd come sniffing around. "Should be." he muttered.
The House and her husband were entirely too alike.
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