Friday, March 27, 2015

[WoW Story] A druid and a shaman walk into a forest..

There was scarce findings for Iron Orcs. Apparently the grunts had been sent out on some task and as soon as they spotted a fire wielding shaman and a very large Tauren with a very big stick, they high tailed it the other direction. Raska was disappointed she didn't get to slaughter things, the most she got to do was suppress fires.

"Do you know you have a rabbit following you?" Tsunderebear asked, tilting his head to where the brown lop eared rabbit sat.

"Oh, that's Mick. He comes and goes." Raska turned to eye the hill. It seemed to have more enraged Bontani, plant people, than it did Iron Horde Orcs.

"Well, hello Mick." Tsunderebear told the rabbit with some amusement.

"Feh." Mick replied. "Why're we hanging out in a burning forest?"

Tsunderebear was startled by the rabbit's command of the Orcish language and caught Raska's wicked grin that said 'You started it.' "Well," Tsunderebear started, "We're trying to stop the burning."

"You'd be better off with a fire extinguisher or a fire truck, if you ask me." Mick sniffed and turned to lick his side, "But you didn't, so you'll probably go do something foolish like attack that group of Orcs around the corner. I can smell them from here." Mick flicked his paws together, "Here's an idea Orcish empire, Horde, whatever, bathtubs and showers. Improve morale of your allies, Orcs stink." He gave Raska a stern look, even though she was well bathed, and hopped off into the near by brush.

"That's his magic trick, disappear when danger is near." Raska said rolling her eyed, "Let's go find those Orcs."

Tsunderebear shook his head in bewildered amusement, while he was in touch with most of nature and her children, he'd never met so grumpy or sassy a rabbit before. It was an easy lope to keep up with the shaman, he was almost two feet taller than her, after all.

They turned the corner and immediately ducked back as an Iron Orc warrior went flying through the air past where they'd been and into a tree, neck broken.

Raska called upon the fire elements to her fist, ready to apply as another warrior came their way, this one running for all he's worth.

"GET BACK HERE!" A voice called. Female, accented, and angry. Before Raska could release fire or Tsunderebear could release fury, a Pandarian came flying through the air and landed on the Iron Orc where she applied axe to head. The Orc lay dead underneath her as she picked herself up to look at the two staring at her. "Hi. I'm Yaks." she said, plunking axe into her belt. She dusted off her paws, seemingly ignoring the blood on her fur. She flicked a lock of green hair and said "If you're looking for Orcs, I'm afraid I axed 'em all already."

"Well, actually," Raska said, letting go the flame, "We're looking for an enraged and corrupted tree."

"I am Tsunderebear." The druid introduced himself, "That is Raska."

"THAT?" Raska protested, "I am not a THING."

"No, you're an Orc." Yaks agreed. "Same difference really."

"What?!" Raska growled, flame creeping around her fist.

"Anyway. The tree's this way. I kind of went wide, it's a bit angry and my axe isn't THAT big. But I guess you two could tip the scales. I mean, as long as you're not scrubs."

"What's a scrub?" Tsunderebear asked, falling into step with the Pandarian.

"Newb. Scrub. Useless. Fuck up. Y'know." Yaks sort of explained as she kicked aside brush to scramble through bushes.

"There's a path." Raska grumbled as another branch was whapped into her face. You'd think a person the size of a mountain in front of her would prevent the foliage attacking her not encourage it. She stopped and looked at the back of the druid suspiciously. The branches were definitely moving out of his way and back again. That bloody cheater!   Yaks just seemed happy to crawl and scramble through the brush. The maniac.

The end of the trip through the thicket ended with a sharp scramble down a medium sized cliff. Yaks just rolled down it, flipped, and landed on her feet. Tsunderebear skidded down on his hooves, using his staff as a mix of rudder and balancer. Raska took one look at it and summoned an earth elemental to carry her down. The rocks formed into a shape, seemed a bit surprised by the request and easily carried her down.

"Really?" said Yaks. "That's a bit of a waste."

"*I* don't have stone chips in my hair." Raska said, resisting sticking out her tongue.

Tsunderebear wasn't quite sure if he should step in the middle and try to intervene the growing cat fight or if he should stand back, way back.

"You don't have any hair! Just a braid thing!" Yaks replied with a sniff, running fingers through her own hair.

"It's a style of status and --" She was interrupted by Tsunderebear.

"Is that the tree we're here to see?" he asked mildly. Of course, mildly from an 8'4 bovinoid was still rather conversation stopping.

The two women turned to where he was looking. The tree was larger than the forest, it carried the torso of a treant in one hand as some sort of weapon, and was busy smashing everythinga round it. It sent a Botani flying against the cliff.

"Uh. Yes." Raska confirmed unnecessarily.

"Great! Let's trim it's branches!" Yaks said with enthusiasm and charged. "Just call me a lumberjack!" she yelled as she jumped onto the enraged giant.

"What the .. I can't.. Oh..!" Raska spluttered and then chased after the insane warrior. She threw a fire totem to the feet of the giant tree and called upon fire to burn it from within as she threw balls of fire at the torso, careful to not hit the reckless Pandarian busy hacking at it with an axe.

Tsunderebear, who until this part had been using the powers of moon and sun, turned into a very large bear and roared loud enough to send rocks tumbling down their cliff sides. The tree, even under attack, paused. The druid raised up on his back paws, roared again, and then charged the tree, claws mauling and flaying.

"Everyone is insane." Raska muttered, standing back to throw healing energy at Yaks. The warrior was being beaten by the corpse of the treant and she didn't much seem to care.

Calling on the power of the elements, burning the inner rage, she cause their powers to grow and their actions to hasten.

The tree was moaning and growling in anger, Tsunderebear was growling better. Yaks had carved chunks out of it when it finally managed to pick her up and throw her halfway across the canyon. The Pandarian landed rolling and jumped to her feet with a flourish.

Raska called lightning down on the tree, striking from top to bottom, bolt after bolt.

Tsunderebear, on hind legs gave the tree a mighty shove as Yaks bounded back with her axe. Raska called the best of her fire and managed to light the remains into a blaze.

The trio stood back and watched the enraged tree perish. Raska let out a sigh and leaned against her staff, exhausted. She needed some food and drink desperately. Tsunderebear, still a bear, flumped at her feet. If it could be said a being she could ride could flump at her feet. Yaks stretched, turned at the waist a few times and looked around. "Okay, so what's next?"

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

[WoW Fanfiction] Raska & a Moo-bear.

Raska looked around in frustration. She looked at the lousy map she'd been given and surveyed the area once more. She growled under her breath and crumpled the map up and tossed it towards a nearby pond.
"Excuse me," a deep voice said from up and behind her. Raska turned and looked way up. While she was tall for a female Orc, she felt rather small. A rather tall Tauren looked down at her with furrowed brows. "It would have been no effort to put that in your pack instead of littering the wildlife."
She opened her mouth to say her opinion of his 'littering' and then decided discretion was the better part of valour. "My apologies." She muttered and stomped to the bush and picked up the lousy map and shoved it in her pocket. "Happy?" she asked.
"Of course." He replied and smiled. A shrug adjusted a pack almost as large as she was. "I am here seeking to destroy corruption of the balance."
Raska eyed him, "You're doing the druid shtick just to try and piss me off, aren't you?"
The Tauren gave her a toothy grin. "Maaaybe."
Raska growled under her breath and tossed her long purple braid over one shoulder. "Congratulations, it worked."
He dropped the formal and drawling tone, "What're you looking for?"
"An ancient tree that's been corrupted by dark spirits. It's supposedly larger and angrier than the treants of the woods." She sighed and pulled out the abused map and straightened it out enough to show the Tauren. "This is supposedly where I can find it."
The Tauren squinted at the map. "Whoever drew that should go back to map school."
"A goblin. Who I shall be testing his own rockets on when I get home." Raska replied. She looked up at the Tauren, "I'm Raska, of the Frostwolf clan."
"I am Tsunderebear." He said, offering a rather large hand for her to shake. Raska took it and gave as firm a grip as he.  "Looks like we have the same quest, we should do it together."
"Sounds good to me. Any idea where we're going?"
Another grin. "Well, if we want a large angry tree, I think we look for lumberjacks. And the Iron Horde has been active to the south-west."
Raska's hand went to the staff on her back involuntary before she pulled it back. "I wouldn't mind kicking some Iron Horde butt."
The grin grew wider, "Sounds like fun. Maybe we'll even find the tree after a pile of Evil Orc butt."
Raska tilted her head to one side. It was an interesting mental picture. She pulled her staff off her back and tapped the butt of it on the ground twice. "Shall we?"
Tsunderebear snorted in amusement, "Oh yes, let's."
The two scrambled down from the collection of rocks their griffons had dumped them on and onto the soft loom of the twisted forest. The sound of a lumber machine could be faintly heard to their south-west, the duo turned with smirks and headed towards mayhem.

[WoW Fanfiction] Tanla tormenting Orcs.

Tanla Crystalsong, high mage, garrison commander, a war leader of the Horde, stopped on the steps of the war mill and admired the blood elf smith who walked past. He smiled and gave her a 'Ma'am'. Well, what the hell, her husband was long gone. She smiled back and gave him a longer look up and down, "Smith." she replied with an appreciative smile. He gave her a grin and kept going.

She stifled a sigh and continued down the steps and back towards the hall. The orcs insisted on calling it the 'great hall' but she was pretty sure they would agree with her it wasn't so great if they'd ever been to Silvermoon. She did so get tired of orc architecture.  So many spikes and horns. The furs were nice, but did they always have to have the heads on them? And the beds, lord, hadn't they ever heard of silk sheets? Or soft mattresses? Good thing she could portal to Silvermoon any time she wanted to get sensible things. The less said about orc rations the better. Indoor plumbing would also be a treat.

Tanla stopped at Sergeant Grimjaw. "Hello Sergeant."

"Blood and thunder!"

"Uh, sure." She said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "So, how goes things?" It seemed a commandery thing to ask. She still wasn't quite sure what Vol'jin was thinking putting her in charge of the main garrison. Sure, she was perfectly good at blowing things up and was talented at inspiring orcs in battle (You ran in, blew things up, they'd follow) but leader? Was he smoking .. oh, well, he was a troll.

"Resources are overflowing thanks to your efforts, Commander!" Grimjaw reported proudly, "No further hints of incursions since you blew the shadow council a new one!"

"Well, they rather deserved it, coming in so rudely." She replied. Tanla looked around, "You know what we need?"

"No commander." The mighty orc warrior looked wary. He was never quite sure what to expect from the blood elf. Last week, he could have sworn she was trying to flirt with him. There was a rumour that she'd been married to an Orc years before, but he found it hard to believe. What orc could be so desperate that they'd marry an ELF?

"We need a hair dresser." She said, as seriously as she could. "It would certainly spruce up the troops. Good for morale. Cheer everyone right up." She hid her smile inwards. Orcs were so fun and easy to make uncomfortable.

"Uh, yes sir." The orc paused waiting to see if this was some sort of elven joke, but she just looked at him expectantly. He wondered if he could get an early retirement or a transfer. He was proud to serve, of course, but he was pretty sure this elf didn't care much about honour and was more about destruction. She was obviously insane. "I do not think we could convince a talented barber to move to Frostfire, ma'am."

"Ohh. Good point." She sighed, "Then I'm off to Orgrimmar for a primp. Do try to keep the garrison upright while I'm not about."

"Uh, yes ma'am. Sir. Tanla, ma'am." He sighed. Things were easier in the orc army, everyone was sir or grunt.

Tanla reached over and patted him on the head, "It's okay Sergeant, you just be an orc, I'll be an elf, and it'll all work out in the end. What you call me doesn't matter."

He blinked, "Uh, I'm not sure an orc commander would like being patted on the head, sir."

She grinned, "I like you, Grimjaw. We should get you a promotion."

"Uh, yes sir. The raise would be nice."

"You get a pay cheque? Hmph. I need to have a chat with Vol'jin while I'm in Orgrimmar.."

Grimjaw wasn't quite sure what to say about that and was grateful she just started to create a portal to Orgrimmar.

He had to say he did like a commander who stayed in the field most of the time and left him the hell alone.