Friday, November 30, 2012

[Gerbil Pics] Well.. Since I was asked..

I received an email this evening from Minnie Bunny. She said, "If you don't distract my Mom with gerbil pics, she'll come pester me. Distract her or your lap top cord gets it!"

..Who am I to argue with a rabbit?

[Random Gerbil Silliness] How to exhaust a gerbil..

How to exhaust one gerbil :

Give him an entire toilet paper roll to play with / destroy.

Poor little guy, fell asleep beside it. He really did his best to destroy the whole thing, but only made it about halfway through burrowing into it, then managed a spray of white fluff as he attacked it tooth and claw. He came out to spread the new fluff around and ended up just curling up where he was, without even burrowing.

I'm sure he'll be a right trooper and continue on with his task after his sleep. :D

Monday, November 19, 2012

[Blog Award] And the winner is...

(Little Freddie Gerbil hops up onto stage and scurries his way to the podium.)
"*Ahem*" Said the little gerbil, standing on the very tips of his back toes to reach the rabbit sized microphone. A jump up and he grabbed it with front paws and with the sounds of scurrying being projected through the room, he scrambled up to sit on top of the mic.  "I wants to thank everybun for welcoming me into your fuzzy family .. even though I'm not a bunny. This just prooves bunnies, and their humans, are the bestest."

Satisfied with the speech, he nodded twice, "Oh. And thank you!" he added, not quite sure he'd been polite enough. He then hopped off the mic, scurried down the cord and off stage, leaving a long suffering Dutch to carry the award. The thing was bigger than the gerbil, he couldn't even move it with his nose. He had no idea where he was going to put it -thing wouldn't even fit in his cage!

But.. It sure was pretty and shiny! Rabbits sure did know how to spoil a guy!

[Bunny Fiction] 'Cause Mr Mick said so.

"Dat's right! Listen to your master!"

"WOOHOO!" Cried Hannah, "I've figured out the right compound mix for the rocket fuel!"

The bunnies quickly gathered around and applauded. "I still think we shoulda just stolen it from NASA." Mickey muttered.

Hannah gave him the Look Of Doom that does did so well. "Then we'd have had to steal one of their ships too, and if I may point out, their ships are now in museums?"

Mickey scuffed at the carpet, "Details.." he muttered and promptly got a headbutt in the shoulder from best-friend Speedy. (English Dandelions had an extra crisp consistency.)

"We get to go to space!" Speedy said, trying not to run around on spot in anticipation.

"Be easier if they just had closets on the ISS." Mickey grumbled.

"No coats." Hannah said, peering down her granny glasses at him. Its not that she needed them, but her Mom always seemed to do better work with them on.

"Another lack of humanity's part." Mick said, giving his paw a lick and then brushing his luxurious coat with said paw.

Hannah looked from one to the other, "Now, you boys WILL be good, right? Won't get in any trouble? Won't destroy the Moon or Earth or Solar system or anything?"

Speedy and Mick exchanged a glance and gave Hannah their bestest innocent looks.

She let out a long sigh, "That's about what I thought."

* * *

"Systems check?" Speedy asked.

"Hell if I know, Racer programmed the automated systems. He said just push the big red button when we wanted to go."

Speedy shrugged a shoulder, reached over and hit the big red button with his forepaw. There was a click, then a clunk, then a whir.

"Might want to sit back." Mick said, making sure his harness was secure. The seats pivoted so that they didn't have to sit on their backs like silly humans did.

"Right!" Speedy agreed, wiggling back into the harness with only a few grunts and one lost tuft of fur.

The whirring was getting louder. Even with cotton stuffed in their ear canals they were getting protests from their brains. Then there was a sudden woooooosh! and the rocket launched up into the sky.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Exclaimed Speedy as he was pushed down into the seat. This was faster than he'd ever gone before!

"Arrgak!" Mickey managed, worried that his fragile bones were going to break under the pressure. Maybe they should have done some of the testing NASA put its astrowhatsitspeople through.. but it had all seemed rather silly human games at the time. Not to mention, entirely too many of the games took place under water. Mickey hated getting wet, it took so long for his thick fur to dry out!

Speedy was managing to bounce in place in glee as the blue sky faded to black and the forces of gravity lessened and lessened until they were floating against their harnesses, the forward screen (No wind, so it couldn't be a wind screen!) covered in stars. "Ooooo.." both bunnies breathed.

"How long till we get to the station?" Mick asked.

Speedy checked Winston's notes on the calculations. "Six hours. That's why we had to leave at that time, so we didn't have to do a full orbit to catch up and then a second in alignment."

"Nap?" Mick asked.

"Most indubitably!" Speedy answered.

Mick closed one eye to give Speedy a hairy look. He wasn't quite sure if his English friend was teasing him or being genuine. He decided he was much too tired from all that stress and excitement to figure it out. Nap time, indeed!

* * *

"That's the last of them!" Speedy announced as he nosed a tank into their space ship. The two foot furless were on the arm trying to count stars or something silly. The two foot furless who was supposed to be keeping watch was taking a nap. The bunnies had approved of that, most humans didn't appreciate the importance of naps AND it made it easier for them to steal every research animal out of the station.

"They didn't treat us too badly," A lady skunk was saying as Mick helped her out of her cage, "Just .. all that whirling, and twirling, and floating .. and your lunch never wants to stay where you put it.."

Mick commiserated, there was just about nothing worse than an uncooperative lunch. He was escorting animals through the closet. Hannah, Racer and Winston were in charge of helping the wild creatures get back to the wild and the not-so-wild find good homes that wouldn't make get injections and cold thermometers in uncomfortable places.

Mick came back to find Speedy sitting and waiting for him. "All the cages back?" He asked.

"YUP!" Though, they might be a bit suspicious at how the locks were all smashed.

There'd been a long strategic meeting on how to get the cages open and how. Maddy and Umbra had suggested the "Brute Force and Ignorance" plan. So, Speedy had stolen the cages, Mick got them open and took the creature back to earth and came back. Mick had to admit, he was pretty dizzy and wondering about the lay of lunch himself. That was *a lot* of closet usage!

He stumbled back to the controls with a yawn while Speedy disconnected them from the station. When all the lights were green, Mick told Speedy they were clear and Speedy hopped up and secured himself to the seat. Mick pushed the big red button and the maneurvering jets fired on Racer's preplanned course.

For the next several hours the ship made its way away from the station, heading into the great blackness of the void. The two bunnies shared some chocolate covered digestive biscuits, which let them play 'chase the crumbs' and had some mint tea to wash it down with.  Afterwards was another important nap.

A chime woke the two, "Well, that's it then. You gonna head home?" Mick asked.

"I better. Grandma's supposed to be coming over.. and she said something about a hat to match my scarf. I just hope it has ear holes!"

Mick blinked at that. He hoped HIS Mom didn't get any bright ideas along those lines! "K! Well, I'll IM you tomorrow then!"

Speedy nodded, "Will do!"

Speedy stepped into the specially made closet and Mick licked his paws while he waited for it to cycle before taking his own turn. He snuck back into his cage, looking most distraught at the complete lack of oats. His Mom was slacking again! Why, with only a salad, pellets and seeds he could *starve!*

A sigh of the long suffering bun, he flomped down for another nap. There'd better be oats when he woke up!

* * *

The human watched him as his paws twitched and his whiskers danced. "What do you think he dreams of?" He asked.

The female looked over and shrugged, "Digging up carrots, I suppose. Not that he's ever had that opportunity.. maybe its just instinctive."

"Sounds pretty boring. But I guess if you're only a rabbit.."

The human male was fairly lucky that Mick was too deep asleep to hear the "only".

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

[Gerbilly Silliness] Seven things about Freddie.

Since Katie over at .. Shouldn't it be Katie and Glogirly? Not the other way around? .. asked so nice..

Seven things about Freddie Gerbil.

1) Freddie and Fergie were biological brothers. They were just naughty, incestual, homosexual brothers. (I tried to stop them, Mr Kirk Cameron, I explained to them several times that you said such is "unnatural" .. but you know gerbils, just never listen!)

2) Freddie won't run on any wheel but the one that's in his cage at the moment. The wire wheel he just keeps tipping over and shoving against the door, the wheel at my parents place he yanks off and tries to eat, the plastic wheel before the one that's in there now was ingested.. overnight.

3) Freddie will chew ANYTHING. Bunny people think bunnies are bad.. but he can out speed nom a Speedy bunny! A toilet paper roll (empty) is gone in two minutes. A willow ball in about 45 seconds. A paper towel roll in about three minutes. I should give him a full toilet paper roll and see how long it takes him. He loves playing with them, but anything edible just doesn't last. I use him as my recycling shredder.

4) The only time Freddie will climb into my hand is if I have a pumpkin seed in it. Not even for a popped piece of popcorn will he.. he'll *step* onto it for popcorn, but not actually get all four feet onto my hand.

5) I stash food over all three levels off his cage so he has to run up and down the ramps. (Okay, sometimes he just climbs the sides.) He started picking it up and throwing it down rather than eating it in spot, so I started tying it in place. See #3 for how long ANYTHING lasts for holding the large chew pellets in place. He outsmarts me regularly.

6) Freddie is not scared of anything. Cats, dogs, neither of them bother him. (He, in fact, scared a friend's dog.) He did cheep at a bird and couldn't figure it out and so went on to ignore it, but other wise, he thinks carnivores are for taunting. (I'm not sure parrots count as carnivores anyway.)

7) Freddie is approaching his second birthday, I think. (I'm lousy with time and dates) Other than a touch of arthritis in the mornings, he's going strong.

Phew. Hope that pleases Katie. I'll try and keep Freddie from wiggling his tail at her.

Monday, November 5, 2012

[Remembrance Day] Respect, Remember, Appreciate.

Remembrance Day

He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.

Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.

And tho' sometimes to his neighbours
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew whereof he spoke.

But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For old Bob has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Soldier died today.

He won't be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.

He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
Tho' a Soldier died today.

When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state.
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.

Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young.
But the passing of a Soldier
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Someone who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?

Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?

The politician’s stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.

While the ordinary Soldier,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension - though small.

It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?

Or would you want a Soldier -
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Soldier,
Who would fight until the end?

He was just a common Soldier,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his like again.

For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Soldier's part,
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honour
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.

Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:

by A. Lawrence Vaincourt.