Thursday, July 12, 2012
[Bunny Fiction] Princess Bibi and the Impossible Apes.
Bibi awoke from her nap and looked around her cardboard castle before stretching her way out. There was little that was as enjoyable as a good stretch. First you dug in your front paws and then let the rear slide away before you dug those in too to telescope your back and stretch all the running muscles in case you had to get to treats in a hurry.
She hopped out with her usual grace and saw that the apes were apparently busy with other things. She supposed she would give them a little leeway on the delivery of her supper, but really, how hard was it after all? You open the magic cold box, you pull out a salad, you give it to the bunny. Apes had to make a big production of everything!
She went to her water bowl and gave it a sniff of disdain. She had specifically asked for Brecon Carreg bottled water, this smelled suspicious like tap. It was a scent that couldn't be hidden even after running through a filter. She sighed. It was time to put pooties on the shopping slave's pillow again. You really think they would learn.
She sat by her food bowl patiently for thirty-eight seconds and decided enough was enough. She'd waited for an eternity but she was hungry NOW. She hopped to the kitchen to find out what was keeping her dinner.
The female human ape had the black banana to her ear again. The apes used this to talk to each other. Bibi was pretty sure this was the silliest and most inefficient way they could have chosen. She listened for a few moments and while the female furless seemed to think this was an incredibly important matter, nothing was more important than a bunny's dinner!
She thumped and got told to "shush, Bibi." Well, this would not do!
Bibi hopped over to the wall and gave the female ape a warning look. The female ignored it and her. Really? Hadn't the female learnt by now the dangers of ignoring a Bibi when she wanted food and attention. Standing up on her hindlegs, Bibi nudged the black plastic banana's holder aside and saw the root within. Humans were forever hiding their roots. They were so selfish, they didn't like to share and got very upset if you ate one they were saving for later.
Bibi gave the human one last chance, but she'd turned her back and was looking out the window. Well, no one could say that Bibi hadn't been reasonable, patient and given plenty of chances. She opened her mouth and chomped down on the root -- hard. She then sat back down on all fours, back to the wall to wait for the human to realize it was supper time!
The female stopped talking and said a few words, then some more, and then looked at the black plastic banana in confusion. She pressed a few bleeping buttons and muttered to herself. Bibi thumped to remind her of her duties. The ape finally seemed to notice her. About time, that! The female came over and pushed some buttons on the holder. Oh for carrot's sake.. What did it take to get food around here??
The female ape found the chomped root after some searching and prodding. She looked down at Bibi and asked how the heck she'd managed it. Bibi said right back how didn't matter, why was the important thing.
But, as usual, the human wasn't listening. Instead of going to the magic cold box, she called for the male ape. The male ape was apparently watching tv with his eyes closed. Bibi wasn't quite sure how you watched much of anything with your eyes closed, but the male must like it because he did it often.
Bibi let out a long suffering sigh before moving to sit in front of the cold box. She had tried a few times before to get the silly thing open herself, but the door was too heavy to open even for the most determined bunny.
She had hope when the male showed up and looked at the chomped cord and shook his head. He came over to Bibi and tried to rub her nose, telling her she's a right clever boots, isn't she? Bibi knew she was but these apes were NOT. How direct did she have to be? Even ape flesh was starting to look tasty as her tummy hugged her backbone. She thumped. Twice, for good measure.
The male looked at her funny before returning to his bondmate and the broken root. Something about easy to fix. Bibi thumped again. Hello, starving bunny over here? The special roots weren't tasty or very filling, and trust you, me, Bibi had tried plenty of times in the past to make a meal out of some long ones!
Suddenly the ape clued in, asking his mate had she given Bibi her salad yet? The human put hand to her mouth and declared she'd been a bit busy. "Well, no wonder she's getting into mischief!" The ape declared as he strode over to the cold box and opened it.
'Mischief?' snorted Bibi. Oh, they hadn't seen mischief yet..
He pulled out various greens while Bibi tried to snatch them by periscoping up. "Oi, wait till I get it made you greedy rabbit."
Made? It was leaves and roots, how much 'making' could it possibly need? She sighed again, humans could make a big deal out of everything and anything.
She hopped back and forth at his feet while he mucked about. Really, he took forever with these things. Sixteen and a half eternities later he had her supper in a bowl. But, instead of putting it down at her feet he carried it all the way back to her warren. "Are you kidding me?" grumbled Bibi, she had to hop all the way back there? What was WITH these humans?!
Grumbling and muttering she hopped to go eat her dinner. The ape patted her on the head, "You need the exercise, old girl."
Did he just call her fat? Oh, someone was getting a peed on pillow AND pooties underneath. She stuck her nose in the salad. Damnit, humans were just so impossibly hard to train!