Friday, July 20, 2012
[Bunny/Cat Fiction] Salmon, Carrots and Pineapple, oh my!
Mr Mick was trying a new sleeping position when he heard the closet door open. He rolled off his back, where he'd been trying the 'dead possum float' and onto his front to see Weasley hop down the hall with the new friend he'd mentioned he was bringing.
Mr Mick bolted up onto all fours, ears flattened, growling. "THAT. IS. A. CAT."
Weasley blinked his clouded eyes a couple of times, nictitating membrane giving them a brief jewelled impression of clouded sparkle. "That explains the fish smell." The blind rabbit said amiably.
"Yes, I am a cat!" Katie sat down on her rear, wrapping tail around her paws in what she knew was her 'too cute to resist petting' pose.
"You brought a CAT into my house!" Mr Mick said with a thump. "After what they did to Speedy!"
"I didn't do anything to Speedy!" Katie protested, and then turned to Weasley, "What's a Speedy?"
Weasley sighed, "Speedy is a friend of ours who was attacked by a cat. He's okay now, but it was kinda scary for a while there."
"Oh." Katie groomed a paw and ignored the bristling bunny. "Well, *I* didn't do that!"
"Doesn't matter, you're a C-A-T!" Mickey retorted with stubborn illogic.
"Did you eat Mr Macgregor's carrots?" Katie asked, peering down at the lop.
"Carrots?" Weasley asked, perking up.
"See! Exactly. I don't know Speedy, you don't know Mr Mac, so why don't we just get over this silly speciesist stuff and just go find something to eat?"
"Carrots?" Weasley repeated.
"Sure. Well, you can have my share. Carrots. Blech." Katie offered generously.
Mr Mick looked thoughtful, "What do cats eat?" He then glared at her, "BESIDES cute helpless bunnies!"
Katie put a paw to her chest, "*I* would never eat a bunny. You'd require far too much work to catch, and clean, and cook and .. Blarg. No thank you. I'll stick to the easily found and prepared cans of food." She twitched her tail, "Besides, its very bad manners to eat anyone you know the name of."
Both rabbits tilted their heads at that before shaking the thought back out of their heads. "Right. Food." Mr Mick said, deciding that he'd just think of her as his poor, malformed, unintelligent cousin. Which, pretty much, was what cats were, he supposed. Well, the non-vicious, rabbit chasing ones. He was pretty sure though, any cat that missed a meal would pounce on an innocent bunny in a heart beat. Stinking Cats.
Mickey hopped past the cat to the kitchen, "I dunno what we have that's cat edible." He said, "Tho I think we have some carrots in the pantry. Mom thinks they're out of reach."
All three had a snicker at that. Humans, so gullible.
Unfortunately, there may have been some truth to the bunny proofing, there was a wire lip on the shelves. "May I?" Katie asked in her politest tones.
"Uh, sure." Weasley said, not sure what the fuss was about.
"Oh, surprise us." Mickey said, prepared to be unimpressed.
Katie eyed the shelves, triangulating with a paw and her tail before she backed up and took a mighty leap, grabbing the wire with her front paws, and skittering her back paws to get her up and over the proofing. "Ha!" She says.
"That wasn't a bad jump." Mr Mick admitted, "Though, I could jump farther." He added.
Katie rolled her eyes, grabbed the carrots by the icky green bits and tossed them at the rabbit. She was kind of disappointed when he managed to get out of the way and not be hit on the head.
"You guys want anything else up here? There's goldfish crackers, some pineapple bits -"
"Oh! Yes, some of that!" Weasley said and found Katie managed to lob a small plastic package to just in front of him. "Good aim!" he admired.
"Thank you," she said. "Lots of practice, really."
"Mmmf." Mr Mick grumbled, splitting up some carrots before looking up at the cat, "Can you catch these if I toss 'em up? Don't want the mom getting smart.."
"Smart humans." Katie snorted. "Riiight." She turned, "Sure, toss 'em!"
Mick grabbed the carrots by the greens and tossed them up at her. She had to bat at them before she could grab them and put them mostly back where she found them. "Oh hey, you like this leafy green stuff too, right?"
"Yes please!" Weasley said. There wasn't much in the world that could be classified as both leafy and green that he didn't like.
Katie yanked out some of the stalks with their leaves, trying not to make a face at the taste as she tossed them over and down.
Mickey decided he should probably be nice to the cat, since they probably wouldn't have managed this raid without her. "What brings you here anyway?"
Katie sniffed, putting nose in the air. "My humom went out for dinner and didn't bring me any salmon home!"
The two rabbits blinked at each other. Well, Weasley blinked in Mr Mick's direction, anyway. "You like salmon?"
"Its one of my favourite fish!" she answered.
"I think we have some.." Mr Mick said, thinking. "Just have to remember which cupboard.." He looked up at the cat, "We've got enough, you can come down."
"Right-o." Katie said, bum wiggling before she pounced down onto the ground with an impressive thud. All three listened carefully to make sure any humans about didn't come investigate.
Hearing the coast was clear, Mick hopped to the cupboards on the far side of the kitchen and grabbed a door with his teeth, back pedaling to open it.
"Oooh. I wish I had your teeth!" Katie said, licking her's. Imagine how many things she could get into if she could grab properly!
"Well, claws do seem handy." Mr Mick offered reluctantly.
She padded over to see what was revealed.
"Here!" Mr Mick grabbed a wooden box with some sort of red and black fish on it, sniffing it. "I'm not sure if its any good tho, it says its been smoked."
"Smells good!" Katie said. She pawed at the box, "Uh, how do you open this thing?" She tilted her head one way and then the other. It didn't look like it needed a can opener -- which was probably a good thing since none of them had thumbs.
"Dunno." Mr Mick grabbed the box once more and hauled it over to Weasley, "Start working on getting into that," he told his buddy before hopping back to close the cupboard.
Katie wandered to watch Weasley's teeth make short work of the cedar. He then coughed and spluttered. "Gah! Flesh!" and backed up quick to grab a chunk of dried pineapple to get the taste out of his mouth.
Katie stuck her nose in the hole and purred loudly and happily, withdrawing head to replace it with paw to dig out a pile of salmon. "YUM!" She said, "Thank you, Mr Mickey." She said politely, giving the bunny a lick.
"GAH! Cat cooties!" Mr Mick protested as the sandpaper tongue grabbed at his fur.
"I do NOT have cooties!" Katie protested, "My humom gives me a pill to prevent cooties, thankyouverymuch."
"Sure. Whatever. Can we eat now?" Mickey asked.
Weasley looked up from where he'd been nomming on the parsley, "Er, sure?"
Mickey sighed the sigh of a very hard done bunny and decided he better dig in before Weasley got his fair share. Food tug of war was one of the best bunny games ever.
Katie flomped on her side having made her way through a pile of salmon half the size of her head. "Ohhh, I think I'm going to food coma for a week."
Weasley flomped on her other side, "That sounds good."
Mr Mick rolled his eyes at the flopping amateurs. He sighed and fell over onto his side with an impressive thump. He was the lop flopping champion.
"We should put the box back." He mumbled, not wanting to move.
"Mmurgh." Katie agreed with him, tail tip twitching, the rest of her not moving.
Weasley snorted, "Allow me." The other two watched with some amazement as the blind bunny grabbed the box and hauled it back to the right cupboard, got the cupboard open and shoved the box back in. He turned back to them, "I'm blind, not deaf and stupid!"
"Oh, so you're not a dog." Katie said.
Mick sniggered and then coughed. "Well.. I guess you're not so bad for a cat." He relented.
"Thank you," Katie replied primly. She thought she was pretty darn awesome for a cat, but she wasn't about to poke the being that had given her the salmon she'd been owed.
A car door slammed.
"Dangit! The Boy is home. Run for it!" Mr Mick scrambled on the kitchen floor before gaining traction and made a bee line for his enclosure.
Weasley darted past Katie, knowing Mick's home almost as well as he knew his own. "C'mon, closet!"
Katie bounded after him and helped him open and then close the closet door behind him. "How's this thing work, anyway?"
"You close the door, turn around a couple times and think of the bunny or place you need to be. But the bigger the closet the less accurate it is." Weasley explained as he quickly turned in place, nudging Katie with his nose to follow suit. The way in she'd humoured him, this time she took it a bit more seriously.
Weasley sniffed at the door once they stopped turning, "Smells like your home."
Katie took her own sniff, "It does too! Home with a lack of salmon. Hmph." She pushed open the closet door. "Hey, Weasley.. Thanks for inviting me out and the cheer up. I do feel better!"
Weasley smiled as much as a bunny could, "Always a pleasure to help a damsel in distress!" and pulled the closet door closed.
"What's a damsel?" The tuxedo cat wondered. She supposed she'd just have to Google it later .. if her Mom ever got off the computer, that is!