Wednesday, August 8, 2012

[Doggie & Bunny Fiction] Helping with the laundry.

(Sorry! I couldn't resist this photo of Hef of the Bunny Lounge and .. Big B, I think.)

Little B yawned and rolled over. "Was Momma talkin'?"

Shadow rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to pay attention to the humans!"

"Why?" Asked Little Bandit.

"Yeah, why?" asked Hef.

"They have the treats!" Carrot said.

"That's a good reason, but not THE reason." Shadow said with a long suffering sigh. Really, rabbits and puppies, was this what she had to live with?

"Well, what's THE reason then Oh Old Woman of Wisdom?" Hef asked with no little disdain and sarcasm.

Shadow gave a mock snap in his general direction. "You're outnumbered three females to one, do you REALLY want to get in a pissing contest little snack?"

"'Specially with a lady whose bladder is about the same size as you!" Little B pointed out. She couldn't help it, the bitches had to stick together!

"HMPH!" Hef turned tail and showed them his butt as he decided grooming his whiskers was very important.

"No," Shadow continued, "The reason is love."

She got three sets of eyes staring at her before Hef remembered he was giving the big black dog The Butt.

"Love?" Carrot asked.

"We love the humans so we listen to the humans and we obey the humans and we love them back." Shadow said simply. 

Carrot and Hef exchanged a look before both of them fell over busting a gut laughing, Hef rolling around on the couch, while Carrot almost fell off the arm chair.

Shadow grow-grumbled as she flomped onto her stomach. Rabbits! No respect.

Little B padded over to give Shadow a lick. "I think you're crazy, but I agree. Well, about the love stuff. And obeying. I dunno about listening to them ALL the time though, they get kinda boring."

Shadow sighed. "Anyway." she said, talking over the bunny giggles and guffaws that were continuing unabated, "To answer your question, yes, Momma was talking. She asked you to do the laundry."

Little Bandit sat back on her haunches, astonished. 

"Hee hee, listen and obey!" Hef said, setting off a whole new peel of laughter. Shadow's ears flicked around while she pretended to ignore the rabbits.

"How do you do that?" Little B asked.

"I don't know. Something to do with taking the clothes from the pile on the floor, muttering about 'men' and then shoving them in the basket in the bathroom, then dragging that down to the whirly-water-noisey-vibrating machine and shoving them in there with the sickly-sweet liquid stuff that tastes worse than blue toilet water, and close the top and hit some buttons." Shadow couldn't say she'd paid much attention.

"That doesn't sound too hard." Little Bandit decided and got up to trot off to the bedroom, ignoring all barriers that should have stopped her.

"Er." Shadow wasn't quite sure this could possibly end well.

There was all sorts of noises from the bedroom, Shadow put her front paws over her nose while Carrot hopped over to Hef's couch to shove him with her nose and say "Love!" and he'd giggle and shove her with his nose and say "Obey!" and then howl some more. Shadow wondered why she bothered.

Little Bandit reappeared dragging the basket behind her with her teeth, tail wagging madly as she went through the room, barely missing some knick-knacks. The sound of her going through the house was easily followed, thump, scrape, squoooosh, thump, bump, thump, "Ow!"

Shadow sighed and got to her feet and padded off to find out what her much younger (and quite adopted, thankyouverymuch) sister had done now.  Appearing in the laundry room, she found Little B sitting in a half-overturned basket, with a pair of Daddy's under shorts half on her head, looking quite guilty cat like. "I thought if I stood on the basket I could get up on the machiney thing and put the clothes in without having to jump."

Shadow sighed again. "How well did laziness work for you?"

Little B hung her head. "Not very well. Work works better." She repeated the well known canine saying.

"Exactly. Now get up there and I'll toss the clothes to you. But I insist this is still a bad idea!"

"But Momma ASKED *ME* to do this!" Little B said, looking very sad faced at her older sis.

"I don't think she was serious.." Shadow muttered, giving B a nose up as the german shepherd scrambled at the dryer. "Because if she was, she'd have asked Dadda first, it could only be safer.."

"HA! Dad would blow up a fondo pot before it was warmed!" Little B protested.

The black dog had to admit she was a bit surprised by Little B's having heard THAT story.. and decided to change the subject by starting to throw up the clothes. Fortunately for B, Momma had left the lid open so no wrestling was required.

"GAH!" Little B spat out an item of clothing into the washer. "What in a flat cat's mouth was THAT?"

Shadow hang out her own tongue and scrapped her paws along her tongue, "Dadda's.. and best not to ask."

"GAH!" Little B repeated, shaking her head to a jingle of collar and licenses. Shadow's next throw hit her in the side and she had to be nimble to grab it in her teeth. "Why does Momma have all these frilly lacey things? She never wears them!"

"She's gotta, I don't think she'd just wash them every week for no reason.." Shadow offered doubtfully.

Little B dropped it in with the rest, the white bra landing on one of "Dadda's" red shirts. "Humans do lots of things for no reason."

Shadow shrugged and tossed up the last of the clothes, a balled pair of socks that must have been momma's because they didn't make her nose try to curl up inside her head. Little B caught them in her mouth before dropping them in the washer.

The german shepherd turned on her tail to reach up to the shelf to get the jug. "Vis Shtuff?" she asked around it.

"Yeah, the light grey one!" Shadow agreed.

Little B carefully put it on the dryer between her front paws and had to dig in her teeth to twist the top off. "Glarrrrgh!" She moaned, "That's HORRIBLE." she wiped her tongue on the dryer, on the outside of the jug, on her legs, and then again on the dryer. "That's almost as bad as Dadda's unmentioneds!"

Shadow shuddered. She'd accidentally tasted that stuff once before too. Blech. No thank you! She'd rather eat hay than have that taste in her mouth again!

Little B grabbed the jug by the handle and poured some in the washer. "Howf musch?"

"Dunno, that much?" Shadow offered after a few moments.

Little Bandit put the jug back down and eyed the cap with a sigh before she carefully picked it up and put it on the jug before putting said jug back up on the shelf. No way was she turning that cap and risking that taste again!

Knocking the lid of the washer down was easy, though the resounding crash made both dogs jump. Little B eyed the buttons and dials and batted at a few with her paws, nosed a few others and then scratched at the dial again. Finally the machine kicked in, starting the sounds of water dumping in. "Yay!"  Little B jumped off the washer and onto the ground to prance around in a circle! "I helpeded Momma! I did the laundry!" She was momentary distracted by her tail and had to do a quick tail chase before wondering if she should be seeing those little white bubbles already.

Shadow was eyeing the washing machine herself. "You know, if we get out of here before anything goes wrong, its not our fault."

"Its the Dadda's fault, right?" Little B said, backing away from the machine that was making an odd gurgling sound.


The two dogs spun on spot and dashed back through the house to the living room where the rabbits were apparently all worn out from the gigglefest and snoozing.

"How come nothin's ever THEIR fault?" Little B asked.

"Because they're small, cute, and helpless." Shadow said with an almost teenage eyeroll.

"Since when?!" Little B demanded. 

Shadow sighed and lay down.

"Really! When did they become helpless?" Little B asked, nudging Shadow with her nose.

Shadow let out a long sigh and closed her eyes.

"Shaaadow!! When did .." she stopped as she heard her Momma come in from the yard.

"What's all that noise?" She asked as she came in.

Little B immediately lay down beside Shadow and tried to put on the best "halo look" she had. 

The human glanced at the animals, with a frown and then headed off to find the source of the strange noises..

* * *

Disclaimer : The Momma would never ACTUALLY leave dogs alone with bunnies. But in story time land, its all good and safe. Well, until The Momma discovers what's been done to her washing machine.. and clothes .. :)


  1. Ask and ye shall recieve...although they probably did do a better job than their dad. ;)

  2. but were the dogs smart enough to take the stuff out of the pockets?and bunnehs are smart enough to leave the work to us