Thursday, July 16, 2015

[WoW Fanfiction] Tanla in Paradise.

Tanla Crystalsong was in paradise. Or about as close you could get to in Azeroth. She was lying on a hammock, that was gently swaying in the breeze, she had sunglasses, she had a nice swimsuit, her drink was fruity and alcoholic, and best of all the air was warm and the sun was shining.

It was a goblin run resort, which basically meant if you had money, you could stay. They were very subservient to good tippers. Thanks to her own efforts and her ex-probably-dead-husband, she had money galore. She could pretty much spend the rest of her life on this island in the south seas. She had her own house-hut, comfortable enough even if it wasn't her tower. The goblins didn't mind if her experiments occasionally exploded as long as she paid for any damage done. One goblin had even come to take notes about one spectacular mishap, hoping to replicate it for some bizarre invention.

"Excuse me, madam." One of the goblin servers said after a polite cough.

Tanla opened her eyes and turned to look at him. He didn't have his usual tray. "Yes Kainkle?" It was important to learn the lackey's names, that with gold insured excellent service.

"We have a slight problem that we hopin' a mage of your calibre could possibly help us with?" He looked nervous. It was never a good thing when a goblin looked nervous; massive explosions, chaos and destruction generally rained down shortly there after.

"It's possible." Tanla replied, sitting up. She finished off her drink with a large swig and swung around so she was sitting on the hammock, feet on the ground.

"Wonderful! You see, we're havin' a slight problem with a sea giant."

"A sea giant?" Tanla echoed. It was a long way from home.

"Yes, apparently a neighbouring resort decided to send us a present. Very nice of 'em and all, but he's demolished the steam rooms and is heading towards the stables, we were hopin' for some help from you. In exchange, we could offer you a complimentary stay for say .. a week?" He winced at the word complimentary. Must be bleeding the little guy to give anything away.

"While normally I'd argue for a month's free stay, you guys have been really good to me and treated me like a princess. The least I can do is take care of a sea giant for you!" Tanla got off the hammock, grabbed a small pack, and started towards the stables. "I cleared a few of those out of Booty Bay."

"Er, would you like your robes, madam?" Kainkle asked, scurrying to catch up with her.

"Nah. Won't need 'em."  She did, however, reach into her pack and pull out her staff. It gleamed in the sunlight, seeming eager for battle.

Kainkle looked at her dumbfounded at her pulling a very large staff out of a rather small pack.

"Magic." Tanla told him with a wink.

"Yes, madam." He managed.

Tanla strode north-east until she could hear the sounds of destruction. Horses and other creatures were making a racket, the sea giant was roaring, the goblins were firing guns and throwing dynamite, it sounded like chaos complete. Tanla almost missed the challenge of battle; almost.

Coming into sight of the monstrosity, she looked up. "Well." she managed. It was a very large giant and it was wearing dwarven made armour. It's club looked like it had been made out of ironwood and then runed into the next life. It didn't look like there was a single piece of its surface that was uncovered.   Her bartender was, at the moment, loading a rocket launcher. She supposed she better help rather than open a portal to Silvermoon and go shopping.

"Oi! Ugly!" She shouted.

The giant ignored her.

"Oh, that's it." She summoned arcane energy and hurled it at the giant's head. "HEY! YOU!"

The giant roared as the energy knocked him off balance. He turned to look down at the mage in a bathing suit and wearing sunglasses. He leaned down and roared at her.

The reward for his roar was a blast of magic right down is throat.

The giant made a most interesting noise and wavered around, holding his throat and almost crying.

"Are we killing or capturing, Kainkle?" She asked the server. He wasn't quite hiding behind her, curled up in a ball.

"Uh.. We don't have nowhere to keep it." Kainkle managed. Apparently stress was removing his normal snotty server speak and sending him back to goblin.

"Death it is." She said with a happy smile. She'd have chosen cake.

The giant was still being peppered with bullets when a huge rocket his knee. The giant roared again and started hopping around. Tanla fired several bolts of arcane energy at him, causing him to get even more off balance, and he crashed over. Unfortunately, he landed on the stables. It didn't look like any of the creatures housed there were squished. Hopefully they'd all escaped.

The giant was thrashing around as goblins with pitchforks, spears and shovels were starting in. "One moment!" Tanla called, gathering energy from the ether. She was gathering a lot. Almost near her full capacity of control. She then released it, sending it hurling towards the giant in two massive bursts, both sending him up into the sky, to land again with sick thuds, energy buzzing and snapping all around the now rather fried, and quite dead, giant.

The goblins all turned to stare at her.

"Well, I didn't want anyone getting hurt." It might inconvenience her. She was booked for a massage later, after all.

The goblins thanked her profuseley, some of them might even be sincere, but she managed to weedle two weeks free out of them. Tips not included, of course.

Tanla waved to the resort staff who were now trying to figure out what to do with a very dead giant. They'd probably smelt the armour, cut the giant up to bits to sell said bits, and claim the weapon was some ancient artifact and charge people to view it. The little green guys were creative that way.

A short walk and she was back in her hammock, enjoying the breeze and wondering how long it'd take before Kainkle came by with something alcoholic and fruity.

1 comment: