Monday, November 18, 2013
[Rabbit Stories] Mr Mick, the Doctor.. JUST A RABBIT?!
Mr Mick gave the door of the TARDIS a good thump. It was opened shortly there after by Martha. "Oh, Mickey! Welcome back!"
"HMPH!" said the indignant lop as he hopped past her and into the control room and sat up on his hind paws and glared at the Doctor.
"Look, I know what you're going to say.." He stood, straightening his tie. "And there's a very simple explanation.."
"JUST a rabbit?!" Mickey growled. "JUST A RABBIT?!"
"Well, you see.." The Doctor coughed, "The human recording devices don't pick up the rabbit's end of the conversation. You missed out on it entirely. He was threatening me the little bu.. er, fuzzy bottom. Then I realized how it all must sound to the watchers!"
"Tell me another one." Mickey said with a 'hmph,' settling back down to all fours.
"There I was, running along, and I pass Mr Floppy Ears. Oh, I don't know his real name, he didn't bother to tell me THAT."
The Doctor pulled up the archive footage of him running through a forest. When the bunny appeared, he put on a bad fake rabbit voice. "You! STOP! I am your destroyer."
Back to his normal voice, "So I, like the reasonable person I am, I stopped and explained why this wasn't a wise path for him to hop." The video played through 'Whatever you have planned, forget it. I'm the Doctor, I'm nine hundred and four years old, I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am the oncoming storm, the bringer of darkness.."
The video paused, "And that's about when I realized I had an audience and I must look like a right fool, so to throw them off track, I added the next bit, y'know, the just a rabbit part. It was for your own good too, y'know! You don't want every Tom, Dick and Mary knowing about you and your real rabbity ways, do you?"
"If it's any conciliation, he told me about that point he was digging my grave and asked if I wanted anything special at my funeral."
"Good." Mr Mick replied grumpily. The buff coloured rabbit looked thoughtful for a moment, "Do you?"
"Not really, just a big bonfire." The Doctor replied.
"Tell 'em about the socks." Martha interjected helpfully.
"OH! YES! The Socks! THE SOCKS, Mickey!" The Doctor held up his pant legs to show a pair of socks with several nibble holes. "They ALL look like this. A wardrobe the size of a small moon and somebuns managed to gnaw holes in them all!"
"Good." Mr Mick said with more satisfaction.
"I'm scared to take off my shoes!" The Doctor protested, waving his hands about.
"Even better." Mickey sniffed, "You SHOULD be. Just a rabbit. Hmph." Mr Mick turned on his tail and hopped towards the door, stopping in front of Martha, "You keep an eye on him." He looked over his shoulder. "JUST A RABBIT." He grumped again. Hop, foot flick, foot flick, hop.
He exited the TARDIS and stopped to give the blue wood a quick lick. "Sorry about the thumping. That wasn't very nice of me. It's not YOUR fault.." He paused and raised his voice, "THAT YOUR DOCTOR IS A BIG JERK."
"NOT A JERK! Protecting rabbit kind!" Came the reply.
"Foo' Doctor." Mr Mick muttered as he hopped his way home. "Just a rabbit. Really."