[Commission] [Muppets] [Rabbits] Buns in spaaaaaace...!

When last we saw our intrepid adventures of the Swinetrek they were following a distress signal of the planet Bluesauce IV that they'd been sent to investigate. Upon landing on the planet in their shuttle, they found the occupants of the ship that naught but bones and clothes and the ship entwined in plant life.

When discovering the crew they were there to rescue  has passed away of old age, Captain Hogthrob had laughed and declared "Sometimes bureaucracy is slow!"

But the greenery had the last laugh when they'd then found that their own ship had been encased with vines and bushes and they couldn't take off either!

"We could have watched the grass grow!" complained Doctor Strangepork

Starring the ever handsome and charming Captain Hogthrob! The wacky scientist who is a swine version of Les Nesmond! And the beautiful, talented and smarter than half the universe combined, First Mate Miss Piggy!

And now, our adventure continues!

* * *

"That's too much for even Miss Piggy to eat through!" Captain Hogthrob declared with a big, goofy, grin. He made sure the sun caught the golden highlights of his hair. The sun was a little redder than Earth's, but he'd just make do. The captain gestured at the bushes and vines that seemed to have grown from nothing in the span of minutes. Little blueberries and raspberries were happily growing throughout.

"I'm sure she'd give it a good try though!" agreed Dr. Strangepork. The little scientist looked like he'd come the wrong way out of a clothes dryer.

"Hold up!" Miss Piggy said, fists on hips. "I don't care what the script says, the fat jokes weren't funny in the late 70s and they're even less funny now!"

"Aren't you being a little .. Oversensitive?" The Captain asked with a light nudge to Piggy's ribs.

"NO! And the sexism has got to go, too!" She whirled on Dr. Strangepork. "And YOU! I outrank you, try showing some respect once in a while or I'll toss you out the torpedo tubes!"

"Er yes, Mis.. Ma'am." Dr. Strangepork stammered. He didn't dare point out the torpedo tubes were as clogged and covered in vegetation as the rest of the ship.

"Read some sensitivity training once in a while *Captain*. Women are people, not props!" Miss Piggy glared at him, "Or do I have to shove you in the tubes with Dr. Strangepork here?"

"Nono, that's okay." He made a weak patting motion to her shoulder while Miss Piggy's eyes narrowed with a warning.  The Captain coughed, "Er, should we get back on track?"

"Oh. Right." Miss Piggy cleared her throat and tossed a lock of hair over her shoulder. "Captain, this obviously calls for an intervention from experts! We should use the portable wormhole generator to get some staff in here!"

"Is that a good idea Miss .. Uh, First Mate Piggy?" Dr. Strangepork asked. "The last time we used it, we ended up summoning a zombie t-rex that promptly tried to eat half of New Brooklyn!"

"Well, this time summon something far less carnivorous and far more weed killery!" Miss Piggy snapped at him.

Dr. Strangepork looked to his captain pleadingly.

"I think Miss First Mate is on the right track here!" The Captain said.  "Don't summon any dinosaurs! Especially not on fire zombie ones!"

"It wasn't on fire until you lit it on fire!" The doctor protested.

"That is hardly a matter for a Captain's concern." sniffed Captain Hogthrob. "Flammable objects are entirely within the purview of science!" The fact was, Captain Hogthrob just liked opportunities to use fancy words like 'purview.'

"Oh, brother." Muttered Miss Piggy and helped Dr. Strangepork drag the door with 'wormhole generator' written across the top of it. Otherwise, it looked pretty much like a standard interior house closet door.  Dr. Strangepork pulled out a marker and wrote 'No zombies or dinosaurs allowed through' before he propped it up against the bushes. He then held up a small box and pointed it at the door. The box went bing. Dr. Strangepork leaned forward and opened the door.

Two domestic rabbits came ass over tea kettle out of the door and into the overly long grass. One was a healthy sized white rabbit with pink eyes and the other a pirate bunny of white fur, brown splotch, and brown ears.  The latter was wearing a very nice baby blue scarf.

The all-white bunny scrambled to her feet and let out a healthy thump. "Who kidnapped our rabbit tunnel? We were supposed to be going to a hockey game!"

The brown splotched bunny stood up on his hind legs and periscoped around. "This doesn't look much like a hockey arena."

Miss Lola sighed, "So who are you and why'd you kidnap us so rudely?" She looked from pig to pig.

"Well, you beautiful rabbit you," Captain Hogthrob started as First Mate Piggy rolled her eyes and muttered an 'oh brother' again. The Captain chose to ignore her, "I am Captain Hogthrob and this is my beloved crew of the good ship Swinetrek. You see we're having a bit of a problem with our ship." He pointed to the mess of vegetation. "And we would humbly request your assistance with the matter!"

Miss Lola and Speedy shared a glance before Miss Lola snorted. "And what do you want us to do about it? Call a landscaper?"

"You ARE the landscapers!" Dr. Strangepork butted in.

Captain Hogthrob glared at Dr. Strangepork, he'd interrupted the important buttering up!

Another look between the rabbits. "You have got to be kidding me. I'm a supervisor, not a worker." Miss Lola yawned and got comfy. "I suppose I could tell you how to free your ship though."

"It's the least we could do." Speedy agreed, sitting back on his haunches.

The pigs looked at the rabbits expectantly. The rabbits looked back.

"Oh for the love of --" Miss Piggy didn't quite shout and threw her hands up in the air. "How do we free our ship?"

"You pick all the berries." Miss Lola said like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"And put them through the door,"  Speedy added with a sage nod.

"That's a lot of berries." Miss Piggy muttered looking over at the bushes.

"Well, we can help you with a few, but we can't reach most of them, right Speedy?" Miss Lola said primly.

"Right!" Speedy agreed. "So you better get hopping!"

"Oi, watch the puns, rabbit!" Miss Piggy warned and started towards the ship while the Dr. Strangepork and Captain Hogthrob stood and watched. She turned and marched back. "You two coming?"

"I wouldn't want to injure my hands!" Dr. Strangepork added, waving his gloved fingers.

"Besides, it's woman's work!" the captain protested.

"WOMAN'S WORK?" Both rabbits backed up away from Miss Piggy quickly to get out of fall out range.  Miss Piggy lashed out, grabbing the captain's ear in one hand and the science officer's ear in the other. "Listen you two, I'll show you woman's work. It's putting up with male crap no longer and you're going to help me pick berries and get the ship back or I'll report you both to the admiral for dereliction of duty! And you both know I know Admiral Frog PERSONALLY. So get marching!"

With a mix of 'ows' and protests, the two males followed in Miss Piggy's wake. The first officer finally let go of their ears when they got to the bushes. "GET PICKING."

Miss Lola flopped down into the long grass, Speedy flopping beside her. It was a nice sunny day and this was as good a place for a nap as any. Miss Lola shuffled over to use Speedy's back as a pillow. "Do you think we should help?" Speedy asked.

"Nah. They kidnapped us. They can do the work." She let out a yawn.

The sun had moved significantly by the time they woke up to an irritated First Mate Piggy standing over them. "Now what?" she asked tersely.

Miss Lola and Speedy got up with a stretch and meandered over the portal door. Miss Lola stuck her head in and looked around, "Yup, that looks about right.  Speedy?"

Speedy hopped over. "Perfect!" He then dashed into the portal.

"Good luck!" Miss Lola said and followed him, yanking the door closed behind her.

The three crew members of the Swinetrek stood and stared at the door.

* * *

Speedy and Miss Lola looked at the very large pile of berries. "Even if I take half I think that's a lot to eat," Speedy said, eyeing from one direction and then the other.

"We could throw a berry party, I guess." Miss Lola said doubtfully.

"Or share with the humans," Speedy suggested.

Miss Lola sighed. "I guess we can give some to the Viking and shove the rest in the freezer."

* * *

"When will they come back, do you think?" Asked Captain Hogthrob.

"I need a transfer." Muttered First Mate Piggy. "To a nice quiet warship."