Friday, August 24, 2018

[WoW Fanfiction] You don't want to know where else the mud is.


“Maurata, what are we even doing here?” Rhasody asked as she got tired of standing on a hillock in the middle of a Bloodtroll infested swamp. If the chance of being mobbed by trolls wasn’t enough, the place had a thousand bugs that could bite through fur, smelled like something a year dead and occasionally had a weird howling yelp that sounded and she was pretty sure she didn’t want to meet the originator of the noise.

“Looking for new ingredients to make yummy things with.” Maurata replied patiently. She was crouched over a green, leafed thing, that looked like all the other green, leafed, things. She felt like she’d explained this a few times. It wasn’t like Rhas had to come!

“You said that an hour ago, we’ve been here for an hour while you look at the same plants over and over.” Rhasody griped. Not quite true, Maurata had moved at least seven steps from one clump of plants to another.

Maurata sighed and rolled her eyes, “Flit’s having fun!” she gestured towards Rhasody’s pet mana ray.

Flit was diving in and out of the swamp water and making happy chirping noises. It had been a long time since he’d been in a swamp so similar to his home. The little swamp bath that Maurata had made him in their home was nice, but it didn’t compare.

“Yes, I’m trying not to think of the smell.” Rhasody grumbled. Bathing a mana ray who thought splashing and flying was a great combination left a lot to be desired.

“Oh lighten up.” Maurata teased, standing up to tweak Rhas’ ear. “Here we are, brave new world --”

“Horrible carnivorous new monsters.” muttered Rhasody.

“-- pretty new scenery, nice new friends --” continued Maurata, ignoring the hunter.

“Who only probably want to eat us.” grumbled Rhasody.

“-- all sorts of yummy new foods and ingredients --”

“That are probably poisonous.”

“-- And new healers to learn from!” Maurata finished, facing her lover,  hands on her hips attempting to look fierce.

“Okay, I’ll give you that one. Though, their druid forms are just weird.”

“Oh for biscuit’s sake!” Mauratasaid, exasperated. “You complain buckets have holes!”

Rhasody blinked at that, even Flit stopped mid-dive to chirp at her. Neither Pandaren were quite sure how smart the mana ray was.  “Uhm..”

“IN THE TOP! THE BUCKET IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A HOLE!” Maurata threw her hands up. Flit chirred at her.

“Are you okay?” Rhasody asked.

Maurata ran a hand through her hair. “Fine.. fine.. Let’s go find a local expert. You’re right, all these plans are very similar.”

Rhasody had the good grace not to smirk. As the two women turned to walk back to the camp of Tortollan they’d passed earlier she lightly elbowed Maurata in the ribs. “I didn’t even get to complain about the mud between my toes.”

“It is kind of gross.” Maurata agreed.

“Its MOVING. Even when I’m standing still, the mud MOVES.” Rhasody griped good naturedly. “And I bet if we asked one of the Zandalari about it, they’d be all like ‘The loa move in mysterious ways, mon.”

Maurata shook her head, “I think you’re confusing a Lorekeeper with a Troll.”

“Nono, one has soothing tea the other has “mystic” tea.” Rhasody even made the air quotes.

Maurate snickered. “I know a sourpuss who could use a little mystic tea.”

Rhasody looked at her with wide-eyed innocence. “Flit! Do you need mystic tea?” she asked her pet.

Flit flitted over and accepted a head scritch from Rhasody with a chirring-purr.

“I think he’s fine.” Rhasody said with a smile.

“You’re impossible!” Maurata declared as they scrambled over some fallen bricks to gain entrance to the camp. Sure, they could have gone around, but there was more mud that way.

“No, just improbable.” Rhasody corrected. She made a beeline for the nearest bench and started scraping mud off her feet. “So what’s for dinner?”

“What’s for..” Maurata threw her hands up in the air.

The next thing Rhasody knew was that she had a ball of water explode against her shoulder and splash up into her face. “What the..?” She looked up to see the water shaman, healer extraordinaire, readying another globe of water.

“Bitch and complain all day, insist on following me on the ingredient hunt anyway, and then ask me what I’m cooking you for dinner?!” She threw the ball with another splash.

Rhasody spluttered. “You don’t like my cooking!”

“You think two ingredient recipes are good ideas!” Another ball of water, another splash.

Rhasody gurgled and shook her head, sending water spray from her fur. “It was ONE TIME!” she defended herself as the Tortollan looked on with amusement. Obviously a story in the making. “And we were UNDER FIRE by some very angry ogres!”

“That’s no excuse for bad food!” Maurata replied, throwing two balls of water. "Spices aren't optional!" Splash, splash.

“Oh that’s it!” Rhasody declared, grabbing a nearby bucket. “I’ll replace this.” she told the nearest Tortollan who just blinked slowly at her. She then threw the contents in a geat arc straight towards Maurata.

Maurata was no one’s fool and she dodged to one side and redirected the stream of water.

“Oh shit.” Rhasody said.

Maurata turned and saw where the water had gone -- face first into a rather irritated looking Draenei. She took a step back, “Er..” She didn’t really want to join the battles between Horde and Alliance that both Panderan had been avoiding.

The Draenei looked down at her soaking wet self. Her eyes narrowed as Rhasody dashed across the clearing and grabbed Maurata’s hand. “Run.”

Maurata didn’t feel like arguing since the Draenei was making some very sweeping gestures and she could feel the elements starting to answer the dripping woman.

The two had made it perhaps half a dozen steps before a large pool of water formed overhead and a deluge of rain opened over their heads and half-drowned them both.

“Ha!” said the Draenei who then turned on her hoof and squelched off, tail lashing. She muttered in common, probably very impolite things about playful pandaren and innocent bystanders.

Rhasody sneezed.

Maurata attempted to wring out her shirt.

“So. Dinner?” Rhasody asked.

Maurata smacked the back of Rhas’ head.



No comments:

Post a Comment