Saturday, November 15, 2014

[Bunny Pirate Fiction] The Rum Rabbits epilogue.

It was a nice breeze that came up off the ocean to caress her as she rocked gently in the hammock. A fruity rum drink in one hand, a book in the other, it was pretty much Ren's idea of happy vacation land. Blonde hair had been ruthlessly dragged into a ponytail so she could read without it attacking her every twenty seconds. Even stretched out, there was room for bunnies to relax at her feet. There'd been a stern talking about not nibbling on the ropes of the hammock. Their answer had been to dump a bunch of hay on her blankets to lie in and nibble on. Considering rabbit inguinity at the best of times, Ren was willing to put up with this compromise, even if it did leave her picking bits of hay off herself for a week.

Her crew were also strewn about the small island, taking advantage of it being off-season for travel and shipping to take over the depot and tavern. The residents would be having to make a lot more rum before the season began, Ren was pretty sure between her two foot and four foot crew, they'd drink the place dry by the end of the week.. maybe ten days. She hadn't quite decided how long they were staying - there was something delightfully entertaining about watching drunk rabbits trying to hop across sand.

A shadow fell across her book and she looked up to see a very unhappy countenance on Captain Jack Sparrow's face. "YOU SHOT ME." He said instead of a perfectly polite greeting.

"You had it coming, mate." Ren said calmly, looking back down at her book, his shadow making it hard to read the cramped script.

"I bloody well did not!" Jack said, snatching her book. "YOU SHOT ME." He repeated. She managed to keep the novel out of his hands.

"Actually," Ren said, pulling herself into a sitting position, putting book down by her knee.. The rabbits grunted at the disruption of their naps. "You shot yourself with my gun."

"And ruined me best shirt!" He continued as if she hadn't spoken. The wind was making the beads of his hair clack together, giving an almost musical background to the conversation.

"You have a best shirt?" Ren asked, tilting her head to one side to study the swarthy pirate captain. "That would indicate you own more than one." She reached forward as if to move his vest to see if his shirt had a hole in it.

He jerked back, "None of that! You don't treat a man right after you get his clothes off." He sniffed and turned his head towards the sky as if he were some delicate maiden offended.

Ren rolled her eyes, more than used to Jack's dramatics. "What do you want?"

"Satisfaction." He replied with a nod.

Ren raised an eyebrow, "No brothel on the island, you're a bit out of luck, mate."

He leaned close to her, smelling of leather and sweat, mouth close to her own, "Am I?" he asked quietly.

"Er." Ren managed right before a small white blur launched between them.

"ARGH!" Captain Jack Sparrow spluttered as a rabbit landed on his shoulder to take his ear between two surprisingly sharp and strong teeth. Dark splotches on his fur, loppy ears, and fire burning in his eyes, the rabbit looked most unimpressed with the Captain of the Black Pearl's antics.

"Oh, you haven't met Don Pedro?" Ren asked with a bit too much pepper to her innocent tone. "He's a bit protective."

"I see." Captain Jack looked out of the corner of his eyes at the rabbit. "And how does one get a less protective mode?"

"You could try asking." Ren said with a smile.

"Right then." Jack cleared his throat, "How do you feel about hats?" He asked. He'd managed to find a new one since Ren had stolen the last one. Perhaps he now kept a store of them on his ship. Perhaps he chased after ships trading on behalf of haberdashers and just nabbed a share.

Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon, snorted.

"Rum?" Jack tried again.

Don Pedro almost seemed to consider this before shaking his head.

Jack's head followed the jerks on his ear. "Uh, promises to not try to woo your Captain unless she's wooing me?" Jack tried again.

Grunt said the rabbit.

"Alright then," Ren said, leaning sideways to put her drink down on the sand and then grabbing Don Pedro around the middle, "That's about the limit there." She hauled the protesting bunny back to the hammock, surprisingly, bits of ear didn't come with him. "While I appreciate the protection, I CAN take care of myself, savvy?"

The rabbit snorted again and didn't look convinced. He hopped off to present her with bunny butt, one loppy ear half-cocked to give her a one ear salute.

"Same to you, mate." Ren muttered. She turned back to Jack "Why're you here? How'd you find us?"

Jack grinned, rocking back on his heals to toe and back again. "Ah! We got the sword didn't we? Had to figure out how to get out of the maze, didn't we?" He fiddled with his mustache. "You have rum. Here we are."

Somehow Ren didn't think that was it at all, but she also thought she wasn't likely to get a straight answer out of the pirate any time soon. "What do you want?" She asked.

"Rum." He replied with a nod and a certain amount of satisfaction.

"That's it?" Ren asked doubtfully, but besides her, her crew, food and rum, the island didn't have a whole lot else to offer. It was one of the reasons she'd chosen it, she'd figured Jack would head straight for Tortuga.

He gave her a half-bow. "That's all for now, mate." He gave his best winning smile and with an outstretched foot, spun on the stop and marched his way towards the tavern.

Ren watched him go with half an eye before stretching back out on her hammock, going back to her book, a hand fished around and found her drink once more. "About what I thought," she muttered. Jack'd be back soon enough with his next harebrained scheme. If he weren't quite so yummy, she'd toss him in the bilge. She stopped to consider, she might just toss him in the bilge anyway. Till then, she'd enjoy sun, sand and rum.


  1. I'm surprised there's any rum left; Mick usually drinks it all. :)

    1. There's *a lot* of rum. Has to be for a week of partying pirates (furry and non-furry ;) )

      Mr Mick, I'm sure, got a keg to split with Speedy, Buttercup and Jensen.. ;)

  2. Hehehehe we can always find more rum Auntie Lorna,xx Speedy