Saturday, October 18, 2014

[Bunny Pirate Fanfiction] Less flaming poop, More Captain Jack Sparrow.

It was a beautiful day in the south Caribbean. The sand glistened in the bright sunshine, the surf was calm against the beach, and bunnies frolicked amongst all the splinters, rescuing blasted bananas from rotting.

"Do you think we'll have trouble finding firewood?" Tracy asked.

Captain Ren sighed, concentrating on crossing sand in high heeled boots. There was a definite art to not sinking.

"Or dinner, if you like bananas or roasted monkey." Tracy continued, following her Captain across the beach.

"They had it coming." Ren grumbled. There were scorch marks across the deck and hull.

They reached where Jack Sparrow, Captain of the Black Pearl stood surveying the land. He turned as Ren came into view. "Ah! Welcome to Monkey Skull Island!" he said cheerfully, turning with arms outstretched.

Ren gave him a hairy eyed look.

"I didn't know about the monkeys!" he protested.

"It's CALLED Monkey skull island!" She said, poking him in the stomach. Even with high heels, there was inches of difference in their heights.

"Aye well. I thought they'd all be skulls, luv." He gave her his most charming smile.

"What about the mermaids?" Ren asked pointedly.

"Rather lovely, they were, till you dumped all those onions overboard to scare them off." Jack nodded absently.

"And did you know about the mermaids?" She asked through clenched teeth.

"Oh. Right. I may have, indeed, known about the mermaids. But I didn't want you to worry, savvy?" He took a step back.

Ren took a step forward, poking him in the stomach again. "I almost lost Flint and three rabbits!"

"Are the rabbits alright then?" Jack asked with genuine concern.

"They're fine! So's Flint, thanks for asking!"

"Yer welcome." He nodded, "Right then.. I'm thinkin', we camp on the beach tonight and make inland in the light tomorrow."

"Fine." Ren agreed. She then kicked Captain Jack Sparrow swiftly and with enthusiastic force, in the shin.

He let out a bellow and leaned down to rub his shin. "What was that for, mate?!"

"This." She leaned forward and plucked his hat off his head and plunked it on her own. "That's for the flaming monkey poop, mate. You savvy?" She asked, hand on sword.

"Aye," He said, still rubbing shin, eyes revealing a thousand thoughts he wasn't expressing.

"Good." She turned on her heel and marched back across the sand.

Jack watched her go with a gleam in his eye.

"Pardon the Captain." Gibbs said from where he'd stood to the Captain's side, watching the conversation.

"Yes Mr Gibbs?" Captain Jack asked, turning to him.

"It just seems, Captain, you put up with a lot of guff from the ladies."

"Ah, there's good reason for that Mr Gibbs." Jack said, turning and heading back towards his beloved Pearl.

"Aye, Captain?" Gibbs asked.

"They don't always slap you." Jack said with a maniacal grin.


  1. Hahahaha to cheeky for words,xx Rachel

  2. throwing onions in the water to scare off the mermaids! HA! Brilliant!!!