[Fur Fiction] Nurse Lola visits a viking.

"You're still sick." Lola grumped.

"Blurgh." Came the reply from under the pile of bed clothes. A round of coughing soon followed.

"Have you seen a vet?"

"Doctor." muttered the coughing lump.

"Whatever. Did he feel your guts and stick a cold thermometer in you?" Miss Lola nosed under the covers to reveal the sick viking.

"No." Cough, hack, groan. The covers got pulled back across the sicky to get rid of the sudden draft.

"Did he check your head to see if it's still attached? You're holding on to it awfully tight. Are you worried it will fall off?" She stuck her head under the blankets and sniffed his neck and face.

"It's attached, unfortunately." Grumble. Whiskers tickled. "Hurts when I cough. Everything hurts when I cough."

"Humph." She gave a sympathetic lick. "You should see a vet and get one of those puffy thingies so you can breath."

"Nurgh."

"I was going to bring you soup.. but none of the chickens would sit in a bowl of water for me."

There was a significant silence from the would-be patient.

"I mean, I'm not going to COOK a friend, and Aunty Jodi would get mad anyway.. But chicken soup is chicken soup, right?"

"Nu-urg."

"Hmph." She settled on the bed, grooming her nose. "Anyway. Then I was going to bring you some kale and carrot chips, but I didn't know if that was good for sick humans.. and I'm not sharing the yummy hay my humom just got me, so I figured I'd just show up and be a heat source. You can pet me if you like."

Petting a rabbit was rarely optional even when phrased as such.

A round of coughs made their way through before a hand fished itself out of the mess to pet the bunny. She grumbled about how he was doing it all wrong and wriggled under the covers, to sit against his chest. "Have you been taking the disgusting liquids? Do you need me to wrap you in a towel and get a syringe?"

"No." Rabbits had a strange idea of medicinal procedures. Didn't any of them watch any the hundreds of medical dramas that were on TV?

"Hmph. Viking doctors are obviously useless. If you're not better by Monday, I'm taking you to see my Vet. She has warm hands."

"Nuhmph."

Miss Lola sighed, she supposed she could just take a nap and let the coughing viking cough. He probably wasn't going to let her use his tablet after what happened last time, anyway. Mean viking.

[Fur Fiction] Deadpool and a rabbit.

Written on my Netbook - so totally a 'get what you pay for' production. :)

* * *

"Look, Mr Fluffy here says you thought he'd look good in a cookpot and took exception to this." Deadpool held the miscreant by the throat against the wall. The guy's feet were clearing the ground by a couple of inches.

"Actually, it's Bernard." Said the large, grey, French Lop who'd been told 'That's a good stew!' by this idiot who thought they were being funny. Like rabbits never heard that 'joke'?

Deadpool looked down at the bunny. "Bernard? Who calls their rabbit Bernard?"

"MY human, that's who!" Bernard huffed. "I was named after the elf in The Santa Clause."

"Uh, if you guys are busy.." said the would be jokester, squirming.

"Not at all!" Deadpool happily told the guy, giving him another good thump against the wall. "Now, as I was saying, Bernard here thinks you're a jerk. And y'know what? So do I."

"Uh, sorry?"

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to the bunny. I mean, you're the jerk who hurt his feelings by insinuating pets are food and not friends."

The jerk looked at Bernard. "Uh, sorry?" he repeated.

Deadpool turned to look at open space. "I don't think he's sincere, what do you think kids?"

"What?" asked the jerk.

"Don't mind him, he does this." Bernard said.

"That's right, I do!" Deadpool hoisted the guy up and tossed him across the room. The jerk landed with a clatter, bouncing off the couch and onto the floor. Before he could sort out his limbs, Deadpool had marched across the room and grabbed him once more. "Now, once more with feeling! We don't eat our friends." He paused in his shaking, "Well, we do, but in an entirely different way, and I don't think non-bunnies should be doing that to bunnies and certainly not without their permission."

Bernard tilted his head to one side.

The jerk's head was obviously spinning. "I'm sorry Mr Bunny?" he tried.

Bernard sighed. "This guy is clueless. I mean, you'd think chewing on his cables and peeing on his boots would have taught him a lesson in the first place."

"Internet trolls. Should be put under bridges and buried." Deadpool said overly serious. "Should we do that Charles? Should be we bury you under a bridge?" He hauled the guy by the throat over to the window. "I can see a few nice bridges!"

"Uh - my names not Charles.." the jerk managed to protest.

"Do I look like I care, Charles? I don't care." Deadpool told him. "Now, pick a bridge, any bridge!"

"But.. Please.. look.. I didn't mean.. I thought it'd be funny..!"

"Is he peeing himself yet?" Deadpool asked Bernard.

"Don't think so." answered the bunny.

"Well, I have better things to do. Twelve year olds to frag, twenty year olds to bag, old women to throw across the street, y'know the usual." He switched the jerk to a one handed grip and yanked up the window with the other. "Say goodbye Charles!"

"Goodbye Charles." Bernard offered as the jerk spluttered.

Deadpool threw the jerk out the window. The jerk screamed and there was an awful thud and rattle a couple of seconds later.

"Oh don't worry Mr Bunny, he landed in a dumpster. I mean, if Daredevil can survive it, so can jerky boy." Deadpool crouched down and picked up Bernard. "Of course, ole DD did have the script writers on his side.." He turned and strode through the remains of the front door of the jerk's apartment, ignoring the people who were peering out of their doors to see what was going on. The appearance of a tall man in a red suit carrying swords and guns made them all rapidly disappear.

"Do you drink beer? I'm thinking of getting something hoppy."

"Oh you're a laugh a minute." Bernard grumbled.

Deadpool stopped and glared at the rabbit. "HEY! I'm sixteen point two laughs a minute! Just ask my writer! It's in my contract."

"You're a very weird human, you know that? And that's a pretty impressive thing as humans start off pretty weird."

"I'm talking to a rabbit. You're not one to talk." Deadpool hopped over the banister of the stairs and landed with a good solid thump before hopping down the other floor. "Ha ha. One to talk. I kill me." Deadpool stopped, looking off into the air once more. "Regularly. Don't try it at home kids."

"I think I need that beer." muttered Bernard.

[Random Blathering] An Ode to weaponry.

 

Since I'm procrastinating from doing actual work, I shall tell a story which I remembered while picking on Chewie last night. (The WoW gamer, not the Wookie.)

Way back in time the long suffering Sam O'Dell was running a Werewolf campaign. Werewolf is a typical dystopian role-playing game blending fantasy, horror and modern world aspects. I was playing a fairly clueless Fianna (Irish descended) werewolf who hadn't 'changed' until she was well into adulthood. (To cover the cluelessness of the player.) She didn't like actually KILLING and avoidied it at all costs, even when it came to the dark forces the werewolves battled. One of these forces were fallen, corrupted, werewolves who belonged to a tribe called the 'Black Spiral Dancers.'  So my character, whose name I've long forgotten, decided to design a new sort of weapon.

The beautiful thing about Werewolf is if you can think of it, you can probably create it. Being friends with the tech-friendly tribe of Glasswalkers, meant that whatever-her-name-was could buy a device that was a nice blend of the mystic and the technology. And I'd thought of a good one.

I suggested to a nice Glasswalker mystic that I should be able to have a mystical epilady. For those that don't know what an epilady is/does, it's a device that basically rips your hair out from the root to give you a supposedly long lasting, hair free, body part. I've never found it particularly painful, more stinging, but I'm told there are those that find it excruciating. So. Ms Fianna wanted one that didn't clog. She/I wanted to throw it the BSD's to rip their fur out. This led to the idea that it should roam on it's own happily ripping hair/fur out, to distract the evil werewolves while the rest of Ms Fianna's pack did whatever it is they needed to do.

The Glasswalker stared at her open mouthed. (Sam, our long suffering game master, was equally impressed.) He didn't even charge her to make it.

So, when I threaten with epiladying from 'head to to head to toe', gentleman, this is the device I'm thinking of.

Which I'd never actual threaten Chewie with, because he's a sweetie.

But.. It'd make a great weapon against Wookie too..

[WoW Fiction] Lady Letömi and Tanla Crystaltear meet some Dwarves.

(Written with permission from Letömi)

Changed from "Camp the Mage"

♫ There I see her,
With her silk robes all in red,
On the floor they are soon shed,
With her I'll soon be engaged
Don't need no excuse
Dying to let loose
I 'm gonna kiss the mage. ♫

* * *

Tanla was leaning back against Letömi, nose deep in a book. The death knight was on her stomach, lying on a towel, as she scrawled battle plans in a journal. Imogen was curled up in a ball, snoring puppy snores after yet another morning of tug and fetch. It was a rough life in the south seas of Azeroth, but one just had to suffer through the relaxation and enjoyment.

It was a bit strange to be leaning against skin that was cool to the touch. Not as cold as the Forsaken, who always seemed to have the chill of the grave wrapped around them, but certainly colder than a 'normal' body. The skin was certainly as soft and pliant as any other elven maid's, for all that hands were calloused from a sword.

The mage was jostled as Letömi made one of her usual lightning quick movements, changing to lie on her side. “That boat has been out there for three days.”

“Mmmhmm.” Tanla agreed, not paying particular attention. She wasn't quite sure how the Xth dimension particularly affected the Zth in the equation and really, had this human being smoking something when he was writing this? And if he had been smoking something, was he reselling it to the gnomes for some profit or was he getting it from the gnomes in the first place?

Letömi smiled with amusement and gently nibbled on Tanla's ear.  “Are you listening yet?” She rumbled in Tanla's ear.

“Yes. We were discussing picking up a sleeping puppy and going back to your cabin.” Letömi's cabin being far tidier than Tanla's. Her's had all sorts of magical debris and paraphernalia cluttering every surface. If you moved too quickly in Tanla's quarters, you might knock something over and cause a minor explosion. Not that she'd done that in the last twelve hours of course. The mage turned around to steal a kiss.

Letömi returned the kiss with fondness but wasn't distracted, stroking Tanla's hair, “No, we were discussing that dwarven vessel that has been sitting out at anchor for three days.”

Tanla frowned and turned back to look at the horizon, closing the book of gibberish. The writer's portals to Dalaran would probably open five miles above the crater in the Altarec Mountains. The idiot.

Letömi patiently waited while Tanla stared off at the horizon. She finally gave up; the mage was many things, but a strategist wasn't one of them. “Didn't you say our goblin hosts were having a tit-for-tat with their dwarven neighbours?”

Tanla sighed. Obviously, Letömi was itching for a fight after a week of little else. Apparently cuddling on blankets didn't take all her energy no matter what she spent her nights doing. And afternoons. And mornings.

Well, Tanla supposed to couldn't blame the knight, it had probably been her longest time off since Arthas came to call. The psychopathic asshat. While the mage could happily spend her entire life on a beach reading, it appeared Letömi required a bit more action. Or at least, of a different sort than recent days. Letömi's paladin lover wasn't here to keep her out of trouble, Tanla supposed a mage would just have to do. She gave it one last try, “Shouldn't we leave this to our hosts?”

Glowing blue eyes widened in mock innocence, “Why should they have all the fun?”

Tanla shook her head with tolerance and amusement before tossing the book into her nearby purse of holding. She had a lackey in Shattrath who sold them by the cartload for a ridiculous profit. She fished out her staff and stood up, using it as a prop. “Alright, let's go.”

Letömi grinned and rolled smoothly to her feet. Imogen yipped, awoken from her nap, and ran around in circles. She picked up the puppy and got her face licked. The death knight was frowning at Tanla's staff. “Isn't that Jaina Proudmoore's?”

“Hmm?” Tanla looked at the staff as if it was new to her possession and then gave a happy smirk. “Why yes, yes it is.”

Letömi let out a sigh. “Kill her or leave her be, you're leaving a dangerous foe alive while you toy with her.”

Tanla made a brushing motion and a pfffft noise. “I don't think we've actually been trying to kill each other for years. It's a convenient distraction from other horrors. One day we'll probably even end up in the Legerdemain Lounge drinking wine and bitching about idiot men.”

Both blood elves muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “Feckin' Orcs.”

Deciding discretion was the better part of valour, Letömi let the Jaina argument go. She was pretty sure any final duel would end up with a second crater in the face of whatever part of the land they happened to have it – and Azeroth, the Outlands, and Draenor already had more than enough damage to them. It was also far more likely Tanla would lose what little patience she possessed with Khadgar first.

“So,” Letömi said, changing the subject, “How well do you ride?” She smiled sweetly.

“Nurrgh,” Tanla grumbled. Until Silvermoon had been forcefully subdivided and dragged into the war, she'd been to exactly two places; Silvermoon and Dalaran. Neither city had required her to learn how to ride. “At best? I'm a sack of potatoes. There's a reason I portal or disc everywhere.” Magical discs were comfortable riding.

“Right then, you can ride in front. I promise not to let you fall off.” She summoned her deathcharger to her from the stables. Constance arrived and sniffed at Tanla dubiously before giving Letömi an 'are you kidding me?' look.

The death knight shrugged, “She probably won't pull your mane out.”

The undead horse gave her knight a long-suffering look before turning to let them mount. Letömi more tossed Tanla into the saddle than boosted her. The mage hadn't been kidding about her lack of skill. Letömi then swung up behind her, snuggling up before putting her arms around the mage to take the unnecessary reins. Being half a head taller than the mage meant she was only getting a mouthful of hair rather than eyes and mouth full of hair.

Constance pawed the waves and Letömi made a gesture in the air, drawing a rune of frost that pulsed for a moment and then burst, coating Constance's hooves in a soft glowing cold blue light. The charger nodded and trotted out onto the waves, a natural gait onto the mostly calm ocean.

“I wish I could explain how that felt to a mage,” Tanla said, rubbing the top of her head against Letömi's cheek. “The energies..” She gave a delighted shiver.

Letömi chuckled, “You're hopeless.” She teased.

“Nuh uh, if I were hopeless, I'd be begging you to draw runes in the air all night with your powers and not on me with your tongue.”

Blink. Blink. Why were they going to beat up dwarves again? Oh, right, she was pretending that they were gathering intelligence on the movements of the alliance while they fought a war with time elsewhere. Both blood elf women had already agreed Garrosh should have just been beheaded and they'd have been done with it. Sometimes Sylvanas had it right.

Tanla grinned having successfully distracted Letömi and went back to trying to grasp the edges of the spell that kept the steed on the waters.  She was drawn out of her futile efforts by Constance's coming to a stop.

“Hold on,” warned Letömi.

“Uh..” Tanla managed, right before Constance took several bounding leaps and then jumped up onto the desk of the ship. All that kept her in the saddle was Letömi's iron grip around her, even still she almost cracked her nose flat against the steed's neck. Much to Constance's seeming amusement. Bloody horses, alive or mostly dead, they all had the same sense of humour.

Letömi swung quickly out of the saddle and took Tanla's hand to help her as a deck of dwarves and gnomes all stared at them. “Why hello boys and girls!”  Letömi said cheerfully in surprisingly good common.

Magics allowed Tanla to understand any language, speaking it was another matter entirely. She was perfectly happy to let  Letömi bear the burden of carrying any conversations. Of course, considering the profanity that came from the Allied troops on the deck of the ship as they readied weapons and charged, not much translation was required. An alarm started to sound deep in the vessel.

Tanla was more than happy to reach into the arcane and gather power.

“Don't kill them!”  Letömi called as she waited for the throng to reach them.

“Wait – what?!” Tanla spluttered. Wasn't the entire point to paint the walls with their enemy's entrails?

“I don't want to restart the war and leave us with two fronts to deal with!”

“Oh for the love of..” Tanla grumbled, weaving arcane energies around her hands. “Fine!” Well, this had suddenly gotten a lot less fun.

Letömi was effortlessly weaving in and out of the sailors as more poured on top of the ship to deal with the invaders. Tanla shot stunning barbs of energy into them, causing them to flop, trip, swear and drop weaponry. Actually,  Letömi may have had a point; this WAS more fun than mindless slaughter.

“Archers!” Tanla called as she blasted a wave of energy through the air to disentegrate the arrows.

It wasn't hard to see over the crowd; they only came up to  Letömi's chest at their tallest. She'd kneed more than one gnome in the chin with enthusiasm. The death knight powered a rune on her blade and pulled the lagguards at the back into the pack. She circled and looked to her lover, “Now!”

“Yay!” Tanla cried, skipping a happy jump of glee. She pulled in a wave of energy and blasted it at the sailor's feet, sending them all sprawling into the ocean.  Letömi threw some life jackets overboard after them.

The two women watched them swear and swim for a while.

“Is it our fault if the sharks eat them?” Tanla asked conversationally, slipping her arm around  Letömi's waist.

“Probably. But I stopped caring. C'mon, let's see what this ship's been up to.”

“Do we get to sink it when we're done?” Tanla asked, following  Letömi into the depths of the ship. At least, it had been built with humans and draenei in mind and they didn't have to duck their heads the entire time.

“That depends on why it's here.”

It didn't take them long to find the Captain's quarters and start digging through logs and journals.  Letömi put down one of the latter with a sigh. “A patrol to make sure the Goblins don't take it into their heads to visit Dwarven Island. These Goblins are unaligned and the alliance are idiots.”

Tanla raised an eyebrow, “That, unto itself, is not news.”

“On said island, oh so witily named, they are developing a device that will create a magical nullifaction field that will cover a battlefield.”  Letömi passed the book over to Tanla.

The mage swore. “This is ridiculous, they'll never pull it off. The energy requirements alone..”

“I absolutely agree,”  Letömi said, still looking quite put out.

“But?” Tanla said warily.

“Vol'jin needs to know.”

Tanla swore enthusiastically in three languages. “Back to work?”

Letömi nodded, “Farewell south seas, hello war. Back to work.”

[Fur Fiction] ♫ Santa Bunny, hurry up with your deliveries tonight! ♫

Miss Lola was stretched out across the floor enjoying a well earned nap. She could feel her humom staring at her. She finally opened one eye to look up at the human. "What?"

"I need you to deliver a package to your furry godmum." She was informed.

Miss Lola huffed. "I was just there! Why can't you two feet ever coordinate?"

"I'm sure she has some blueberries for you.." was the attempted bribe.

Lola considered the matter for a couple of heartbeats. "I'd rather sleep now and hit Dad up for bananas later." She closed her eye to go back to sleep.

"It's not MY fault you were out all night with Imogen, Speedy, Buttercup and Jensen!" Her humom told her. "Just one little package. It'd make your furry Godmum happy .. and Santa Viking happy.."

The white rabbit sighed and rolled to her feet. "You're not going to leave me alone until I do, are you?" There was much grumbling and huffing as she hopped over to her humom. She looked at the package and then up at her humom. "This is NOT little! This is two thirds the size of me!"

"Who's a good girl?" Her humom asked as she stroked Lola's nose.

"I swear, it's like you don't even listen to me." Lola grumbled, grabbing the edge of the package and dragging it behind her as she hopped to the closet. She looked back, "I'm taking a nap at Auntie Lorna's! SHE knows better that to bug bunnies when they're sleeping! And I want banana when I get back!" She hopped forward a few more steps. "Santa Viking. Ho ho humbug."

[Fur Fiction] Puppy Kisses and Package Delivery.

"Imogen!" Silver called, trying not to sound like she was luring her puppy into a favour.

 

The Aussie cross bounced in, tail high and wagging. She bounded over to put her front paws on the arm of her humom's computer chair.

 

Silver held up a thick envelope. "Can you take this to your Auntie Lorna?"

 

The wagging tail flagged and Immi let out a short whine.

 

"Have you seen the price of shipping to Canada? Surely if rabbits can use closets to travel a smart doggie like you can!" Silver gave her best encouraging voice and look.

 

Imogen gave her best 'Wah!' look before gently taking the package in her mouth and dropping off the arm of the chair. She walked slowly to the closet, giving her humom lots and lots and lots of time to change her mind. She gave a last sad look over her shoulder before entering the closet with a sigh.

 

* * *

 

Lorna was startled from her ebook by a large thump and clatter from the closet. Wondering if one of the bunnies had been drinking and closeting, she went over and opened the foor to find Imogen tail up, shoulders down, wedged against the shelves and looking miserable. "Immi!" She helped the australian shepherd to her paws and took the package from the dog's mouth. "Did you travel by yourself?"

 

Imogen whined and looked pathetic.

 

"Let's put out a bowl of blueberries to lure in a rabbit for your ride home." Lorna told her, giving the dog a scritch behind the ears. Immi's tail wagged a few times, indicating a better mood already. "You're a very good herder and tugger, but navigating tunnels is not in your job description." They walked into the kitchen, Imogen looking hopeful. "Is this from your Mom?" Lorna asked, waving the envelope. Imogen managed not to give a 'well, duh' look.

 

Lorna opened the freezer for the blueberries, pouring a handful into a bowl. She then opened the fridge to reveal a Tupperware container with chicken in it. "We won't tell your mom, right?"

 

Imogen immediately sat and held up a front paw. Nope, she wasn't gonna tell about chicken, at all.

 

The Canadian appreciated Immi's manners and delicate way as she handed the chicken over, getting a lick on her hand in thanks.

 

"C'mon, let's go play tug until a rabbit shows up."

 

Imogen bounced up and ran in a couple of circles. Tug was her favourist!

 

Lorna didn't have a rope, so three braided cat-5 cables just had to make do. Four paws offered better traction on carpet than two so Lorna cheated and sat on the couch to brace herself. That was her excuse and she was sticking to it.

 

The Silver Letomi CD was half-over and Lorna's arms were starting to get tired when a white bunny nose poked out of the closet and stole a blueberry. "You have a dog in your living room." Miss Lola said, rather grumpily.

 

"Immi needs a ride home." Lorna told the rabbit.

 

Imogen gave Lorna an accusatory look.

 

"Well, you do!" Lorna told the dog. What was she supposed to say?

 

The noise out of Imogen sounded suspciously like a 'humph!'

 

"Well, of course she does." Miss Lola said, continuing to work her way through the small pile of blueberries. "She's a dog. You call a dog when you want things organized, fetched, cuddled or licked. When you want to travel quickly and accurately, you call a rabbit." She licked the juice out of the bottom of the bowl, the berried having disappeared at a magical rate. "C'mon Immi, I have a nap to take and a hockey game to watch."

 

Immi gave Lorna a few good-bye kisses and accepted a fur ruffle and hug before trotting over to Miss Lola. She gently touched her nose to Lola's in greeting. The white rabbit stood on her back paws to give Immi's nose a quick groom. "C'mon then. Maybe we can swing by Disneyworld while we're in Orlando? Have you been yet?"

 

Lorna missed the answer as the two disappeared into the closet. She wondered if she should txt Silver to say Imogen would be home .. eventually.

[WoW Fanfiction] Fryttz the Hunter and Leensa the Paladin.

 

(I probably got lore wrong and Fryttz was written without warning or permission.)

Leensa sat with her feet up on the desk much abused desk, chewing on the blindweed as she worked her way through a thick book called "Savage Passions." She was in half-armour, her boots were scuffed, her hair was in a rough ponytail, and she was the basic epitome of a blood elf who had been stuck in the back of beyond for four years.

"Is that really suitable for a paladin?" Ruag asked from the other side of the desk. He'd been stuck working on the quartermaster's invoices all day. Why should the elf get to read a book? It was probably all about twiggy elf sex anyway.

"I'm a Paladin, not dead," She replied, without looking up. She licked a finger and turned over a page. "Do Orcs really have three.."

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Ruag bellowed, cutting her off.

Leensa smirked to herself.

"Orcs don't mate with twiggy elves anyway." Ruag then grumbled as the silence dragged on.

It was so easy to get his goat. "Isn't Commander Crystalsong married to an Orc?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows over the top of the book.

"She was. But he died of shame or something. A shaman of repute married to .. to .." He couldn't even say it, settling instead for a low growl.

Leensa actually snickered. "Don't worry, Ru, your virtue is safe with me."

"I should think so!" he said stiffly before turning back to the scribbled writing of his quartermaster. He was actually starting to think of hiring a goblin to do this all for him. He'd probably break even after the grafting.

Leensa was still making amused noises when the alarm bell started ringing at high velocity. It was more than loud enough to knock the dead from their graves.

"THE DARK PORTAL IS OPENING!" A grunt yelled from the entrance to the inn.

The blood elf and the orc commander shared a confused look. "The dark portal has been open for years," Leensa said, putting the book down and getting to her feet. The one good thing about being at an orc outpost was sturdy furniture, she could abuse it any which way and no one would care or notice.

"Go find out what that idiot is on about," Ru ordered.

"Aye, Aye, Cap'n!" She said with a sloppy salute before jogging around the desk, absently jumping over a pile of papers.

"COMMANDER!" he roared after her. Good help was so hard to find. "STOP DEMOTING ME!"

* * *

"Hey, Zuuel!" Leensa called as she saw the grunt alerting the stables. She looked up at the bell and wished it would shut up. Would it be wrong to pray for the silence of an alarm bell? The thing was rattling her teeth in her head. "The portal's been open forever!" She occasionally went out to the blasted lands for a drink and to taunt the alliance, after all.

"NEW portal!" he blathered, "Fel Orcs are pouring out! Every outpost is being called up!" He panted, turning on his heel and running for the shaman's hut.

Leensa said several un-paladin-like words. Her hippogryph was already shaking loose of its stall. They'd been together since Ragnaros had tried to take over the world. What now?  It grabbed it's saddle in its mouth and dropped it at Leensa's feet. Apparently it heard battle and didn't want her bareback.

"Right, let's see if I remember how this all goes.." It had been a lot of years since she'd fought from saddleback. Her mount let out several grumbles and rolled it's eyes, fluffing sparking feathers. "I could just summon my steed, you know," She told him. That got her a glare and a beak snap. "Right, he can't fly and is afraid of heights." Her hippogryph harumphed.

One of the outpost kids showed up with her armour and weaponry. She tossed him a gold coin, she didn't feel like fishing around for a supposedly more appropriate amount. Let the kid's mother yell at her later for overpaying. The kid was so enthusiastic he helped her into the armour. Normally she'd just wriggle and wiggle like a pole dancer to get into it. A second pair of hands meant everything was in place and proper in half the time. She gave him another gold and told him to keep his head down as she swung into the saddle.

Her mount let out a war-screech and launched into the sky. Half the outpost was already mounted and starting the run towards the portal. She looked at their numbers with a pang, they were at best at third strength. They'd sent some of their best warriors off to Orgrimmar to help Vol'Jin and they'd never come back. Who'd have thought the portal would do strange things NOW?

Wings beating strongly, the hippogryph headed towards the battle at top speed and enthusiasm. She guessed he'd been getting as bored as she had. But boredom was always better than war.

The battlefield wasn't hard to find, it looked like they were being slaughtered down there. The only blessing seemed to be the invaders didn't seem to have the flying mounts that the elite of the Horde did. Were there humans down there? Had the Alliance actually gotten their heads out of their asses enough to work with the Horde? There was hope for anything if that was true.

She joined the circling mass, then nudged her hippogryph to head to the ground. He took a steep circling dive. With a whispered word to the light, she blasted the enemy forces that were converging on a small squad of orcs. Her dive off her mount turned into a somersault as she landed in the midst of them. Two were already down on the ground, struggling to get up. She knocked their weapons aside with her foot before they could get any bright ideas and knelt on the ground. Her hands glowed with the healing power of the light as she whistled for her mount.

Showing about as much respect for the battling orcs, green and brown, it landed, batting foes aside, snapping through the leg of one with a beak snap. A wing beat broke a neck. Leensa heaved one of the injured orcs up onto his back. "Get him behind the lines!" she ordered. Her hippogryph growled at her. "I'll be FINE. I can summon Brightmane if I have to!"

His opinion of THAT was given in a shower of sparking feathers as he launched off the ground, his hind hooves missing her head by inches. The show would have been more fruitful if she'd still been paying attention, she'd already moved on to her next patient.

She didn't notice when it was that she'd sent the last of the group off back behind the roughly forming lines, just that she was suddenly surrounded by a seething mass of fel orcs and her mace wasn't doing nearly enough damage. "Should have paid more attention to martial classes," she muttered to herself as she blocked an axe with her shield. Perhaps it was time for a strategic retreat. It looked like their side at least had more bodies in play than on the ground.  The fel orc strategy seemed, as always, to build bulwarks with the corpses of their fallen and to climb over them.

She was startled by a shower of gore from behind her, "PAY ATTENTION, ELF!" came a gravelly shout from behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see a fel orc falling and a second one explode as a large bullet hit it in the neck. A Forsaken swung his gun with enthusiasm to smack another orc aside with the butt.

"I am paying attention!" She shouted back, before grabbing the nearest green orc and throwing her arm over her shoulder and hauling the wounded woman upright. "Now cover me!"

"What did your last servant die of?!" Growled the Forsaken as he fired blasts into the wave of fel orcs heading at them.

"I don't know!" Leensa growled right back, "What caused your death?"

"Arthas!" The hunter growled, scowling at her before barely aiming around her as she caught up with him as he fell back from the teaming mass of the enemy.

"Oh! Then maybe we're family!" She snarled. Orc blood was dripping in her armour and itchy. It might have been making her cranky. Where the hell were all these orcs coming from?!

"These Orcs are all wrong!" The hunter growled as he grabbed the orc warrior off Leensa's shoulder and tossed her over his own.  A wolf leapt over his shoulder to take down a fel orc that was about to strike him down. "Good wolf." The hunter said, almost as an after-thought.

Leensa grabbed another orc, healing as she dragged. "Where are they all coming from?" she felt she'd asked this before.

"The big portal over there!" The hunter replied, dropping the injured orc amongst the other injured.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Leensa muttered. She looked at him, "You're injured."

The hunter didn't even glance down, "I'm fine."

"Oh for the love of the sun; let me heal you." Leensa snapped at him. She didn't have time for the macho nonsense.

"How does one heal the dead?" The hollow voice seemed almost philosophical.

"I just ask the light and the light figures it out. Not my department." Leena grabbed his arm before he could get out of range.

"Shouldn't you know the hows and whys of your powers you wield?" he asked, turning eyes down at her.

"I'm Leensa Brightblade, by the way," She said, ignoring the question.

"Fryttz." He said, watching as the ichor dripping wound in his side was woven back together by a soft yellow glow.

"Weren't you the one who --" she started to ask.

"I don't want to talk about it." he interrupted.

"Right," Leensa said looking back to the battlefield. "Are we even pushing them back?"

"Sort of." Frytzz gazed over the field, "We're outnumbered only five to one now. They haven't a chance."

The paladin let out a long sigh.

Fryttz's wolf appeared, carrying the better part of a brown orc leg in its mouth.

"Good girl. Drop." came the order from her master. The wolf whined softly but dropped it on the ground with a meaty shlunk. Then hunter then strode over the bodies of the injured and dying to rejoin the chaotic battle.

Leensa debated for half a heartbeat, but the shamans seemed to have everything behind the lines in hand and so jogged to catch up with Fryttz.

"You're still here?" he grumbled.

"You need me, what if you get injured?" She said with an overly bright, if false, smile.

"The only reason I've been injured so far is because you don't pay attention to your surroundings. " He grumbled, firing a scattered shot into the writhing mass of Fel Orcs.

"And the least I can do is heal you for it!" Leensa replied as she brought the power of the light down on an orc's head.

"STORM THE PORTAL!" a human voice called from behind them.

"Is he frelling kidding?!" Leena yelped, ducking an orc's axe

Fryttz didn't answer, just easily moved with the tide that surged forward, leaving the paladin to scramble to keep up.

"Follow Thrall, what could go wrong?" Leensa muttered to herself as she grabbed a troll who had stumbled and gave them a blessing as the horde and alliance both streamed forward.

"Do you ever stop complaining?" Fryttz asked just before they reached the gaping maw of the portal.

Leensa shook her head, "Not that I've ever noticed, no."

"Great." He muttered jumping through, Leensa hard on his heels.