(Nuts, I did miss a spot.)
Miss Titch decided that since depression was making her Aunty Lorna listless, it was time for a bunny intervention. She knew her Aunty Lorna liked pretty sparkling lights, so it was a rabbit's job to help her put up her tree!
To say Lorna was surprised to see her favourite Brit was an understatement. "Isn't it past your bedtime?" she asked as Titch bounded up onto the chaise lounge part of the sofa.
"This is a Christmas mission! Mum won't mind." Titch told her firmly.
"Oh, so if I were to send her a message.." Lorna said with a raised eyebrow from where she'd been sitting and reading in the wide, squooshy, chair.
"Er." Titch thought quickly. "You'd wake her up! You wouldn't want to do THAT. Besides, I'm here to help you have pretty sparkles." Titch looked around the room. "Where are you going to put the tree? You'll need to move furniture."
"And how are you helping?" her Aunty Lorna asked. Lorna was pretty darn sure the rabbit wasn't going to be the one lifting, turning, and twisting.
"Cheerleading and pointing out holes." Titch said like this was the biggest favour a bunny can give. Well, maybe second to disposing of all the oats in one's cupboards.
"Uh huh." Accepting the inevitable, Lorna put on Trans Siberian Orchestra. It was the only Christmas music she could tolerate, outside of a certain Dropkick Murphys song.
Twenty minutes of grunting and grumbling later, the chair and coffee table had been moved and the tree was up and looking very bare. "Are you going to help me take this down in a month, too?"
"No, silly. That's a boy's job." Titch said with an amused shake of her head. "Boys were better at destroying things ."
"I don't think it was a boy who snipped their Mum's charger cord last week." Duchess had been bragging that at least SHE had never done that.
Titch sniffed, "Really!" Then a huff. "She hasn't found it, so it hasn't happened."
Perfect bunny logic.
The fun part, draping the tree with lights.
"You missed a spot." Titch helpfully pointed out as the human who couldn't turn at the waist tried to loop the lights around the back of the tree. Holding her arms above shoulder height wasn't particularly pleasant either.
"Thanks." Lorna even managed to keep the sarcasm to a reasonable level.
"You're welcome!" Titch replied cheerfully.
"I have a slow cooker, you know." Lorna replied as she finally managed to catch the loop of lights.
"Pfffft, empty threat. Mum makes that one all the time. I'm too pretty for a slow cooker!"
More like her butt was too big, but her Aunty Lorna was more than wise enough to not point that out. While Titch wouldn't snip Christmas tree lights (some things are sacred,) she was probably more than willing to snip and hide a charger or two.
"Maybe The Viking can help you take down the tree," Titch mumbled around something.
Lorna turned, "Are you eating a digestive cookie?!"
"Uhm." The chewing sped up.
"If you get sick, your Mum will KILL ME." Lorna said sternly.
"Oh, don't worry," Titch said, sitting back on her haunches. "I steal them all the time. The chocolate covered ones made me feel a bit yucky, so I avoid those ones."
The high numbers of vet bills danced through Lorna's head.
"I prefer oatcakes, but you seem to be out."
"Oatcakes have a habit of disappearing around me." Lorna confessed.
"Me too." Titch agreed. They were decadently SCOTTISH but sometimes an English bunny just had to make sacrifices. If anyone asked, however, the biscuits were Danish butter cookies and not shortbread. One had to play to a Viking's ego, right?
Muttering continued as the lights fought being put up. At least the tangling was minimal. "The Viking refuses to travel through closets after the last time." Lorna said, tangenting back.
"Pooh." Titch said with a dismissive wave of a front paw. "It wasn't as bad as he made it out to be."
"Teddy almost got him eaten by a worg."
"It was a small worg! Only the size of a Shetland pony! Wasn't like it was a full size one. And he was FINE, almost doesn't count for anything. I ALMOST got a piece of Christmas cake is nowhere near my GETTING a piece of Christmas cake."
"Pretty sure he would consider that a completely different matter." Lorna said taking a step back from the tree to plug in the lights.
"You missed a spot," Titch said helpfully as she licked bits of digestive cookie off the chaise. Rabbits were not neat eaters.
Her Aunty Lorna sighed and fixed it. "Okay, I'm done. I'll do the ornaments tomorrow."
Titch hopped off the couch and up onto the nearby squooshy chair to evaluate. "We did a good job even if I do say so myself!
Lorna managed to lean down to kiss the bunny on the forehead. "Best Christmas helper, ever."
"I'll be back tomorrow to help you with ornaments!" Titch said dashing off to the closet to get home.
Lorna sighed again and flomped back onto her chair. It was amazing anything ever got done with bunny "help."
