Written for Jade
As far as days on the ocean went, it was a nice enough day. The sun was shining, the breeze wasn't trying to blow them overboard, and the spray was mostly at their backs. The longboat Mr. Mick had stolen what seemed like years ago hadn't been designed for the open waves, but in true to Viking fashion, it didn't seem to notice. In most ways, it was a standard longboat for all that it was less than a decade old and stored in Devon, England.
“I don't think this is very genuinely Viking,” Miss Lola complained from under the shade of the parasol. Miss Lola was a large white bunny. At this point, she would remind the narrator she is the perfect weight for her size and that she's just large for people's ideas of cute little cottontails and not the reasonable size of a standard domesticated rabbit. Miss Lola would say that this is very important information and would chomp the computer cords of any narrator silly enough not to pass said information on.
There were several benches on the deck of the longboat and towards the stern there was a bench across the width. In the middle of the bench sat one long-suffering descendant of the travelers and conquerors from the frozen north. He was holding a large parasol. It was a pink parasol, supposedly to match Her Royal Highness Miss Lola's eyes. To his left sat Miss Lola, using her humom as a pillow, to his right sat Buttercup, borrowing Speedy's humum as her seat. Miss Lola's Mom was a bit short, rather blonde and was drinking out of a seemingly endless mug of coffee. Buttercup was another lovely lady white bunny, but with slightly less of a royal attitude. Perhaps related to the queen but probably not, Speedy's mum Rachel was doing the time honoured tradition of 'pet the bunny.' It was a rough job, but someone had to do it.
Speedy was a white bun with a handsome dark brown splotch on his nose and the same dark brown on his ears. He stood up at the bow, front paws on the edge, as his ears flapped around into the wind. Jensen sat on the bench behind him, using Speedy for a wind block as he peered over the sides at the dolphins skipping alongside the longboat. Jensen, Buttercups bestest friend and frequent pillow, was mostly white with a few light brown splotches.
“I just don't think that genuine Vikings would use outboard motors on their ships!” Miss Lola continued with her complaining.
“Then perhaps you should find a genuine Viking.” Grumbled the long-suffering Kim. “You're not paying me enough to row.” The descendant of Vikings was on an average height, redheaded, red-bearded, and a bit squinty as he avoided looking towards the sun.
“She's actually paying you?” Jade asked, quite surprised.
“Of course I'm paying him!” Miss Lola huffed.
“She's promised not to chew on any cables for a week,” Kim explained, tucking parasol handle into the nook of his arm and holding it against his chest so he could scratch his nose. As part of the sunburn as soon as he stood in a shadow near sunlight brigade, he and Jade had used the strongest sunblock they could find. It still probably wouldn't be enough.
“I promised not to chew on any of *your* cables for a week.” Her royal highness clarified.
“I didn't promise not to munch cables!” Speedy said happily from the bow.
“Speedy!” His Mum warned, “You better not be chomping anyone's cables!”
His ears dipped a little, “Yes Mum.” He sighed, “Not that I would have anyway, it just sounded fun for a bit.”
Jensen leaned up to his buddy “Don't worry, my Mom isn't here to spoil the fun. I can chomp any and all cables that need chomping.”
“You're a pal!” Speedy said cheering right up.
Speedy's Mum just sighed.
“LAND HO!” Speedy called. He looked over his shoulder, “Why are we calling land such not nice names?”
“It's probably a Viking thing.” Jensen offered.
It was Kim's turn to sigh.
The small motor put out far more power than it probably should have, bunny magic at work no doubt. In fact, Kim wasn't entirely sure where they were because, after only twenty minutes at sea, they probably should have still been able to see Devon behind them. He really had to find a new travel agent.
The longboat drove itself up and onto the beach so the rabbits could hop out onto dry sand. They still made a fuss about getting sand out from between their toes, flicking their feet every which way. The humans sighed and got to shove the small ship further up the beach so they wouldn't lose their ride home.
The land they'd arrived on didn't look much different from the land they left. Large sandy beach with scrub grass and rocky hills. What looked like triangular sod houses tiered up the way. Okay, so those were a bit different. They didn't even look like they had central heating or indoor plumbing.
“Uh,” Kim said brilliantly, shouldering the parasol, now furled. The sun seemed further away, the wind colder.
“Hmm.” Jade agreed, putting on her jacket. Rachel had said she'd only need a windcheater in a late English spring, not quite sure how to translate English into American, she'd gone with a spring jacket, but she was starting to think she should have been more ambitious.
For her part, Rachel seemed immune to the wind, other than to mutter about it blowing her hair every which way. “Speedy Rabbit, if you go out of my sight I'm having your craisin ration!”
Speedy for his part did a double hop binky as he gave a good run up and down the beach. He didn't seem to be taking the threat too seriously.
“Look! Strangers! And they brought us dinner!” A blonde bearded bear appeared from behind a hill of sand and scrub grass. A couple of equally hairy and Scandinavian looking men and a woman wandering behind him. Their clothing looked straight out of a TV series. His accent sounded suspiciously Nordic.
“Dinner?” Miss Lola said, not sure to look interested or disgusted. She had the sneaking suspicion that her idea of dinner and his idea of dinner would be two different things. “Well, that's delightful of you to offer!”
The man looked down at Miss Lola who was looking most defiantly up at him. Jade decided it was probably a good time to intervene before her bunny got herself in more trouble than one bunny could handle.
“Excuse me,” Jade said, stepping in front of her bunny, glaring up at the man who smelled like bear grease and pine trees. “If you're thinking of making a meal of my rabbit, we're going to have to have a disagreement!”
“You let this woman talk for you?!” The man protested towards Kim.
Kim shrugged. He had nothing to prove.
“You sounded English. English are easy to taunt into stupid battles.” He looked disappointed.
“Oi. I'm English and I'm not fighting any stupid battles this week.” Rachel said, marching up to him.
The man looked over his shoulder to the woman and the men behind him.
“Oh for..” the woman muttered, shoving him aside. “Welcome to Hanatun. I am Freydis, this lout is Heming, that there's my brother Tore, and that's Yngvar. I don't suppose you have trade goods with you?” She looked down towards the longboat. “Though, that doesn't look like an ocean vessel..”
“That's what I said!” Kim said, glaring at Miss Lola. The white bunny, ever a bun of class, turned and looked over her shoulder at him and stuck her tongue out.
“Now that sounds like home!” Heming said and strode forward to slap Kim on the shoulder. Kim wuffed but managed to absorb it. “Tell me, brother, do you have ale?”
“We have some tea.” Rachel offered, holding up a thermos. “And, uh.. honey” She was trying to think of what they'd packed in the picnic basket that wasn't for rabbits.
“Lots of hay.” Buttercup said innocently.
“Your familiars are truly wondrous creatures,” Freydis said, crouching down to hold her hand out to Jensen. Speedy, the most adventurous and people friendly of the four, hopped over to give her finger a lick.
“You aren't going to try and eat us, right?” Jensen asked, half hiding behind Jade.
“No, we have a very strong no magical creatures in our diet belief,” Freydis replied with a slight smile.
“All animals are magical.” Miss Lola muttered, which earned her a light shove with Jade's foot. Miss Lola mock nipped the air above the said foot.
“But why do we stand around here? Let us go up to the hall and talk like civilized people!” He turned to lead the way up the path. He learned to Tore in a mock whisper “Do not let the blonde one get a spear. I fear it would be a lost battle for all of us!”
“I don't need a spear!” Jade said with a false sweet smile, “I'm trained in many forms of hand to hand butt whooping.”
“I bet your husband is a lucky man” Tore said with a subtly that hadn't changed in a few thousand years.
Rachel snorted and then looked up at the sky innocently when Jade glared at her.
“Oh yes,” Kim said, picking up the picnic basket before passing the parasol to Jade. “A mighty ice fisherman who catches feasts no matter the weather. He fears no depth of freeze nor summer breeze, for he must bring home dinner for his loving wife.”
“I'll no depth of ice him,” growled Jade.
“Sounds like a mighty hunter” Tore said, already looking towards Rachel.
Rachel rolled her eyes, “My hubby has been known to make tea.” she said lightly.
“Uh, yes,” Tore said. Probably adding such commentary to his true belief that the English were mad. Or whatever they called the English. Who knew what bunny magic was translating from?
Freydis was smirking to herself. Sisters were the same everywhere, perfectly happy to watch their brothers make fools of themselves.
"Just had to suggest she find some real Vikings, didn't you?" Jade said aside to Kim.
Kim The Long Suffering sighed again.
The triangular hall was huge, the first couple of meters sunk into the ground before the walls came up and a huge sod roof covered it. The visitors expected dark and dingy inside, but clever window gaps and air vents made it surprisingly airy. Rachel could only hope they had a way to cover those up before the storms!
“This would make a lovely rabbit home!” Miss Lola said, peering around. She hopped past some startled Vikings to inspect under chairs and around the fireplace. Speedy, ever a bun to be helpful went the other way to check things matched Miss Lola's descriptions. Buttercup remained on Jensen guarding duty and Jensen remained to guard the humans. Obviously, they couldn't survive without proper bunny supervision at all times!
The settlers were getting a quick brief down of their visitors and their magical companions. Hemming and Yngvar were arguing who was the visitor and who were the companions. Kim, not sure himself, felt no need to join the discussion and instead decided to sit down on a carved chair by the fire. He soon had a gaggle of children demanding stories of magical adventures.
The women didn't quite surround Jade and Rachel to see what trade goods they had. Rachel was more than happy to share the seemingly unending flask of tea. In exchange, they were handed the Viking idea of a light lunch. Jade declared they'd be rolling her home to the delight of several.
Somehow the fish and chips had stayed hot and had a supply enough for a small army. “How much can you put in here?” Rachel asked Speedy.
Speedy who had been trying to teach mighty Viking warriors how to give ear rubs (they weren't anywhere near as proficient as his personal pet Viking) looked over with a shrug, “As much as you need.”
“And it can hold anything?” Rachel asked with raised eyebrows.
“Well. Anything picnicky. It's a picnic basket after all.” Speedy explained, butting his head against a Viking who was doing the pet the bunny thing all wrong. “No ants though.”
“Oh good, would hate to bring ants on our strange and magical voyage,” Rachel muttered as she rifled through. She produced a Hudson's Bay Blanket. That must be from one of Lorna's ideas of a picnic, she decided before handing it over to the nearest Viking to examine.
Miss Lola eventually stood up from where she'd been enjoying the fire and Kim's story of the dark knight Vader whose konungr almost defeated Vader's heroic son Lukas at the battle of Endor. “Shoulda thrown the Ewoks down with him,” muttered Lola who never been a fan of the carnivorous little teddy bears.
She stretched and yawned before hopping over to headbutt her mom in the leg. “It's time to go home.”
Jade looked up and realized it was twilight outside. “Where ARE we?” She couldn't even begin to guess at the time and she wasn't sure if Rachel's watch's claim of “10 pm” was anything close to accurate.
“Newfoundland,” Jensen said. He always knew where they were. After that whole Azeroth-wolves incident with Mr. Mick, he made sure to keep careful track.
“Should pick up some Screech for Nick's buddies before we go,” Rachel said with a wink.
Their hosts protested that it was nightfall (ish) and that they couldn't possibly travel back out onto the ocean at night. Jade had to explain that bunny magic was strongest at dusk and dawn and if they wanted to get home safely they'd need to go before the sunset. Of course, the fact she wasn't sure that the sun even set this far north at this time of year was neither here nor there.
The humans packed themselves and the tired rabbits off and made their way down to the beach. Kim wasn't quite sure how he ended up with the picnic basket AND two tired rabbits to carry, but at least they'd left the parasol behind. A young woman named Sigrid had been happy to trade it for a chunk of meat that would keep Kim fed for a month.
Putting rabbits and various equipment into the boats the three humans gave it a shove into the surf before scrambling in.
“I'm getting too old for this,” grumbled Jade as she sat down heavily on the bench.
“Me too.” Rachel agreed. “Wouldn't have missed it for the world, though!” Speedy was flomped out across her lap, head hanging off her leg. He barely twitched an ear when Rachel gave him a kiss on the nose and said "Thank you!"
“It's a lot of work though, bringing three humans.” Miss Lola said with an almost jaw-cracking yawn. “The Viking's not so bad, he's got a small footprint, but adult humans are heavy.”
“Well, we appreciate the holiday.” Rachel said, reaching over to stroke Miss Lola's nose.
“I'm sure there'll be extra bananas in your bowl when we get home,” Jade told her with a fond smile.
“There better be.” grumbled the rabbit.
“Oh blast!” Rachel exclaimed, patting herself down while being very careful not to disturb Speedy. “I left the thermos!”
“Well, that outta confuse the archeologists,” Jade said with a grin. “It'll probably be out of tea by then.” She looked down at Miss Lola, “Won't it?”
The white rabbit was either asleep or pretending to be asleep and refusing to answer.
