Wednesday, March 1, 2017

[Pirates of the Caribbean Fanfiction] Meanwhile, on the good ship Rumrabbit..

Handsome Jack sat on the gunwale and ignored the world with only the grace and ability that a cat could produce. His long, luscious, perfect, tail, curled around his feet as he sat up, making sure he faced the wind correctly to make the light fur ruffling breeze got it's action right. It was hard to be the best looking being in port, but someone had to do it.

A shadow fell across him, and he let out a sniff before turning to stare at the source of the rum stench. It also smelled more human than most humans did it.

"That's a cat." The human said, peering down at him.

Handsome Jack yawned.

"You don't do cats. You do rabbits." The human said, frowning.

Captain Ren appeared out of the human's shadow. She barely came up to his shoulder but was a fierce hunter and provider of chicken puffs. Handsome Jack decided he'd let her scritch him along the jaw and even let out a rumbling purr to let her know she was doing a good job. It was important to let your lackeys know they were successful in their tasks.

He tuned out what Captain Ren was saying; it probably wasn't important anyway since she wasn't talking to him. Something about the human being the master of the obvious and she worshipped all creatures as glorious as himself, probably.

"The cat's name is Jack?!" spluttered the human.

Handsome Jack narrowed his eyes and glared at the human.

"*Handsome* Jack." Captain Ren corrected.

Handsome Jack gave a little cat sniff while he considered being mollified . The decision was made for him when Captain Ren started rubbing behind his ear. Well, that was just cheating.

"Well, he is better lookin' than the monkey."

Jack sat up, full out glaring at the human with a little hiss, tail lashing against the wood and his front paws.

Captain Ren reached up and smacked the human on the back of the head. "He was named Jack before you were named Jack."

"I'm not sure time be workin' that way. I'm older than the cat."

Jack let out a warning low rumbling growl that this human better be more respectful to himself and his provider of toys, treats and scritches. Well, his secondary provider, his humom was better at it still, but one made do when one was on vacation.

"He's not named after you.. and the monkey smells better."

"Than the cat?" The human asked archly, "I can agree with that!" He said smugly.

Or at least, he was smug, until Handsome Jack had had enough and launched off the gunwale to land rear paws on the human's chest, his front on the human's eyes. His hind claws dug in for purchase, while he flexed his forepaws meaningfully.

"Right. This is why we don't insult cats. I forgot that. Never leave your hat around a rabbit and don't insult a cat." The human paused. "Ahem." Handsome Jack considered adding a little more flex. "I sincerely apologise for the insults you have taken of Handsomest of Jack Cats."

Handsome Jack couldn't quite decide if he'd been further insulted or it was a genuine apology but the human smelled terrible, and it would take an hour to get even worse stenches out of his claws if he gutted the human. He allowed Captain Ren to disentangle him from the pirate's hair, bandana and necklaces. He curled up in her arms, using ample bosom for a pillow. He then stuck his tongue out at the human who, if he had any sense at all, would be appropriately jealous of the Handsome Jack curled up in warm snuggles.

The human's response to stick his tongue back out at Handsome Jack.

"Really? What are you? Twelve?" Captain Ren muttered in disbelief as she gave Handsome Jack some pets and put him down on the deck to saunter off in search of an elusive dish of chicken.

"Now, about your hat stealing rabbit.." He heard the human start up.

Handsome Jack sniffed and flicked his tail in the human's general direction. Really, if he thought he was getting that hat back from Cindy, he was an even bigger idiot than Handsome Jack had taken him for.