Tuesday, December 27, 2016

[WoW Fanfiction] Going down with an elf.



Going down into the den of mayhem that was the Dalaran sewers was certainly a different experience when you followed a nine foot tall Tauren through the tunnels. Most of the people they encountered took one look way up at the smug shaman with Doomhammer on his shoulder and backed away slowly. Leensa was rather irked, what did they do when they saw her when she'd made the mistake of coming down here by herself? Why they'd attacked in force and tried to steal her sword.

She may have been muttered under her breath in Thalassian at the injustice of it all and not paying attention to Chewie coming to a sudden halt. She walked straight into his rear. As she took a step back, the tuft of his tail smacked her in the face twice. She was about to take a swipe at it when she realized the reason Chewie had stopped was because he'd come chest to chest with a Tauren almost as large as he was.

"COUSIN!" Bellowed the newcomer.

"COUSIN!" Bellowed Chewie.

Both echoed quite nicely through the sewers, causing nervous glances all around from the residents.

"You stole my fish!" Chewie accused.

"You stole my boat!" The newcomer returned.

"It had my fish in it!"

"And my wife!"

"I gave her back!"

"Why do you think I'm mad?!"

This exchange resulted in laughter that made Leensa roll her eyes as the two pounded on each other and passed back and forth a few more jokes that were hilarious only to them. Eventually getting tired of it, she elbowed Chewie in the side. He didn't even notice. Sighing, Leensa smacked his rear with the flat of her sword.

"Hey!" He protested, turning to look down at her and saw her expression. "Oh. Right." He turned back to his cousin, "Have you happened to see a couple of blood elf kids running about down here? Y'know how elves are."

Leensa wasn't even going to justify that. Besides, as tempted as she was to stomp on him, he'd probably just turn around and do the same, and he'd do a lot more damage.

"Oh sure." Chewie's cousin said, "They're over there with the crazy redhead." he gestured over his shoulder down one of the large drain pipes. He gave Chewie another thump on the shoulder, "I'll see you later Cuz. Have fun with the elves if that's possible."

"Somedays. Someone's gotta keep them out of trouble." Chewie said, finally getting a move on.

"Yeah. Okay." The cousin didn't look real convinced, and Leensa felt like smacking him with her sword too.

"Well, will you look at that!" Chewie exclaimed when they reached the end of the tunnel.

"I can't look at that; there's a big Tauren butt in my way!" Leensa protested.

"Is there? Well, I'm just curious, are you sure you left Raelanna in bed? Asleep? I mean, I realise you're not a tracker by nature and all but.." He kept moving as Leensa tried to shove past him, blocking her. "..That certainly looks like Rae, and she's not asleep or in bed and OW!" He whirled on her. "YOU BIT MY TAIL!"

"Well, you wouldn't get out of my way! And don't be a big baby, Chewie! I barely nipped it." She ignored him clutching his tail and looking at her with sad Tauren eyes. She shoved past him and finally got to observe that, yup, that was her sister sitting on a barrel lecturing two young blood elf would-be squires.

"RAE!" Leensa yelled, hopping down for the tunnel.

"Hey, sis! Welcome to the party!" Rae called happily, waving with her free hand.

"You are supposed to be in bed!" Leensa grumbled as she got to where her sister sat.

"Why? It's boring there. I mean, no one to play with!" Rae gave her best wide-eyed innocent look. "Hi, Chewie! You understand about boring beds with no one to play with, right?"

"Don't drag me into this!" Chewie said. "I'm just here to make sure no one eats your sister."

"Yeah, she is kind of a wuss." Rae agreed.

Leensa was about to curse them both out when she heard a whirling noise and ducked. An axe went flying over her head; Rae caught it one handed and threw it back. The dwarf who threw it cursed right before it hit his helm with a solid clang.  "I hate it down here!" Leensa complained.

"It is kind of stinky and sticky." Chewie offered.

"Fiiiine. Take the squibs and go back to boring upper Dalaran." Rae said.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Leensa asked incredulously.

"Why?! I'm not done having fun yet!"

Leensa took in a depth breath and let it out slowly. "Chewie's theory about Blood Elves may not be wholly inaccurate." She turned to the two youths who were staring at the collection of unconscious people Rae had piled up against the wall. "C'mon, you've got a lot of explaining to do."

"I told you, Elves be crazy," Chewie informed Leensa happily. "Rae's just less subtle about it that most."

"I heard that!" Rae told him.

"You were supposed to." he rumbled before grabbing one squire by the ear and letting Leensa grab the other by the elbow.

"Thanks for herding these two, by the way," Leensa said to her sister as they turned to go.

"Yeah yeah, you're ruining my image of helpless maiden." Rae made shooing motions.

"Ha. Helpless." Leensa muttered. Her sister's idea of fun was very strange, but then Rae thought Leensa was crazy for enjoying carving jewels. "Hey Chewie, did I mention Shev has you on duty at 0800?" Leensa asked innocently as she skipped up to him, dragging the helpless would-be squire with her.

Chewie stopped, turned and said "Nope, I just checked, the duty roster says 'Paladin who kept Chewie up all night is on duty at 0800.'"

"Wouldn't that be Rae then?" Leensa asked innocently.

Chewie just sighed. He didn't get paid enough. Hell, he didn't even get paid. He was obviously paying for crimes committed in a previous life.

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