[Rabbit Stories] Mr Mick, Postal Bunny.

Mr Mick was sniffing the pile of envelopes in the "out" spot. "That is not food!" he was told sternly.

"Of course it's not food," he humphed. "I'm just questioning whether you can get this delivered to Canada before Christmas." He gave a front paw flick in his Humum's general direction.

"Yeah yeah, you don't like the tree." He was told.

"Apparently today is not a listen to Mickey day." He grumped and settled down for a nap. He'd just have to sort everything out himself.

* * *

After everyone was asleep, he let himself out of his habitat and hopped over to the pile. "As if I'd chew my own face off." he muttered as he nosed through them and found the Canadian. "Want anything done right.. " He continued to mutter as he dragged it to the closet.

A few not-so-Christmassy words were growled when he had trouble closing the door because the cardboard envelope was in the way. He bit the bottom and folded it a bit and grumped some more. Soon enough he was at the other end, head spinning.

"Doesn't your human ever close this door?" Mickey grumbled as he hauled the envelope out.

"No." Freddie answered, stretching and making his way to the door of his cage. "She thinks bunnies can't get through then."

"Feh. Humans." He dragged the envelope and looked around. Deciding on the futon as good a place as any he grabbed the much abused bottom and head flicked it up onto the red mattress. "And that's not dinner!" Mick said with a thump of a hind paw.

" Not yet anyway." Freddie said cheerfully enough. He got most of the paper recycling to play with."You hanging out?"

"Nah. I have other deliveries to make. I suspect Speedy's is in the pile too, and who the fluff knows when that'd get there if we left it to the postal services." He yawned and stretched. "A bunny's work is never done!"

He hopped into the closet, closing the door behind him.

* * *

The human stumbled out of bed muttering something about coffee the next morning. She stopped and looked at that closet door. "Why'd I close that..?" Too early to figure that stuff out.

Kettle on, the human stumbled back to the living room to read email. Pulling the laptop onto her lap her brow furrowed as she looked at the envelope propped up across from her. "When'd that get here?" She couldn't remember if she'd checked the mail the day before or not. Guess she had, though she'd thought she'd have opened anything from Jade and Mr Mick right away.

Coffee forgotten, the human proceeded to squee over the calender. "Aww.. wook at this one!" she showed it to Freddie who feigned a vague interest in the two dimensional pictures he couldn't really see. He say the big brown lump often enough that he didn't need pictures anyway.

"Did I remember to send a card to Mr Mick?" The human asked.

"Did you remember to send anyone cards?" Freddie asked, eyeing the pile on the coffee table.

A yawn, a stretch and she put the calender up on the wall. "Now Mr Mick doesn't need to show up every month and sabotage my calender so it always shows him!" 

"He probably will anyway." Freddie said before grooming his tail. "Which is good, he can open this cage door faster that I can."

"Coffee. Shower." the human muttered, disappearing back into the kitchen.

"And pumpkin seeds for the gerbil!" Freddie chirped after her. "Not that you'll listen. I guess I'll just have to get them myself."

 

[Gerbil News] Newsflash! This just in!

Gerbil sneezes may just be about the cutest noise I have ever heard in my life.

(He's fine - just got a piece of litter on his nose.)

[Christmas Videos!] Whoops - forgot to put this in the last post.

It's Dominick the Christmas Donkey!

Carol of the Horde .. Eh, close enough. (<3 Letomi, sue me.)

[Bunny Stories] Christmas Party!

(My Mum's Christmas tree as I'm too injured to put up my own.) 

'Twas many nights before Christmas and trouble was stirring, thanks to one little desert mouse..

"You got the place for four days?!" Mick sounded jealous. "My Humom never leaves ME alone for that long."

"You'd die of starvation." Freddie chirped, scurrying along the couch. "Eat yourself out of house home the first day."

Thump went a hind paw, "Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

Two rapid thumps, "Ahem. Gentlemen?" Speedy said in his rather cool accent. Maddy fanned herself with a forepaw. Umbra rolled her eyes.

Harrington and Hannah were snuggling under the futon on the yoga mat. "This is comfy!" Hannah observed.

"And remarkably unused." Freddie agreed. "The Humum thinks she needs a bed mattress to protect her tailbone."

"Well, it's .. uhm.. pretty!" Harrington offered. The lilac DID go with his fur nicely.

Maddy snorted and hopped up onto the futon where Freddie was trying to shove pillows off. She grabbed a smiley face pillow and tossed on the floor. "Watch it!" thumped Umbra. "Then getouttatheway!" grunted Maddy back.

"Foo' Does." Mickey muttered and got a pillow bounced off his head for his trouble. "Hey!" He protested.

"It's in the closet." Freddie answered, leaving Maddy to organize pillows for bunnies. Bossing beings about was her speciality. "The Guinea Pigs made a cake and brought in a bale." He peered down off the arm of the futon, "Do you think an entire bale will be enough?" He asked Mickey a little too sweetly. Mickey chomped teeth in the gerbil's direction.

Speedy ignored the chaos and hopped to the closet to pull out the food goods, putting them on the kitchen floor. He then grabbed the leash on the fridge door to open it, standing up on hind feet to pull out the box containing the carrot margaritas and kale smoothies. Speedy was the designated portal hopper for the evening since his humum might be suspicious at a drunken bunny at ten o'clock in the morning!

Umbra hopped up to help shove the box to half-wall between kitchen and living room.

Freddie scrambled down off the futon and up the leg of the coffee table to jump on the remote a few times. The TV sprang to life with a picture of Christmas tree. "Humum's back is all growly so she's not put up a proper one this year." Freddie explained, "She's threatened to put the lights up in January and just leave them on. They are kinda pretty." He scurried off the coffee table and to the netbook, a few more hops, mutters about the dislike of Linux, and "Dominick the Christmas Donkey" started playing.

Freddie got several startled bunnies staring at him. "It's the humum's second favourite Christmas carol behind 'Carol of the Bells'. I like this one better." Freddie explained before scurrying to the bale of hay to stand up, holding a small glass of corn wine. "Here's to friend, past and present, to adventure's had and adventure's to come. Here's to happiness and mayhem, chaos and cheer, and may the next be another good year!"

The bunnies thumped their appreciation of the toast and had various drinks to celebrate.

"And here's to no cameras when I get so drunk I fall on my ear." Added Mickey before downing a margarita.
 

[Personal Ramble] What do you do?

(Myself and Miss Sage, Dutch Diva, ATB)

Michelle over at Raspberry Rabbits asked "What do you do?"

My first response, as per the norm, was a smart ass one of "As little as possible!" but having received a good scolding from a friend about my view of my life, I gave it a second thought. Fibro and body damage limits what I can physically so I do what I can mentally.

I like to think I make the world, or at least my little corner of it, a better place. I try to be happy and cheerful, I try to help people when I have the resources (physical, financial, whatever) to do so. I dream. I try to guide people away from hateful actions and towards acceptance. I try to believe the best in people even if I get burned. I try to smile even when life is being a big pile of doggie droppings. (Happy doesn't mean healthy, but if I can be happy and unhealthy, it beats unhappy and unhealthy!)

I write. Not as much as I used to, by a long shot, but I still flex my creative juices. I like to think I entertain a few, I make a few smile, and sometimes produce and out and out giggle or two. Sometimes my goal is to spread information, or to open a few eyes, or just to vent my spleen. Even happy people have wave your hands in the air and splutter days!

I try to be a good friend. I try to be there to listen, to offer advice, to assist as I'm able. I may not be able to help move your furniture, but I can listen to you rant about what a douchebag your boss is! I'm also awesome at writing resumes and cover letters. No connection. ;)

I also may have a slight soft spot for animals and easily wound around the softest paw.

What do I do? Try to be the best me I can be. If someone want a profession, I typically say "writer" but I like to think the reality is so much more.

RMR: Rick at the Royal Winter Fair

One thing great about Rick Mercer is that all the clips from his show go up on Youtube. Here's his bit with the bunnies.

[Bunny Rant] Rick Mercer (@rickmercer), 4H and Bunnies.

Dearest Rick,

You know I love you. You're my second favourite Canadian behind Michael J. (Sorry, he's cuter.) I love you ahead of my, and the rest of Canada's, boyfriend George S! If that isn't adoration, what is? However, on your show tonight (November 26th, 2013) I twitched; twice. It wasn't just a friendly nose twitch, it was a golden education opportunity missed. Yes, I'm talking about your bit with the rabbits; you chose 4H as the representatives, but that's like asking pork farmers to tell you about truffle hunting. I'll apologize now for coming across as the zealot I am when it comes to pet rabbits.

The "Look lady, I have stuff to do, politicians to harass, jokes to write" short form is :

- Hutches aren't enough. Bunnies need room to run.
- Bunnies are indoor animals. Predators can literally scare them to death outside, and if not possums, then weather.
- Bunnies are litterbox trainable.
- Bunnies are intelligent, creative and like having cute little three year olds hopping around your feet.
- Bunnies need to be spayed or neutered. (Just like cats and dogs!)
- Bunnies can be clicker trained. (As you saw when you got to do bunny jumping.)
- Bunnies are a long time commitment! They can live 10 - 12 years!

If you're still with me, here's the longer version of the shpiel. A better written version can be found over on The House Rabbit Society's website.

Bunnies, like cats and dogs, are indoor animals who need room to move, the right food, care, toys, and love. Many think bunnies are boring animals that live in a cage, eat carrots, poop and live to the "ripe old age" of four or five. You'd be pretty boring too if you spent your entire live in a two meter by two meter box.

The house rabbit (aka, the pet bunny) needs hay and lots of it. It should have access to fresh hay at all times, preferably timothy or orchard grass. If you're not lucky to live in farm country, then you can always find lots of the internet. You can also typically find horse people who'll sell you a flake so you don't have to buy an entire bale and wonder what you're going to do with a huge chunk of hay for the rest of the year. They deserve a salad to eat each dinner, from the store spring mix if you're lazy like me works well. Pellets should be limited and should be timothy based. Sweets like carrots, or apple, or other tidbits should be treats only. A fingernail size per pound of bunny is a serving.

Bored bunnies are destructive bunnies, just like bored dogs or bored humans! Bunny toys are a mix of creative ingenuity and raiding the stocks of other pet aisles. Bunnies like to fling things and chew things. Stackable cups, toilet paper rolls stuffed with hay, parrot wood and rope toys, all these keep a bunny happy and busy. A companion is also a good choice since if you're not around to snuggle or play with your bunny, they will get very lonely.

A happy bunny is a farting bunny. Bunnies require knowledgeable vets. Aside from being fixed to make them better companion animals, bunnies have delicate bones, delicate digestive systems and respiratory issues. Downside is, not all vets study bunnies and not all are willing to learn about them so vet care can get quite expensive quite quickly. A lot of animal insurance companies also don't consider rabbits eligible.

When someone says they have forty-seven rabbits, I automatically wonder how those rabbits are living. They can't possibly be getting the love, attention and exercise they need. Even rescuers who have divided up their house to help the rascally rabbits would blanch at taking care of that number. I often tell would-be rabbit slaves, er, owners, that they need to watch Bugs Bunny vs. Daffy Duck .. and they'll have less luck than Daffy.

If you want to spend your afternoon being overrun by cute, I'm sure that Rabbit Rescue Inc would be thrilled to help you.

Thank you for listening!

Stepping off my soap box,
Lorna Appleby