[WoW Fanfiction] Tanla the Brave.

 

"Tell me a story, Auntie Lorna?" Imogen asked, putting her chin on her auntie's leg. Who could possibly resist the cute look up that followed?

"Did I ever tell you about how Tanla started the 'Destroy Jaina Proudmoore' campaign?" Asked the Lorna.

"Nuh uh." Imogen replied, tail wagging eagerly.

"Oh, well, it goes something like this.."

* * *

Tanla stuffed the books into her satchel of holding. "Look, it's a simple application of dimensional space. You just fold a pocket so there's only one access, and just dump stuff in there. How much power you're willing to expend to maintain it dictates it's size."

The high elf with her sighed. Tyris had heard this all before and didn't particularly want to hear a fifteenth time how easy it supposedly was. Some elves just refused to listen to how some people were better at certain things than others. After all, how well would Princess Perfect swing a sword?

"Anyway - I'm just saying that all you need to do is .." She stumbled against a human woman. "Watch where you're going, oaf!" she snapped.

The woman turned, raising an eyebrow, "It is you who stepped into me."

Tanla rolled her eyes, "You stopped in the middle of the street for no apparent reason. Were you trying to find your guardian?" Tanla looked about, "You do look awfully young to be wandering about by yourself.."

The woman's eyes narrowed, "I am Jaina Proudmoore and I am a student here."

"Congratulations Jaina Proudmoore. I suppose they let their standards slide this semester. Or is your father someone famous? Proudmoore.. Proudmoore.. Didn't he lose some famous battle?" Tanla asked. Her companion facepalmed. Tyris couldn't believe she was going to pick a fight with a human just because she could.

Jaina continued to just stare at Tanla then smiled, "I understand now. You're completely on the offensive, being offensive, because you can't colour coordinate shoes with robes. A tricky task for someone so obviously colour blind."

Tanla opened her mouth, fist clenching to spark arcane energy, just as Jaina's started to puff frost.

Tyris grabbed Tanla's arm. "It's nice to meet you Ms. Proudmoore."

"NICE?" Tanla growled as she was hauled off, "I'll see her on the duelling floor! I'll wipe dirt with her smug human face! I'll show her colours of stars when I KO her into next week!"

"Yes, yes, you're dreadfully scary threatening human children." Tyris muttered, tightening his grip.

"And THEN I'll make her wish she'd made it out of the primary school magics primer!"

"She's terrified, I'm sure." Tyris looked over his shoulder at the human who was still standing there, arms crossed, looking unimpressed. Tyris was sure there'd be a round two and if he was lucky he wouldn't be there for it.

"My shoes go perfectly with my robes! That ape!"

"Yes. They do. Lovely shoes."

"And my robes are perfect!"

"Yes. Absolutely."

Tanla looked up at him. "You're humouring me! Stop it!"

"Yes dear."

The arcane mage let out of a long, low, growl.  Her revenge would be swift and painful.

 

[WoW Fanfiction] Tanla in Paradise.

Tanla Crystalsong was in paradise. Or about as close you could get to in Azeroth. She was lying on a hammock, that was gently swaying in the breeze, she had sunglasses, she had a nice swimsuit, her drink was fruity and alcoholic, and best of all the air was warm and the sun was shining.

It was a goblin run resort, which basically meant if you had money, you could stay. They were very subservient to good tippers. Thanks to her own efforts and her ex-probably-dead-husband, she had money galore. She could pretty much spend the rest of her life on this island in the south seas. She had her own house-hut, comfortable enough even if it wasn't her tower. The goblins didn't mind if her experiments occasionally exploded as long as she paid for any damage done. One goblin had even come to take notes about one spectacular mishap, hoping to replicate it for some bizarre invention.

"Excuse me, madam." One of the goblin servers said after a polite cough.

Tanla opened her eyes and turned to look at him. He didn't have his usual tray. "Yes Kainkle?" It was important to learn the lackey's names, that with gold insured excellent service.

"We have a slight problem that we hopin' a mage of your calibre could possibly help us with?" He looked nervous. It was never a good thing when a goblin looked nervous; massive explosions, chaos and destruction generally rained down shortly there after.

"It's possible." Tanla replied, sitting up. She finished off her drink with a large swig and swung around so she was sitting on the hammock, feet on the ground.

"Wonderful! You see, we're havin' a slight problem with a sea giant."

"A sea giant?" Tanla echoed. It was a long way from home.

"Yes, apparently a neighbouring resort decided to send us a present. Very nice of 'em and all, but he's demolished the steam rooms and is heading towards the stables, we were hopin' for some help from you. In exchange, we could offer you a complimentary stay for say .. a week?" He winced at the word complimentary. Must be bleeding the little guy to give anything away.

"While normally I'd argue for a month's free stay, you guys have been really good to me and treated me like a princess. The least I can do is take care of a sea giant for you!" Tanla got off the hammock, grabbed a small pack, and started towards the stables. "I cleared a few of those out of Booty Bay."

"Er, would you like your robes, madam?" Kainkle asked, scurrying to catch up with her.

"Nah. Won't need 'em."  She did, however, reach into her pack and pull out her staff. It gleamed in the sunlight, seeming eager for battle.

Kainkle looked at her dumbfounded at her pulling a very large staff out of a rather small pack.

"Magic." Tanla told him with a wink.

"Yes, madam." He managed.

Tanla strode north-east until she could hear the sounds of destruction. Horses and other creatures were making a racket, the sea giant was roaring, the goblins were firing guns and throwing dynamite, it sounded like chaos complete. Tanla almost missed the challenge of battle; almost.

Coming into sight of the monstrosity, she looked up. "Well." she managed. It was a very large giant and it was wearing dwarven made armour. It's club looked like it had been made out of ironwood and then runed into the next life. It didn't look like there was a single piece of its surface that was uncovered.   Her bartender was, at the moment, loading a rocket launcher. She supposed she better help rather than open a portal to Silvermoon and go shopping.

"Oi! Ugly!" She shouted.

The giant ignored her.

"Oh, that's it." She summoned arcane energy and hurled it at the giant's head. "HEY! YOU!"

The giant roared as the energy knocked him off balance. He turned to look down at the mage in a bathing suit and wearing sunglasses. He leaned down and roared at her.

The reward for his roar was a blast of magic right down is throat.

The giant made a most interesting noise and wavered around, holding his throat and almost crying.

"Are we killing or capturing, Kainkle?" She asked the server. He wasn't quite hiding behind her, curled up in a ball.

"Uh.. We don't have nowhere to keep it." Kainkle managed. Apparently stress was removing his normal snotty server speak and sending him back to goblin.

"Death it is." She said with a happy smile. She'd have chosen cake.

The giant was still being peppered with bullets when a huge rocket his knee. The giant roared again and started hopping around. Tanla fired several bolts of arcane energy at him, causing him to get even more off balance, and he crashed over. Unfortunately, he landed on the stables. It didn't look like any of the creatures housed there were squished. Hopefully they'd all escaped.

The giant was thrashing around as goblins with pitchforks, spears and shovels were starting in. "One moment!" Tanla called, gathering energy from the ether. She was gathering a lot. Almost near her full capacity of control. She then released it, sending it hurling towards the giant in two massive bursts, both sending him up into the sky, to land again with sick thuds, energy buzzing and snapping all around the now rather fried, and quite dead, giant.

The goblins all turned to stare at her.

"Well, I didn't want anyone getting hurt." It might inconvenience her. She was booked for a massage later, after all.

The goblins thanked her profuseley, some of them might even be sincere, but she managed to weedle two weeks free out of them. Tips not included, of course.

Tanla waved to the resort staff who were now trying to figure out what to do with a very dead giant. They'd probably smelt the armour, cut the giant up to bits to sell said bits, and claim the weapon was some ancient artifact and charge people to view it. The little green guys were creative that way.

A short walk and she was back in her hammock, enjoying the breeze and wondering how long it'd take before Kainkle came by with something alcoholic and fruity.

[WoW Fanfiction] Kittens are friends, not food. (With apologies to Kavo)

(Guest Appearance by Kavo) 

So there I was, walkin' through Orgrimmar, not a care in the world, when my stupid imp decided that a kitten would make a nice snack. Now, most people's imps liked snakes, snails and rats. Not mine, oh no. He had to snack on cute furry things, like bunnies and kittens and puppies. He said it was more evil, taste was irrelevant. Now, I don't let him eat those things, especially the bunnies 'cause they tend to be packin' heat. Gartbug wasn't even particularly bright for an imp. He didn't just decide to grab a kitten, he had to grab a high druid's kitten. Hasn't he seen the horns on a Tauren? They stomp lil'gals like me for breakfast! Well, maybe not breakfast 'cause they're grassatarians, but they still stomp!

So I go to grab the imp, and stupidhead goes and jumps out of the way cackling. Oh, I get it, he's not actually hungry, he's just tryin' my patience. You'd think the burp-stench would know by know that I don't have any patience! Especially not for lower-than-slug-slime imps!
Every time he goes and tries something like this, it makes me look bad to the other warlocks. Oh, just light him on fire, they'd say. Just shove him in a box and gas 'em, they'd say. It doesn't work - none of it does. I've tried to return him to sender half a dozen times, but he just keeps comin' back like some sort of damned cat.

"Stop that imp!" I yelled. Pride be damned, if he ate that kitten my ass was grass anyway.

A tall drink of water, a hunk in robes, a six pack hiding, yummy, yummy, gobman, pointed at Gartbug and be damned if ice didn't form under the little git's feet, causing him to splay every which way. The kitten went flyin', the ice mage snatched the kitten out of the air, twitched the pointing finger and suddenly Gartbug, the felburned little shmuck, was encased in ice! Mr Delicious held out the kitten, "Your kitten, ma'am?"

"Er, well, not my kitten." I offered, grabbin' the offending fleabitten furball by the scruff, "But Druid Whiteleaf's. But not feeling like being turned into mush.." I couldn't help but shrug and look up at the dish bein' served hot. I was about ready to toss the kitten over one shoulder and climb him like a monkey up a tree. What can I say? A girl's got needs!

A truly gobbie grin was my reward, "I somehow think, misbehaving imps aside, you can take care of yourself."

"Sometimes." I couldn't help being honest, I mean, it was the worst policy of all polices, but sometimes you just had no choice. I mean, fibbin' about ones prowess might, hypothetically, lead you to findin' yerself with twenty-something sweat-stink crazy strangers staring down the glutten of a huge ass black dragon with teeth bigger than the egos of death knights. An' then you'd find yerself wondering if the dragon would eat the first person to run screamin' back the way you'd all came. "The succubus is even more trouble." I finally said. Fessed up, even.

The grin widened, " I do recall something about a sucking succubus incident a couple of years ago..?"

Was there anyone in any dimension who HADN'T heard about that? How was a girl supposed to live down that? There was a reason I didn't summon Bitzy very often! I decided a quick and subtle subject change was in order, "I'm Lare." I said, sticking out the hand that wasn't holdin' a squirming baby feline.

"Kavo," He said, still grinning before leaning forward, takin' my hand kissin' it! I almost swooned. I think it's called swoonin' anyway when every bit of you tingles, the city gets dark, and you think about bein' face first in the mud. Or it could just be Deathwing Strikes Back; Revenge of the Idiot Dragon. I mean, Thrall SAID the dragon was dead, but that idiot orc says all sorts o'things, most of them nonsense.

Fortunately, sanity returned before I did swoon. "Whatcha want?" I asked, warily. I mean, tasty he may be, but hand kissin'? Seriously?

"At this time? Nothing." His eyes twinkled with delight, "But I think we can agree, you owe me one." He dropped my hand with a flourished bow, winking before sauntering off.

Well, shit.

He turned around, walking backwards, "Your imp should thaw out in an hour or two."

Just what I'd needed, to find a cart in downtown Orgrimmar in rush hour. I'd have to hoof it over to hippie-moo central, convince a druid I'd saved her precious kitten and get her to send one of her more muscles than brains warriors over here to cart the the mucus infested little toadcrawler home. With my luck, he'd thaw in time to light something important on fire.

I smiled and waved my fingers back at the departing ice mage. Yeah, I even waved with all my fingers, why get a debt called early? Stinkin' goblins.

[Fur Fiction] Train to Roskilde!

"This is prime napping time." Mick grumbled. Midnight. His human had gone to bed before midnight. Speedy told him to visit his pet viking. Mick had tried pointing out how grumpy vikings got when you visited them at 0630. Speedy had pointed out weren't vikings the most fun when they were at their most grumpy? While the British bunny may have had a point, Mick felt plenty grumpy himself.

He came out of the closet to find the viking already awake and not in the bedroom. He smelled a conspiracy. He'd smell a conspiracy even if he had a sinus infection. On the other paw, he also smelled oats coming from the messenger bag sitting on the floor by the viking's bed. Couldn't hurt to look, could it?

Rabbits could be very sneaky when they wanted. Mick didn't much care about being silent right now though, The Viking was humming to himself. He probably couldn't hear a rabbit at full speed on bubble wrap. Mick paused, the humming sounded suspiciously like Ozzy Fudd's Wabbit Slayer. He'd have to pee in The Viking's shoes later.

He flipped back the flap of the bag and stuck his head in. The messenger bag opened up into bunny space. Inside was a litter box full of fresh timothy hay, a bowl of oats, a water bottle, tossy things, and basically a bunny home away from home. Mick felt a foot on his butt and he was unceremoniously shoved into the bag. He turned around in the litter box, standing on his hind-feet with a thump of indignation. He put his front paws on the edge of the messenger bag and stuck his head back out.

"Road trip!" The Viking announced happily, chewing on what looked like the remains of a pastry.

"Are you allowed that? You'll get fat and sore foot." Mick grumped. He then thumped again for good measure. "Road trip?! I didn't agree to a road trip! A road trip where? And why? We can't just portal! Foo' humans."

The viking licked his fingers before wandering off into the bathroom to wash his hands.

"Ignoring me won't make me nicer!" Mick called after him. Seriously, was it backwards day where The Viking thought he had rights and commands?

"Talking to you doesn't either." the viking pointed out, coming back into the bedroom. He grabbed a jacket and swung it on. Picking up his shoes, he gave them a casual sniff before putting them by the bed to put on.

"I should have peed in them." Mick grumbled.

"That's what litter boxes are for. And here I thought you were a smart bunny."

"A VINDICTIVE bunny, I am a VINDICTIVE bunny." Mick corrected, removing his forepaws from the edge of the bag to sit on all fours in the litter box. "Where are we going and why can't we just portal?" he asked again.

"We can't bunny portal because you don't know where we're going." The viking happily pointed out.

"You could just TELL me." Mick retorted.

"Okay." The Viking picked up the strap of the bag and swung it over his shoulder. The outside of the bag shifted around, the inside didn't. Somebun had done some mighty pawsome engineering. The Viking walked out the door, locking it behind him. He looked at the horizon for a moment, then one way and then the other. He pointed off to the east. "We're going thatta way."

"Thank you Captain Helpful." Mick grumbled some more.

The Viking grinned and headed down the steps, stopped with a frown and started to head back up. "You locked it." Mr Mick said, sticking nose out of the bag once more.

"You sure?" The Viking asked, memory failing him and hesitant to trust Mickey's word. One never knew when the rabbit was playing Puck or playing straight.

"Yup." The nose wiggled.

He decided to trust the rabbit. It couldn't be THAT big a mistake, could it?

* * *

A short walk, a short wait, and a grumpy rabbit later and they were sitting on a train. It didn't take long for Mick to get bored and stick his head out of the messenger bag. "Am I allowed to be on here?"

"Sure. You're in a carrier like device." The Viking didn't look up from his tablet.

"Feh." Mick said, stretching up to look out the window. The station didn't look very exciting. "Bunny portal would be faster and cheaper."

"Uh huh."

"And have better snacks."

"There's carrots in the fridge." The Viking told him.

"There's a fridge in here?" Mick said with a large dose of skepticism.

"Sure. It's on the second floor." The Viking said with a yawn. Getting up early had seemed like such a good idea at the time.

"There's a second floor?!" Mr Mick dived back into the messenger bag and found a set of stairs hidden by the litterbox.

"Bring me a Fanta." Kim said to the bag.

"How am I supposed to carry that?!" Mick called up.

"Same way you carry a tablet." Kim replied. The doors thudded and eventually the train started to slowly roll down the tracks.

"Shaken." Mick grumbled to himself. After delivering his own refreshments to the floor beside the litter box, he dragged a bottle of Fanta up and threw it out of the bag. Unfortunately, it hit The Viking in the shoulder, rather than his head.

The Viking managed to catch the bottle before it bounced and opened it very cautiously. He was about to take a sip when a packet of trail mix bounced off the side of his face. "Thanks." He said dryly.

"Don't mention it." Mick said, flomping back onto the plush rug. Three seconds later he announced, "I'm bored."

With a sigh Kim passed his tablet into the bag.

"I better not find any freaky panda porn on here." Mick said, nudging it with his nose. He might be able to think-talk at certain Danes, but he couldn't read Danish. Whatever book The Viking was reading was quickly replaced by Sports Report.

* * *

Mick had eventually grown bored of surfing the web, especially since Speedy wouldn't tell him where The Viking was taking him. Cooper had been waxing about Texan storms. So, the lop eared rabbit was currently sitting with his chin on the edge of the messenger bag, watching Denmark go by. "Shoulda brought the laptop so I could play WoW."

"You play WoW?" The Viking asked with raised brows. He shouldn't be surprised, he knew, but somehow..

"Doesn't everyone?" Mick asked rhetorically.

"What a cute bunny!" a female voice exclaimed. Mick looked over his shoulder as The Viking looked up. She was cute, redheaded, and was leaning to look at Mick. Mick wondered if the cleavage shot was intentional.

"I'm not cute, I'm adorable." Mick corrected her, unfortunately, she couldn't hear him.

"Is he yours?" She asked.

"I'm more his," The Viking replied with a wry grin.

"His indeed." Mick grunted. "Put your tongue back in your mouth."

"Can I pet him?" She asked.

Mick sighed.

*BE NICE!* The Viking thought quite loudly.

Mick sighed again and leaned over so she could stroke his soft ears. The fact it put her chest right in front of the Viking's nose wasn't lost on him. "If you're using me to pick up chicks.."

"I'm actually just watching him for a friend. Don't mind his lack of manners, he's an American rabbit."

She giggled, "His fur is so soft!"

"Seriously, you can do better than this female." Mick told The Viking. Then thought about it, "Well, maybe you can't."

"Here," The Viking said, ignoring Mick. He picked up the bag and switched seats so she could sit down. "He's not big on being held, but it's okay if he's in the bag."

Mick rolled his eyes and ignored the flirting humans, if that's what you wanted to call it. It was as subtle as a sledge hammer to a plate glass window. As long as the two foot kept petting, he supposed he'd put up with it.

The Viking decided, if you could ignore the sarcasm, the rabbit wasn't the world's worst wingman.

* * *

A rabbit in a bag on his shoulder, a wave to Emma, and The Viking was on his way, an email address burning in his pocket.

"Does this entire country smell like fish?" asked Mick, sticking his nose out of the messenger bag and handing over a snack bag.

"No. Some bits smell like urine and fish." He took a handful of the mix and lightly bonked Mick on the top of his head, "Of course it doesn't."

"I see SOMEONE'S in a good mood," Mick grumbled, turning to look at the seagulls wheeling in the late morning breeze.

"My foot's not hurting, the bunny is not threatening to pee in my shoes, and it's not raining. What's not to enjoy?" The Viking asked.

Mick just let out a very long suffering sigh as they found their next train.

* * *

"Any more trains?" Mick asked. While he was enjoying the novel method of transportation, and watching the world click by, he was getting tired of the endless travel. As comfortable as the mini-condo was, he was sick of the same four walls.

"That was the last one." He had two more email addresses and a phone number in his pocket. He wondered if he could find a more agreeable traveling companion for future ventures. Speedy seemed to be the sort who'd like the rails..

"Oh good. Now what?" Mick sniffed the air. Still smelled like fish to him.

"Now we walk." The Viking shrugged the shoulder that didn't have a messenger bag on it. "Well, I walk, you complain."

"As long as we have an equitable work plan." Mick agreed. "What's with all the bicycles?"

"Have you seen the price of gas?" The Viking asked, "Bikes are cheaper!"

"And here I thought I was going to get a lecture on environmentalism." He sniffed and ducked back into the condo. "Wake me when we get wherever."

"I'll drop you on your head upon arrival." The Viking promised.

"Hmph."

* * *

A finger poked Mick in the head. "Wake up."

"I'm awake. I'm just doing my taxes." Mick said, stretching with a yawn, sending hay every which way. Fortunately humans were good maids. He stuck his head out of the bag and his eyes widened. "Is that.."

"It is." The Viking said proudly.

"So pretty!" Mick instantly scrambled out of the bag and hopped down onto the wooden pier of the Viking Ship Museum. He sped down the dock to periscope at one longboat after another. Five stood in various stages of construction.

The Viking strolled after him, ignoring the children giggling over a rabbit being loose. Mick would only be seen by adults if he wanted to be. The air smelled like tar, salt water, and freshly cut wood. Seagulls mine'd overhead.  Mr Mick was practically dancing in front of one of the ships.  "Well?" he asked.

"THAT ONE! I want that one!" Mr Mick said happily, bouncing up and down on his hind feet, seemingly having no balance problems even though he was in mid-periscope.

"All yours." The Viking said smugly. "What're you going to do with it?"

Mick waved a paw, "Don't bother me with details, I've gotta go get Speedy! I've got my very own longboat at last!" He scurried down the plans and for a moment The Viking had the thought he was about to be abandoned, "C'mon! We've gotta closet to England!"

He HAD planned to visit Roskilde while they were here, but, a free trip to England? What the hell.

Soon enough he was sitting in a closet with a very bouncy bunny. He was quite amused that Mick still had delusions he would be able to move a ship and/or sail the thing.

Mr Mick stopped mid-bounce and turned to The Viking to lick his cheek. "Thank you for my birthday present. Now all I need is a crew!"

Uh oh.

[Fur The Horde] I'm feeling exceedingly silly. (@Yaks @BBear @SilverLetomi)

"You're a cow?" Imogen asked with a good deal of disbelief. She knew she was a young dog still, but seriously, how stupid did people think she was? "How do you even type?"

"Same way the bear does." Yaks replied happily.

"Moo." said Buddy Bear.

[WoW Animal Fanfiction] Fur the Horde!

Guild name "Fur the Horde" credit goes to Imogen's Humom ; Silver Letomi

Imogen FINALLY got to log in. Her Mom had been working from home and hogging the gaming machines for far too long.

"Immi!" Izzy immediately greeted her. "Where have you been??"

"Ugh." Immi grumbled to the black lab cross. "The huparents have been hogging. Dad's been working twice as hard, Mom's working on her parodies and movies'n'stuff and they're ALWAYS home, so I never get on! I even tried hiding her shoes in the backyard so I'd get an hour, but that didn't work. I just got in trouble. I knocked Dad's LARP manual off the shelf three times before they took the hint of 'Hey, we should go LARPing this weekend!'

"I know what you mean. Paige'n'I have been faking fights so the parentals think they have to keep us apart. Paige'll nap with Mom and I'll play on Dad's comp, then it'll be my turn to nap with Mom.. or Dad. Or whichever human needs distracting. So she'll be on later tonight. Kinda sucks we don't get to group anymore, but whatya gonna do? Two foots are so hard to train."

"I trained mine just fine," Sammy interjected proudly.

"You're a cat. They don't expect much of you." Imogen said with a roll of her eyes.

"Pfffft." Sammy replied.

"Do you wanna run a dungeon? We have a new recruit, a rogue, he still needs some gear before he can do HHM with us." Isadora, aka Izzy, asked.

"Sure. You able to raid with us again in the future? Having Jack as the only hunter kinda rots." Imogen invited Sammy and Izzy to group.

"I can only hope. Paige should be able to, at the least!"

A quick look at the guild roster of "Fur the Horde" found Imogen the new rogue; Chuck.  "Hi Chuck, welcome to the guild! How are you finding it so far?"

"Cool. It's nice actually being able to talk to people. I was in a PvP guild, which was fun, but they were all epeeners."

Three girls kind of blinked at their screens, not quite sure what to think. "Er, right." Immi offered.

"My hubrother is friends with your Humom, I think." Chuck offered.  "They call me a bunch of weird names, but I like Chuck." He then added with a disdainful sniff "Chucky is a puppy's name"

"Gotcha." Immi agreed and quickly changed the subject, "Anyone else wanna come? Have room for anyone who can pretend to be DPS."

"I can try ret pally. Or Sammy can play dps, if she likes." Speedy offered. "I mean, I'm specced.. but I've never played ret.."

"Oh yeah, let me be enhance!" Sammy said with just a little bit too much glee to her sweet little black cat voice. "I've got a really nice mace I can introduce to the baddies with one swing, and an axe with another!"

Cats were just SO bloodthirsty! Immi invited Speedy before he could change his mind about grouping with a bunch of carnivores. Normally the rabbits stuck together.

"My axe is bigger than your axe!" Speedy said, linking a monstrously huge two handed axe to guild chat.

Aaand on the other paw, the rabbits could apparently play the ego game just fine.

"You gonna listen and stay behind me this time, Sammy?" Immi asked as she queued the group.

"Nah. You can keep up." Sammy told her blithely.

*I should just let her die a few times..* Immi thought for a moment and then sighed. She really couldn't. She had to protect and lead, and help, and herd, and .. Sigh. Cats.  Guild leading had seemed like such a good idea at the time.

"Okay. When I say ready, I will pull. You'll all completely ignore me and do what you want anyway. All except Izzy, who'll behave like usual."

"I could be a follower." Chuck pointed out.

"You're a rogue." Immi said with a sigh, "You'll just sneak off and find things to jab and steal."

There was a momentary pause. "Well. Yeah.."

"Just try not to step on the cat."

[Random Thing] Just how my brain works.

I found my keys no longer worked in the door. I pounded on the door until you answer. "WTF dude? I'm locked out."

"You were cheating on me, I'm dumping you and locking you out!" said Boyfriend Blizzard.

"Cheating on you?! I totally wasn't cheating on you!" I was shocked. Surprised. Confused.

"I have proof. I showed it to John. He totally agrees with me that you were cheating." Boyfriend Blizzard insisted.

"I wasn't cheating! What proof?! Can I see this proof?" This was ridiculous! There's no proof, since it never happened!

"Nope. You can't see this proof. But I showed it to Bob, too. He agrees you were totally cheating on me." Boyfriend Blizzard insisted.

"What proof?! There is no proof! I wasn't cheating!" I protested, also insisting on my innocence.

"You tots were. By the way, I'll take you back in six months when there's stuff I want you to buy me." Then Boyfriend Blizzard slammed the door in my face.